Friday, April 30, 2010

Friday Mail! Unitards galore!

I like to give Mark Cavendish (aka the Manx Missile) what some may call "the business" from time to time.  I have chosen to do so because of his history of being rather bragadocious......which is not a made up Mary Poppins word, but actually means acting like a cocky prick....which may be a redundant redundant definition now that I think of it.  At any rate, last week, I was feeling a little guilty because of this interview in which Cavs admits to having a bit of a rough season for a variety of reasons.  And some of these are really legitimate things.  If you are worried about Cavendish, fear not....I think the storms have passed.  My evidence?  Firstly his new collaboration with PRO accessory manufacturers in the creation of a line of handlebars and stems.  Especially slick is the logo each is adorned with.
Logo artistic licenses include lack of dental work and 20inch wheels.

Apparently "The Manx Missile" is not happy with his nickname, thus has assumed the new moniker of "Master of Faster" which is written under his name vertically on the logo. It doesn't really roll off the tongue that well and should not be confused with this: The Master Blaster, from Mad Max, Beyond Thunderdome.
But much like the Master portion of the couple called Master Blaster, Cavs is only as good as his lead out man (the Blaster), which yesterday was Mark Renshaw.  Renshaw did an amazing job of delivering Cavs to the end of Stage 2 of the Tour de Romandie, which he took in the sprint finish, flourishing a unique gesture to the fans as he crossed the line in first.  This leads me to the second piece of evidence that the old Cavs is back.....attitude and all.
Welcome back, Cavs.  The peloton was feeling a little too classy in your absence.  I bet the sponsors love it too!

Lance Armstrong is buddy-buddy with Cavs, but is currently busy racing in the Tour of Gila, making babies, and drinking Michelob Ultra.....but if he wasn't, I wonder what he would have to say about Cav's two-finger salute?

In other more relevant and local news....Tomorrow is the kick off of the Bike, Walk and Wheel Week here in COMO.  Join up with former mayor Darwin Hindman in Flat Branch Park at 11:00 AM for the Young at Heart Bike Ride, and then at 1:00 PM, check out a bike equipment expo, swap meet and Bike Polo match.  I have it on good authority there will be a pedal powered smoothie maker and root beer bar bike there as well.  More details can be found here.

And with that - I bring you Friday Mail!

Dear Poobah

Love your blog!! Allow me to geek out for a second. I have thought a lot about Wonder Woman and her invisible jet. I wonder if she misplaces the keys to the invisible jet can she find them? Are the keys invisible too? So I did some research **** warning geeek alert****, it seems Wonder Woman's Jet is actually an intelligent being from a different plane of existence. It takes on the form of an invisible jet and communicates with Wonder Woman telepathically in her world of existence. Which unfortunately isn't my world of existance :( I have always wanted to find a super hero type of lady dressed in a tight singlet willing to tie me up with a golden lasso that makes me only tell the truth.....I guess there is always craigslist ???

Aaro That Crazy Gotcha Guy

Thanks for your note!  You shouldn't give up hope - in doing a quick search online I've already come up with 4 possible candidates that could make your dreams come true:

Bachelorette #1:  Sara is a 3rd grade school teacher from Walla Walla, has a thing for Wonder Woman and also loves to knit outfits for her bike.  What a combo!

Bachelorette #2: Here's Janice, a police officer from Dayton.  Tight singlet? Check.  Golden Lasso? Check.  But heads up - she's also got the bullet proof wrist cuffs....don't get caught in the crossfire!

Bachelorette #3: Next up: Pat, a hair dresser from Starkville, Mississippi.  She may be a little hairier than what you were bargaining for - but hey, pickers can't be choosers.

Bachelorette #4:  And lastly, meet Maude, a meat inspector from St. Paul.  This is the one for you, my friend.  I just feel it.  She doesn't have a bike - but think of the fun you will have teaching her how to ride!

Dear PooBah
I love mountain biking, but have a horrible fear of ticks.  Now that summer is almost here - I'm terrified to go back into the woods - I just know that there will be a ravenous horde of them waiting for me.  Therefore, instead of wearing my normal cycling kit this summer, I've invented a tick-proof suit I'm going to be sporting.  I'm thinking of trying to market this.
It comes with black stilettos - good for stabbing the little bastards if you see one on the trail.
What do you think?
Kathy C.

Do you happen to have a golden lasso?  Would you be interested in meeting someone named "Aaro, That Crazy Gotcha Guy?"

Dear PooBah
What do you think about spinning?  I think this is a much safer way to get just as good a workout as being out on the road or some twisty trail on a bicycle.
Colin M.
I understand that you might feel safer spinning in place, but real cyclists must not only be concerned with their own safety - but that of those around them as their actions can have certain repercussions.  You are no exception just because you are stationary.   Think of the well-being of everyone around you, man....

Dear PooBah,
I am looking for my cycling soul mate, but have been unable to find her.....Therefore, I have decided to create a virtual cycling partner that I ride with in Second Life.  I've named her Melissa.  Would you like to join us for a virtual ride sometime?
Charles L.

Thanks so much for the invitation - I really appreciate it.  I have to admit being fairly ignorant to the whole virtual reality thing of Second Life, so have done a little research and stumbled upon your profile there.  I think you and Melissa will make a really great couple!

Dear PooBah.....

Aw screw it....I couldn't come up with anything for this picture - I just couldn't end a Friday post with Charles L. and his apple-tard. 

Have a great weekend everyone - see you all at the Bike, Walk and Wheel Week kickoff tomorrow!



  1. "virtual" Melissa's saddle height is clearly too low.

  2. The devil is in the detail of that tick-proof suit used to ward off that "ravenous horde"!

    "Virtual" Melissa will tip over her handlebars if her saddle is any higher.