Monday, July 26, 2010

The tour is over...drown your sorrows in some fabulous prizes: Caption contest winners announced!

The 2010 Tour de France is over and, as everyone knows, Alberto Contador won the race by monkeying with Shlecky's front derailleur when he wasn't looking besting Shleck in the time trial.  Bert rode into Paris on Sunday on a hand-painted, customTarmac whose top tube featured an airbrushed painting of what is supposed to be Contador himself in front of the Arc de Triomphe.  Interestingly, the artist chose to give Alberto a rather sizeable bulge in the crotchal region.

Furthermore, the cyclist doesn't even look like Alberto, but rather a lot more like John Belushi.

Bad paintings aside, every year, the Monday that follows the final stage of the Tour de France always ends up feeling like the day after Christmas to me.  On both occasions, I wake up, don my bathroom and pad about the COMO CYCO headquarters with a cup of coffee in my hand in a bit of a foggy daze from an emotional hangover.  Bits of once-relevant paraphernalia, like half eaten candy canes, errant tinsel, the Tour edition of VeloNews, giant PMU foam hands and my special comemorative Caisse D'Epargne boxer shorts litter the floor......and I feel a little lost.  But we must soldier on.

Thus, to ease the post-tour depression, I'm happy to announce the winners for the first ever COMO CYCO contest.  If you don't remember, a couple of weeks ago I gave you three photographs that were amusing (to me at least) and asked you to come up with a caption for each.  The single best caption for any of the photographs would win for its author, a $20 gift certificate for the cycling shop of that individual's choice.    The COMO CYCO committee awarded a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place, but only the 1st place winner gets the loot....consolation prizes will be awarded for 2nd and 3rd place.  So with that.....I bring you this year's winners!

In third place:

Anthony G. wrote: "Vinokourov shows Pippo Pozatto how a real cyclist makes cornrows (see photo)."

Congratulations Anthony. For third place, you get an authentic vintage copy of the July 1972 (Volume 4, No. 1) issue of "Fanny" magazine featuring none other than the Irish modelling phenom of yesteryear, Plenty O'Ham, on the cover.

In second place:
Anonymous wrote: "Finally, the real reason Mark Cavendish was caught crying so much during the Tour de France is discovered:  arch rival teammate Andre Griepel,  who was relegated to racing in the concurrent and far less prestigious Tour of Austria, gets the podium girls to fondle his sausage....a definite sign of his increasing status since in the Tour of Turkey, he suffered the indignity of having his banana being handled by an old man"

Congratulations Anonymous.  For second place, you win a genuine terry-cloth Peugeot yellow cycling track suit (red jacket not included).

And finally....1st Place goes to:
Nathan M. who wrote, "Paulinho tries to blow the RadioShack kryptonite suppository out his ass before doping control tests him for winning stage 10 of the Tour de France."

Congratulations Nathan!  In addition to the $20 gift certificate, you also will receive a one-year free membership to the Official William Shatner fan club.  As you probably know, the image of the fezzed-Shatner has become synonymous with COMO CYCO, much like Alberto Contador's graphic fingerbang, or Lance Armstrong's ownership of the entire color yellow. 

As a William Shatner fan club member, you will get to learn the Shatner mating cry and also get to debate such topics like what Shatner used as motivation during his long standing portrayal of Captain Kirk.

Thanks to everyone who played!  And stay tuned for upcoming contests....


1 comment:

  1. Thank you and your staff for choosing my caption. However, since Lemond suspects a cleaner tour maybe I should open my heart once again to the anaerobic advertising monkeys riding around in Francy in July. Therefore, I want to donate the prize to the CBC junior cycling team or Pednet.

    Pedaling through fields of atrazine in ND - HV