Special Weekend Edition

First off, I want to apologize for the lack of regular posts the past couple of days.  I received several emails asking if I'd run away to join the circus, and although I've had the notion many, many times, unfortunately, the "wolf-boy" gig has already been taken....so I'm afraid I would be perceived as just a cheap knock-off. 

And I would hate to be thought of as someone who tries to mimic anyone.  Incidentally, the reason I've been away from COMO CYCO headquarters has to do with the fact that I'm occasionaly mistaken for the wolf-boy.....This past Thursday morning, I awoke, like most other days, brimming with excitement to be starting another fulfilling day at my job.  But, upon entering my bathroom to brush my face, I looked into the mirror and  immediately noticed that something was awry.....badly.  When I finally realized what was going on, chills went down my spine. Somehow in the middle of the night, someone or something had shaved what appeared to be a pattern of tiny crop circles into my chest hair.  I quickly went online and discovered that this is not a new phenomenon.

I've still not yet determined either the significance or the culprit behind all of this, but I'm actually worried that the COMO CYCO dog is to blame and may be trying to establish a runway for his canine martian brethren upon my torso.  

Thoroughly freaked, I spent the next two days at home, in bed, eating Cheeze-its.  Alien dogs hate Cheeze-its.  But I finally emerged from my lair this morning - alien dogs be damned.

In other news, this weekend should prove to be an exciting one as tomomrrow is Liege-Bastogne-Liege.  Last years' champion, Andy Schleck will be trying to take the win again, with the help of his brother.  I wonder if they can make it a two-fer? Damn those Schleck boys are cool.

At any rate - today I bring you your weekly installment of Friday Mail....on Saturday!  Enjoy!

---

Dear PooBah,

I am a huge Harry Potter fan and have read all the books twice.  One of my favorite parts of the stories is the quidditch matches, where all the characters ride around on brooms.  I thought this was so cool, that I've invented my own quidditch broom bike!  You actually steer the bike with the broom handle.  Do you think I can catch the golden snitch with this?

Yours

Ronald W.

Ronald,

I don't know about any snitch, but you're certainly at risk for catching a scrotum full of splinters.  Be careful on this one.

---

Dear PooBah,

I think that the reason so many cyclists get hit by cars while riding is because the clothes they tend to wear are too flashy.  Motorists have gotten too acclimated to seeing the average multi-colored cyclist riding about town.  I think if we become more difficult to see, then drivers will be forced to look for us harder, thus raising their awareness of our presence.  This is called reverse psychology.  Thus, I've invented an "invisible bicycle".  I think this could be huge, and was hoping you could endorse it and help me spread the word.  Thanks!

George T.

P.S. Check out my invisible rain gear, as well :)

George,

Well done, dude.  I'm not sure this ride will be any safer, but I have to say, you've really made me think about the esthetics of transportation.  Your bike is very reminiscent of Wonder Woman's preferred method of transportation: an invisible jet.  But because she did not become invisible when riding in the jet, it really served no stealth purpose, as people could still see her inside of it, oddly flying through the air in a sitting position.

Thus, the creators of Wonder Woman must have made her jet transparent not to serve any real purpose, but rather so we, the pre-pubescent, and yet still, highly impressionable young male viewers, had the opportunity to gawk at Lynda Carter in her WW uniform floating around in space. 

Whereas I used to love to see Wonder Woman floating around, the sight of you riding along in mid air makes me inexplicably angry which has led me to the conclusion that for some reason, I think you deserve as ass-whooping, and I would like to see it delivered to you by Lynda Carter, but I don't know exactly why.  Anyway - if you can arrange that, I would be happy to endorse your bike.  Good luck with that.

---

Dear PooBah

Check out the sweet ride I pimped for the annual Puerto Rican celebration parade!  I even put a small figurine of a famous Puerto Rican idol on a special handlebar mount!

Yours,

Herve J.

Herve,

No idea, had I, that Puerto Rican Yoda is!

---

Dear PooBah,

Do you have any idea what  Alessandro Petacchi and Fabio Sabatini are doing in this picture?

Paul S.

Paul,

Like many young lovers relaxing in parks around the world this spring, I wonder if they are playing that old children's game of pretending that the clouds are taking certain shapes.....Sabatini says, "Oh Ale-jet, that one looks just like Cadel Evan's chin!"  "No," says Petacchi, "that's Boonen's ass!"

---

Dear PooBah-

Other than Megadeth, do you have any other favorite cycling-related music you like to listen to?

Thanks!

Marilyn S.

Marilyn-

Well I really like the album "Bicycle" by HR.  There something about the dude with zombie eyes towing a tethered crane with his bicycle as a small boy in red pajamas weeps that is surreal, and yet emblamatic of cycling culture today.  Somedays, I'm the crane......some days I'm the little boy.

Then there is a great kayaoke album by "The Barefoot Man".  Track one is especially good - "I wish I were your bicycle seat."  Oh the number of times I've had this same desire....it speaks to me.

But I think my favorite has to be "Nipples" by Cartoon Boyfriend.  The album cover depicts three naked men riding a bike built only for one.  I'm not sure how fellow's #2 and #3 are remaining suspended in mid air, unless......oh.....never mind.

---

Dear PooBah-

I read today that Ivan Basso's sister Elisa is being charged with selling illegal drugs.  Many of her assets have already been consumed in trying to fight the allegations swirling around her involvement in the same doping ring that brought her brother down four years ago.  This is going to prove to be a very lengthy and expensive court case.  Do you think she has the money to afford all of this?

Jerry T.

Jerry -

Well, she knows how to turn a quick dime.....she's done it before.

Thanks for reading everyone - enjoy your weekend!

CCPB