Friday, February 5, 2010

Friday Mail! BOOBs, Bananas and Film Festivals!

I have to start today with some late breaking news.  I have been called away to attend the third annual BOOB conference (Bloggers Organization for Online Bicyclists) next week.  At first, I didn't think I would be asked to attend, since registration is limited to those bicycle-realted blogs with more than 10 followers, but sometime this week, I picked up lucky #11 (thanks mystery Ryan!) which means I'm heading to Walla Walla, next week, baby!  Once there, the COMO CYCO blog will compete against other cycling blogs for the 2010 BOOB award, which could be incredibly exciting. 
I've long dreamt about getting to put this little baby up on the COMO CYCO mantle, right next to the empty GU gel packet I snagged off the roadside that Tom Zirbel may have discarded at the Tour of Missouri last year.  However, I don't want you to worry that I will leave you empty handed next week!  While I'm busy attending lectures on HTML and RSS and the like, you, dear readers, will get to attend the inaugural event of something special.  Inspired by the upcoming True False Film Festival that COMO hosts every year, I decided to assemble the First Annual COMO CYCO Film Festival and everyone is invited!  Yes, all you need to do is tune in each day next week for a new installment of some truly spectacular cycling-related film.  I hope you enjoy it!

And with that, I bring you this weeks mail!

Dear PooBah,
My bike was stolen last week.  I posted some signs around town hoping someone could provide some info.  Would you mind posting my sign on the COMO CYCO site?
Thanks -
Um....I don't know what happened to the bike itself, and I'm not quite sure how to tell you this, but I actually think I may have stolen the skull flag.  I couldn't help it.  I needed something to complete the ensemble I'm putting together with my new skin suit.  Sorry....send me your address and I will get a check in the mail.

Dear PooBah,
I'm trying to teach my 12 year old son how to ride a bike without the training wheels.  I walk along beside him and hold the saddle and guide him, but he is just so wobbly on the thing.  Do you have any suggestions?  I've attached a photo so that maybe you can show me if I'm doing something wrong.
Mike R.

Whoa, you do have your work cut out for you.  The lad is only 12, eh?  Have you had his glands checked recently?  At any rate - you might start by taking off his aerobars....I don't think he's going to need them quite yet.  By the way, your boy bears a stricking resemblence to Scott Bakula...

Dear PooBah,
The other night, my wife and I were driving downtown to go to a show, when out of nowhere, several cyclists rode right out in the middle of the street, causing us to nearly hit them!  It scared Brenda and me nearly half to death!  When we got out of the car, the cyclists started verbally attacking us!  Someone even caught the whole incident on film!  What gives?
Albert G.

You obviously encountered a few members of the Banana Bicycling Clan (BBC)...a proud group that seek to protect the fruit that is most important to all cyclists for its rich source of potassium and its totability. 
These brave souls ride to raise awareness of the plight of the banana louse which is decimating banana trees all over the world.  I know these cyclists were likely at fault, but next time, maybe let them pass, and give them a friendly wave.  Many times, members of the BBC will carry free gifts with them which they give out.  Had you played your cards a little differently, you might have gotten, say, one of these nifty holders that will protect you from bruising your own banana....

Dear PooBah
Can you give me some advice regarding my son?  He's really getting into some gangster rap music lately and emulates the culture so much that it has me quite concerned!  I bought him a bicycle, which he loves, but he's even found a way to incorporate cycling into this hip-hop fad!  What do I do?
Missy E.

Well if his necklace charm resembles anything like the real bike you bought him, there's no wonder you've got problems.  His friends are probably making fun of him for riding around like an old Danish man, which only encourages him to act out more!  You've got to try to speak his language and let him explore the little 'gangsta' inside of him.  In other words, you need to pimp that ride....Try something like this instead...

Dear PooBah-
A couple weeks ago you spoke about how Heinrich Hausler was quoted as saying "2nd place is like being the first loser" when he came in 2nd behind Mark Cavendish at last year's Milan-San Remo race.  I too hate coming in second and am wondering if anyone, in the history of cycling has ever actually found anything positive about it?
Timothy B.

This guy.

Thanks for reading everyone.  Enjoy the COMO CYCO Film Festival next week! 

Pedal on!


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