Monday, August 30, 2010

Cycle Chic Sunday Roundup...resonate your energy fields!

The first order of business today is to thank the organizers of COMO's first Cycle Chic Sunday Ride which occured yesterday.  The good folks at PedNet put on a great event which I attended, dressed in what I believed was my best 'cycling chic' apparel.  My experiences along the way were the following:

1)  The average non-cyclist passer-by in COMO is not nearly as amused with seeing a parade of natty cyclists as the natty cyclists are to be in the parade, themselves. 
2) No amount of dinging one's bell will ever allow a cyclist to overcome the observation noted in the aforementioned statement.
3) The best way to cultivate some truly epic 'swamp-ass' is to ride your bicycle in 92 degree weather while wearing your church pants.

Photo credit: Missourian Neighborhood News.

4) Not to make the Cycle Chic event tawdry in any way, but I also have a bit of a confession to make.  There was a cyclist there of the female persuasion wearing a somewhat loose-fitting dress, who was, at one point, bent far over her handlebars making some adjustments to her front wheel prior to the ride.  It was at this precise and very unfortunate moment that I innocently looked over at her.  Unintentionally, I ended up staring right down into the chasm of her cleavage, which was rather overtly displayed. Somehow, from a distance, I ended up 'eye-to-nipple' as it were, with her right breast.  It was then that she looked up and completely caught me looking.  Embarassed, I rode away quickly and in very non-chic fashion.  I would like to take this moment to profusely and sincerely apologize for the inadvertent peek.  Crazy things happen when hot-weathered fashion and cycling collide and I'm quite sure that at the future installments of Cycle Chic (scheduled for the last Sunday of every month) as the weather cools, that high-necked sweater and scarves will be in order and this won't happen again.

Moving on.....

This weekend also saw some action in the world of pro-cycling, as the Vuelta a Espana began on Saturday with a night-time team time trial. Columbia HTC won in convincing fashion, thus putting Mark Cavendish in the race leaders' red jersey.  For the podium presentation, they placed Cavendish on an extra high step so that he would be taller than the Amazonian podium girls (barely) flanking him.

Sunday's stage into Marbella was one for the sprinters, but alarmingly, Cavs got beat at the line by Yauheni Hutarovich of FDJ.... to which I'm sure he responded, "Ya-who-ni Who-tarovich?"  Yeah...this guy bested Cavs, Farrar and Petacchi.

As he was celebrating on the podium with his champagne, I noticed something on his right wrist....

I've been seeing these wristbands a lot lately and haven't been able to figure out what they are.  But upon witnessing an infomercial over the weekend, I immediately recognized that the little white wristband was the source of Hutarovich's power which allowed him to beat Cavendouche.  Gone are the days of the yellow Livestrong wristband, and here are the days of the Power Balance Bracelet with the power of a hologram!

According to the website, the hologram "is designed to resonate with and respond to the natural energy field of the body."  I could go into a lengthy scientific explanation of how holograms resonate with your energy fields and everything, but instead, why not hear it from one of the self-proclaimed (and heavily paid) Power Balance generals himself, Shaquille O'Neal.
Apparently if Shaquille had his way, he would cover every part of his body with a Power Balance hologram, which is honestly, a scary thought.  I'm not sure the world is ready for Shaquille O'Neal resonating energy fields from every part of his body.  But you shouldn't just believe O'Neal's testimony.  Professional cyclist (MTB) Willow Koerber also endorses the Power Balance wristband.  I was lucky enough to stumble upon a photo of Koerber in which you can see her energy field resonating so intensely that she can barely keep her jersey zipped up!
What a bargain at a cool $29.95.  I never saw a Livestrong bracelet have that effect about resonating energy fields!  I wonder if the woman at the Cycle Chic Sunday ride was wearing one as well?


  1. Yep, that Chic ride was a bit hot. Therefore there were plenty of hot chicks there (which is cool).

    I'm pretty sure that the Armstrong bracelet is just as effective as the Power Balance Bracelet (placebo), but nobody was told of it's amazing potential. The placebo effect can be very powerful and real. Also the side effects of placebos are pretty limited, in this case it is around $30.

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  3. Nice :)