PooBah: Not quitting my day job and not denying 'anti-doping'

Yes, yes....all 12 of you who were waiting to read today's post while eating your tuna-salad over your lunch hour were probably greatly disappointed in the fact that this afternoon's installment is coming so late in the day.  And for this, all I can say is tough titty - when GoogleAds start cutting me a fat check to serve up this slop, then maybe I will get the stuff out on time I'm really sorry.  As both cyclist and blogger, Andy Shleck said it best in his very own blog today in repsone to Pozzato attmpeting to become a cyclist-blogger:

"The world of blogging...isn't as easy as everyone in the press makes out.  All I'm saying is don't quit your day job.  Stick to cycling, chest waxing and fast cars."

Despite the fact that Schleck wasn't talking about me, I've decided to take his advice as well.  Especially in the chest-waxing department because mine's gotten a little out of control lately.  According to the following chart depicting male typical abdominal hair patterns, I'm somewhere between 'acuminate' and 'disperse'.

However, since I have little tolerance to pain, and therefore cannot get a tattoo in the style of many cyclists like Pozzato, I'm going to try some selective shaving patterns, as I think chest shaving will be the chest tattoo 2.0:

But I digress.  The reason today's post is 1) not Friday mail, and 2) horribly late is because certain events occured in the sporting world recently which have sent the entire COMO CYCO staff reeling, and we are trying to make sense of it all.  No, I'm not referring to the Tiger Woods apology video in which a Disney animatronic wax figure appearing just like Tiger stood behing a podium today to make some statement about something or other.

I don't know what he was talking about because I kept getting distracted by trying to comprehend all the intricate machinations that must go into making these humanoids walk and move.  And just like in the Hall of American Presidents, the Tiger robot seemed so life-like that it was actually quite creepy.

No, what I'm speaking of was last evening's broadcast of Larry King Live on CNN which featured Priscilla Presley and Quentin Tarantino.  Oh...and also Floyd Landis.  By now, everyone has heard that a French judge has issued a warrant for Landis' arrest should he enter France for alleged computer hacking.  Well Floyd went on Larry King last night to make his side known on the subject of illegal computer tampering, and Larry cut right to the heart of the issue with his first question, reprinted here from the transcript made available at CNN.

King:  "First, quickly, Floyd, do you feel any kinship with Tiger Woods being a celebrity in the public spotlight, even though he's not under a warrant?"

It's in this first question that King shows just why he is, in fact, the king of television interviewing.  What a logical connection to draw between the two individuals....because they are both athletes, of course, they must understand what it feels like to be in one another's shoes right now.  All I can say is that it's a good thing Tiger didn't field questions during his statement today, because I'm sure the first question asked would have been, "Tiger, first, do you feel any kinship to Floyd being a celebrity in the spotlight even though he's not slept with half of Orange Country, Florida?"

Next, King dips into an old bag of interviewing tricks known as the 'Abbot and Costello' in which he attempts to catch Landis in a "Who's on first" shtick by confusing him.....

King: "Why haven't you replied [to the summons to appear before a French judge], Floyd?"

Landis: "I've never been contacted."

King:  "You've never been contacted?"

Landis: "Just - no.  I've never been served any sort of warrant.  This is all news to me."

King: "So you're replying tonight by saying you didn't do any anti-doping, right?"

Landis: "I did not do [computer] hacking!"

Cleary King tried to use the old double-negative ploy in getting Floyd to admit he didn't "anti-dope", therefore suggesting he did dope if he denies not-doping.  Wait - I'm confused....anyway, King goes on....

King: Simply put, Floyd, why don't you just go to Paris, answer the warrant? Have you received the warrant?

Landis: "That's what I'm trying to tell you."

King: "No."

Landis: "No, I haven't received anything."

King: "You haven't received anything?"

Landis: "No."

They say that the only advantage to Alzheimer's is that you get to make new friends every single day.  I suppose in the case of Larry King, it means you get to hear new answers to the same question no matter how many times you ask it.

Maybe I could be so lucky and forget I actually spent the time to listen to the pointless interview at all. 

Pedal on!