Lessons in 'chic'

Sometimes commuting to work by bike is like eating a shit sandwich made on really good sourdough bread.  The delicious bread represents, of course, the rides to and from work in the morning and evening, but the shit in the middle is everything else.  This morning was such an experience.

Granted, the day is still young and many other good things could happen.....but how can it get any better than a gravel ride as the sun is just coming up and it is 62 degrees out with no humidity?  Thus, having sunk my teeth through the top layer of tasty bread this morning, I now find myself fully engaged in the flavor of the inner layers of some finely sliced poop of the day.  At least I can look forward to a more palatable ride home this evening, that is, if the meat hasn't soaked too deeply into the bottom layer of bread like a sweaty bologna and mayonaise sandwich that's been sitting in the sun.

And speaking of looking forward to things, I just wanted to remind everyone again about CycleChic this Sunday.  I've been invited to this on Facebook now about 20 times....so I'm thinking I'm going to have to make an appearance.  Here's what the invitation says:

"Put on some swanky duds!  We're going "cycle chic" on a 5-mile guided bike ride through downtown Columbia.  It's all about style over speed, so get yourself - and your bike - all dressed up! Prizes for "most chic" helmet." 

Flat Branch Park Gazebo @ 4:00 PM on Sunday, August 29th.

Now, my sources at PedNet have told me that some phone calls have come in raising the question of whether or not this is an all-female event.  Thus, the suspicion has been raised that some may be confusing the word "chic"  (pronounced SHEEK) with the word "chick".  Note that the first word has a long "i" and the second word has a short "i" and a "k".  Merriam-Webster defines "chic" as meaning "smart elegance and sophistication especially of dress or manner."  The word is of French origin, which makes me cringe, quite honestly, as I have hated the French language ever since my 9th grade French teacher made me repeat the words "parapluie bleu" (French for "an umbrella which is blue") over and over as punishment for pronouncing it as PARE-a-plooey BLUE, which to me, is much more fun to say.  At any rate, the word chic can apply to both women and men.  To help us all determine what is chic and what is not chic prior to the ride on Sunday, I've put together a visual demonstration.  However, these images represent my interpretation only as to what CycleChic means to moi (pronounced MOY), and should not disuade you from either participating, or dressing in whatever way fancies vous (pronounced VOOS).  On with the show:

"chic"

"NOT chic"

"chic"

"NOT chic"

"chic"

"NOT chic"

"chic"

"NOT chic" (but kinda cool somehow)

And of course, there are some derivations of CycleChic...

..like the fellow on the right who I classify as "chic with a touch of douche (pronounced DOOSH, also of French origin, and is roughly translated into English as either 'a shower', or 'a choade', or in this case, 'a showered choade')"

And this trio which I consider "douche with a touch of chic"

And this, which I consider as just "full douche..."

Men, as you can see, we have a greater challenge.  A fine line exists between chic and douche, and at any given moment, you can be as close as a scarf or a little too much hair gel away from straying over the line. I realize that this may seem like a grey zone as to what is considered appropriate.  But if the previous photos have demonstrated anything concrete, it is to stay away from carrying roadkill, livestock or a mullet with you on Sunday or you're never going to attract any women (pronounced CHICKS).