Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Time management

The recent op-ed penned by Jonathan Vaughters in the New York Times regarding his doping and his suggestions for changing the sport has become a gift that just keeps on giving.  Shortly after it was published, Kansas cyclist, Steve Tilford decided to issue a response, lyrically titled, "Your Timing Stinks Jonathan."  (To answer your question, no, I didn't forget a comma in front of the word "Jonathan."  Tilford did.)  He sums up his opinion on the article with this statement:

"My take on the article is that it is disingenuous, feeding the general readership, an ignorant audience on this subject, misinformation. I could easily rip the thing apart on multiple levels.  But, that would be a waste of my time."

So, Steve Tilford suggests that if you are amongst the general readership of the New York Times and are not a pro-racer, you are an "ignorant audience."  Check.  Also - he says any further analysis of the piece would be a waste of his time.  Remember that.

Well, somehow Tilford miraculously finds some time to come back to the subject in another post the very next day, eloquently titled, "Good Guys don't always do the Right Thing."  Here he backs off a little bit in response to some comments he recieved and concedes that Vaughters is a "super nice guy."  But "Just because I think that he has ulterior motives for many of his actions doesn't mean I wouldn't like him."

I wouldn't have thought Tilford had the mental facilities to issue a back-handed compliment, but he does so here with surprising skill.  I bet Vaughters breathed a huge sigh of relief knowing that Steve Tilford might like him.  I wonder if JV will send him a reply asking him to circle "yes" or "no."

Reading Tilford's blog is like reading a letter from your Uncle Bubba in Hicktown, Mississippi.....the uncle that flunked out of an air conditioning repair internship, and now runs a worm farm.  Here are some other "Tilford Gems" from his second post:

"So now he [JV] gets a 2nd chance.  For me, he's not doing so well with it so far, in my opinion."

"His [JV] tactics and methodology isn't so obvious to me right now."

If I read sentences like this out loud, somewhere, my 4th grade teacher, Ms. Niarchos, shudders with a cold chill and senses that there has been a disturbance in the grammar force.

Well, Tilford's spewing vitriol finally caught the eye of Vaughters himself who commented on his blog which only inspires Tilford's inner idiot to begin spasming.  In response to the very fact Vaughters responded, Tilford says:

"I have no idea how you have enough time to keep up with all this electronically.  Maybe you've just blocked off this whole week to keep it all going in the right direction?  To me, it seems like you might have to start again on a "program" to have enough energy to deal with it all."

I love the way Tilford transitions from just being a harmless dumb-ass here to really getting nasty in suggesting JV should start doping again.

Another website, Twisted Spoke, then jumps into the fray and the debate between Vaughters and Tilford continues in the comment section there, where Tilford first tries to misquote Vaughters and then chooses his next targets: Trent Lowe and Giro d'Italia winner Ryder Hesjdal:

"How about Trent Lowe.  For that matter, Ryder.  Why would he [JV] another hire (sic) a rider off a team that was run by Johan Bruyneel when he personally experienced what Johan expected from his riders.  If you're attempting to run a clean program, why?"

And Tilford still isn't done with it.  He goes back to his own blog and writes this:

"First and foremost I can’t believe how much time Jonathan has spent on the Internet the past week. I have no personal knowledge if this is normal for him, but he seems to be posting anywhere and everywhere that his “mission statement” has been critiqued. It seems unfathomable that he has enough hours in the day to be doing this."

Sweet fancy Moses, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, my name doesn't rhyme with DOO-DAH!  (But I do give him credit for using the 50 cent word 'unfathomable' - which he even spelled correctly). 

All I can say is thank goodness we have Steve Tilford magnanimously policing the peloton and spending his valuable (and clearly very limited time) calling out charlatans like Jonathan Vaughters - and Ryder Hesjdal for that matter.  (I always suspected that he was dirty....he's just so....what's the word.....Canadian).  I wonder if all of this ranting has made Tilford thirsty....because if so, might I suggest....

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