Reflections

Firstly today, I must tell all those of you who entered the Thursday Caption Contest to hold your water be patient.  The COMO CYCO judges are currently reviewing your entries and will be arriving at a decision in the very near future!  I know in these troubling economic times, 20 clams doesn't go very far.  But hey - it can still buy you about 12 packs of Mint Chocolate GU gel for you to drown your sorrows in....

Secondly a little Tour talk: 

1) I'm still kind of reeling from a post BikeSnobNYC wrote last week about how he blamed Team Garmin for the actions of Mark Renshaw that ultimately got him removed from the Tour de France.

"If anything, I blame Garmin for all of this, whose rivalry-with-Columbia-that-they-refuse-to-acknowledge-in-interviews occasionally leads to "cockblocking." We saw this last year on Stage 14, when Garmin chased the breakaway and "cockblocked" Hincapie out of the yellow jersey. (Not that anybody necessarily owed Hincapie the jersey, but it was a "cockblock" nonetheless.) Similarly, yesterday's move by Dean was also a "cockblock," and while Renshaw responded in kind I always say "Let he who is without 'cockblocking' block the first cock."

I love BSNYC as much as anyone but lately, his incessant arbitrary opinions are wearing on me.  First, if I remember correctly, last year's Stage 14 also saw Lance Armstrong and team Astana reeling the Hincapie breakaway in - diminishing their inital 15 minute lead down to around 8 minutes.  So how do you decide whom to pin the blame on for the last 5 seconds by which Hincapie missed the yellow jersey?  Secondly, why is anyone to blame? It's a fricking bike race! However Armstrong was instant in his defensive accusation of Garmin via Twitter:

“No one wanted George in yellow more than me."

“Until 10km (6.2 miles) to go he was solidly in yellow until GARMIN put on the gas and made sure it didn’t happen.”

Lastly, BSNYC also blames Renshaw's dismissal on Garmin?  I can totally buy his argument that an initial infraction was committed by Julian Dean leaning on Renshaw, thus initiating the spar, but BSNYC goes on to say Renshaw's second act of sweeping across the road and pinching Farrar into the barrier was "less egregious than Dean's initial blocking maneuver."  When did it become less egregious for a lead out man to take out another team's lead sprinter by putting him into the barrier than for two lead out men to lean on one another.  I think BSNYC has been drinking Armstrong's special blend of Garmin-hating kool-aid a little too heavily lately. 

Regardless, in the aftermath, Garmin didn't even have a chance to protest the move before the officials disqualified Renshaw.  But after Renshaw reflected upon it, he said "I won't speak with anyone from Garmin anymore," as though they had the power to kick Renshaw out themselves.

2) On to yesterday's controversy between Shleck and Contador atop the Port de Bales which we can call, "To attack, or not to attack." 

I've read a lot of commentary on whether or not Contador should have attacked Andy Shleck after he dropped his chain forcing him to stop not once, but twice.  The Versus crew were arguing about it at 5:30 AM CST this morning with Phil (siding with 'Bert) up against both Bob and Paul (siding with Shlecky).  Part of their discussion involved the etiology of the dropped chain....had Shleck shifted incorrectly or did his drive train fail him, somehow?  I'm sure the SRAM kids were sitting back in HQ shitting their collective chamois over this discussion.  What the hell difference does it make?  Both chains and Luxembourgians were dropped.....hard!  As everyone has had time to reflect back upon this, however, 'Bert offered a YouTube apology and once again the illustrious BSNYC was quick to criticize both him for making the apology and also Cervelo co-founder Gerard Vroomen for saying "Contador just gained a great chance to win, but he lost the chance to win greatly."

BSNYC responds: "No hastily-uploaded hotel apology could possibly counteract the power of a clever flip-the-words-around-for-emphasis sound bite "tweeted" by a man with a thoughtful expression and an authoritative and clinical lack of hair."

Well, If thoughtful expressions and clinical lack of hair are all that are required to wield the power of the word, as BSNYC insinuates, then he should be well armed, since he too enjoys the occasional meaningful glance into the camera and seems to have an increasingly disproportionate forehead-to-hair ratio....

As part of Contador's apology he stated,

"I'm not happy, in the sense that, to me, fair play is very important. Just like I did in the Spa stage, when both Andy and Fränk were behind the pack, I didn't hesitate to stop the bunch so that they could catch up.

“Many people criticized me for doing that, especially after the stage on the cobbles, when the crash happened and the whole bunch split as a result, and it allowed Andy to take time on me, but I always settle it by saying I'd do it again,” said Contador. “The kind of thing that happened today is not something I like, it's not my style and I hope my relationship with Andy will remain as good as before.”

After hearing this, even the thoughtful (and bald) Vroomen admitted,

"Alberto has a tiny point:  Schleck didn't wait for him after the cobblestone crash so complaints about fair play ring hollow."

 

In the end, whether or not Contador's move was fair and whether or not Armstrong may have inadvertently contributed to a chase down of Hincapie in last year's Tour, and whether or not Renshaw intentionally drove Farrar into the barriers.... all of those things become secondary to the reactions they make to the public and their desire not to lose face with their fan base.   Reactions and reflections are easy because they can be thought over and calculated...but the initial action is made in the fraction of a second, and may be the more accurate and revealing descriptor of a competitor's character.

Revelations

I've taken a little heat over yesterday's post regarding the term I used in reference to the pubic region of Ms. Meghan Barnes, who crashed her car during mid-shave.  Apparently "hoo-ha" is not the most in-vogue terminology.  If this offended anyone, I want to apologize.  I had considered a number of other descriptive terms, and in retrospect fashion, discussed some with my Editor in Chief, the GEEC over dinner last night.  Not only had she never heard of any of them, a few left her dumbstruck and requiring explanations.  Such descriptive names are the ancient fodder of high-school locker rooms which somehow inexplicably remain in the male brain.  To hopefully put this matter to rest,  I'm guessing "hoo-ha" was a little juvenile, and I should have just called Ms. Barnes' groinal area like it was.

Seriously, can you imagine trying to shave this guy while driving a car?  You'd be all over the road!

At any rate, today is a day of great revelation in the world of bike-blogging.  Many of you, like me, enjoy the writings of Bike Snob NYC, who is the sole author and creater of the consummate bike-blog.  As you know, BSNYC has always refrained from revealing his identity and shrouded himself in anonymity.  Many have speculated that BSNYC is someone very popular and well-recognized within the cycling community, and as such, may have been hiding in plain sight since he started his now infamous blog in 2007.  Today, both the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal have released his true identity and it has come as a bit of shock to the cycling world:

BSNYC: Mario Cipollini

I'm joking....The Wall Street Journal is reporting that BSNYC is Mr. Eben Weiss, former bike messenger, amateur racer, literary agent and full-time writer.

Mr. Weiss will soon be releasing a new book, so believed it was time to step out of the shadows to more appropriately and effectively promote his literary work.  As the news agencies have picked up the story of his revealed identity, more details are emerging about who this mystery man really is.  Long-time readers of his blog will know of course that BSNYC says he is helped by his "shop monkey" named Vito.  Many have assumed that this 'helper' is his wife, girlfriend or partner.  Based on what we are reading in the papers today though, the possibility exists that Bike Snob may actually be a polygamist.

The Wall Street Journal claims that his wife is one Sara Goodman:

Whereas The New York Times claims he is married to Tamara Peterson:

Of course the other possibility is that Ms. Peterson is an ex-helper monkey.  Such is the dreaded speculation from which sweet anonymity provides avoidance, so let us hope that Mr. Weiss' trip out of the closet will not change his insight or writing prowess as he loses a bit of privacy.  Mr. Weiss has admitted that he never wished to remain anonymous forever, and prior to yesterday's big coming out party, Bike Snob would occasionally allow the release of various photos of himself, always with his face obscured, hinting at brief glimpses of his true persona.  In the spirit of Bike Snob's revelation I too have felt the pull of wishing to disclose a bit more about myself.....so have enclosed below a picture the GEEC took of me last evening wearing my favorite t-shirt which I donned in honor of yesterday's post.

(Many think the cycling beaver is an endangered species because of razor-happy people like Ms. Meghan Barnes, but I for one will continue to fight for their protection and preservation!) 

Seeking Sponsorship: Don't make me put on my leprechaun costume again!

Today, of course, is St. Patrick's Day which essentially means that even if you are of Hungarian descent, you can claim to be 1/8th Irish so that you can go the bar, get ripped on green beer, and somehow justify dressing like a leprechaun hooker if the mood so strikes you.

Yes, the elusive leprechaun, who must give up his pot of gold if he is caught, has fueled the dreams of many a treasure seeker.  That certainly was the case recently in Alabama where citizens believed they had one cornered in a neighborhood tree.

Of course, I don't subscribe to such tomfoolery, and instead adhere to my own annual day St. Patty's ritual.  After waking up at 10 or so, I eat my weight in Lucky Charms and Guinness, and then cast aside my fez and don my own leprechaun costume, at which point I mosey down to the Flat Branch where I tend bar and offer up St. Patty's Day shots specials to all the fine ladies.

St. Patty's Day, 2008

I know this may reek of debauchery, but this blogging gig doesn't exactly have the money pouring in, and I need a way to secure my future.  Other formerly non-paid cycling-bloggers have recently taken to the endorsement of products and allowed actual permanent advertisements on their sites!  Why just yesterday we heard that Bike Snob is now being officially financially supported by "Just Coffee".

I've thus decided to troll a bit for permanent sponsorship myself.  I contacted any number of shops and retail establishments in Columbia to see if anyone was interested, and unfortunately had the portal of rejection slammed in my face at every turn.  Seeing what luck the Alabama leprechaun brought those fine folks got me thinking that perhaps I should try to outsource my financial backing, so I've chosen to look southward.  Now, I've not sealed the deal yet, but I'm certainly courting one establishment in the fine town of Auburn.

I know they don't have much to do with cycling, but they are the purveyors of some really fine fez-work.

And anyway, aside from most cyclists loving good coffee, what does "Just Coffee" have to do with bikes?  They're not even from New York, but rather based in Madison, Wisconsin.  Oh well, they actually look like a pretty cool company.

Ah well - until somebody steps up and wants to lend a PooBah a hand, everyone can come down to the Flat Branch tonight and see me...I'll be serving up 'cement mixers' to anyone wearing a green thong.  By the way  - let me know if you spot the leprechaun, I need to know 'where da gold at'.  Here's what he looks like.

Everything old is new again

Does anyone remember the 1975 TV special, Rudolph's Shiny New Year?  It was a sequel to the original Rudolph stop-motion televion show, in which Santa is a major ass-clown to Rudolph because of his nasal rouge colorway, resulting in him running away.  Well, in the sequel, Rudolph just returns from the infamous Christmas eve present run, (during which he is forced to swallow his pride and be harnessed and whipped by the jolly bitch), to be asked by Father Time to help find Baby New Year (named Happy), who has similarly bolted because he was being ridiculed for his large ears. (Where in the hell was the compassion for mild bodily disfigurement in the early 70's, anyway?)  I don't think they should have named him Happy, because I remember him being pretty pissed about the whole ear-thing, and rightly so. 

Anyway, Rudolph picks up an assortment of characters and they go looking for Happy in the Archipelago of Last Years all the while trying to avoid Happy's nemesis, a giant buzzard named Aeon.  In the end, it all works out and old Father Time is replaced with the new Baby New Year, and all that was once old was new again.

Why do I bother mentioning all of this?  Well, so too, is the cycling world finding rejuvenation of some long-standing traditions.  Take for example the changes we've seen over at the beloved BikeSnob NYC's blog.  Remember the old BSNYC's Seal of Disapproval?

Well someone must have been busy over the Christmas break, because look what we were greeted with last week.

Ironically, when I lifted this from BSNYC's blog, I noticed the jpeg's title is 'Seal 2_0' (as in '2.0').  If the irony of this is lost on anyone, I will direct you to a masterful piece of writing in which the illustrious Snob himself mocks the use of the number '2.0' to describe renewed or updated objects or events entitled: Pedal Stroke of Genius: Nonplussed 2.0.  And in case you can't read his new motto, it reads "Omnes Malefici Sugete Meos Testes."  Ye olde PooBah is not so quick on the uptake, but I eventually figured it out without having to use the all poweful Goggle search.  I'm sure you all fared much better in deciphering it.

But BSNYC is not the only one looking to revamp their look as we enter 2010.  French tire-maker Michelin is launching a $20 million advertising campaign to update the look of the iconic Michelin Man into a tire-tossing superhero. 

After doing a little research, I learned that the original Michelin Man was comprised not of car tires but of bicycle tires, and was a bad-ass in his own right.  Here he is smoking a cigar, riding with no hands, and busting a trick move on his fixed-gear.

And here he is again, smoking and making off with a woman in the dark of night through a field of bell jars.  (I don't get the bell-jar thing either.)

Just like BSNYC, the original Michelin Man possessed a latin slogan which was "Nunc est bibendum."  Translation: "Now is the time to drink."  They eventually shortened his slogan to just "Bibendum" which then became his actual name for years.  But instead of liquor, he drank road debris....screws, nails...broken glass.

Long about the time Michelin decided to invest more money into car tire advertisements, and less toward bicycle tires, "Bibendum" changed from a stogie-smoking, nail-swilling, cyclist to a boring dough-boy.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Someone over at Michelin should give him a PBR and slap his ass back on the bike.   Just because things are old, doesn't mean they're not better.

Not to be outdone, we here at COMO CYCO are making some changes for the new year as well.  We've decided to hire an intern.  Despite readership being on the decline, someone has been clicking on the Goggle-placed advertisments for adult diapers like a mad fiend, so we got a nice end-of-the-year kickback allowing us to reinvist the money into the site.  We held some working interviews which were pretty hardcore, if I do say so myself.  We came really close to hiring this guy:

Unfortunately, he outdrank me during lunch and then proceeded to beat me to the top of Easley Hill.  The ship can only have one Captian, Mr. Morrison....sorry. Anyway - everyone knows the best rock and roll-themed Primal jersey is the Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon jersey...so take that weak ass shit someplace else.

We ended up hiring Ricky.  He was pretty much a shoe-in from the moment we saw the photo he enlosed in his resume.  Plus, he was the only other applicant and still rides a triple, so I figure I might be able to take him.

I hope everyone will help me making him feel welcome.  Happy New Year to everyone who happens to read this from time to time.  As ever, thanks for stopping by.  Ride safe and see you in 2010.

Pedal on!

Walking the Fine Line of Bike Smugness

Yesterday I mentioned some of the more popular cycling blogs on the internet, one of which being Bike Snob NYC.  In the most recent edition of Outside Magazine, there is an article on bike commuting in the Culture section in which he provides a short commentary. 

Within the small amount of text they allowed him, the illustrious Snob throws in his two cents in the form of some helpful bike commuting tips under the title heading "Don't be an idiot."  While I agree with the general concept of not being an idiot, and also with many of his tips to avoid idiocy, his first major point left me rather non-plussed, to coin a favorite word of the Maestro himself:

First, let's be clear.  I respect the work of BSNYC as much, if not more, than the next Sidi-wearing, leg-shaving poseur.  So much so that this blog started out being called Bike Snob COMO, as douche-worthy as that now sounds.  Secondly, I'm even OK with elevating his status to the level of 'Blog Maestro' as labeled by the Outside editorial staff.  He is, afterall #2 on the all time cycling blog list.  And while I do agree that in principle, being "smug" can be fairly toxic, and result in "smug clouds" of such ferocity that they are only penetrable by Eric Cartman in deep-sea diving gear,

I still took issue with his statement that "If you think you are doing something special by riding a bike, you're just as toxic [as a V8-driving, earth-fouling fascist]".  Hang on,  I actually do agree with that.  There isn't anything inherently special about riding a bike-is there? But this is exactly what I'm talking about.  Herein lies a conundrum that we as cyclists face...walking the fine line of taking enjoyment in the fact that riding our bikes to work is beneficial for the environment in many ways, and at the same time not being a total ass-hat about it.

Consider this.  Each mile driven solo in a car emits approximately 1 pound of CO2. If your round trip commute to work each day is 10 miles, and you do that 5 times a week for 52 weeks a year, that's in excess of two tons of carbon dioxide you are keeping out of the atmosphere by riding your bike instead of driving a car.  Is this reason enough to think we are better than anyone else?  Certainly not.  But there's also no reason not to recognize the impact that something as simple as cycling to work can have on the environment if more people were doing it.  Unless of course you are riding your bike up to the drive-through window of McDonalds each morning, in which case you are supporting a plethora of other industries not healthy for the environment.  Interestingly, recent articles have outlined that bicyclists are being banned at the drive-through window of fast food chains even in progressive Portland (aka 'Bike-Mecca').  Let's examine one such story more completely and use this as an opportunity to make a smug-ruling on the bike commuter that was supposedly wronged in this scenario.

Sarah Gilbert reports that she was rejected and not served when she took her long-tailed bike which is "festooned with "Love your farmer" and "one less minivan" stickers..." through the drive-through window of a Burgerville in Portland recently. 

I am not a farmer.  But I have it under pretty good authority that farmers could care less if cyclists loved them or not, as long as we were buying beef, or milk, or bread or anything else that will continue to let them make a living the way they want to.  After Ms. Gilbert was rejected at the drive through, she parked her bike at the bike rack, went inside and ordered her food there.  She continues:

She says "I bought hamburgers inside....and then I tweeted...I'd already Googled..."  If I had read this statement 10 years ago, I would been confused, but would have assumed she had eatern her burgers, gotten wicked gas and perhaps shit herself.  But so goes technology, and certainly Twitter is no stranger to cyclists.  The managers of Burgerville apparently offered a full and profuse apology to Ms. Gilbert once they realized the individual working the drive-through window wouldn't serve her, but she still decided to rant on about how she had been discriminated against in her nationally published article.

A couple of questions: 

First - how was she going to eat her take-out while on a bike, anyway?  Holding a coke between your legs is a lot easier in the car than on a bike. And secondly, didn't she get ketchup and mustard all over her iPhone when she was busily tweeting and googling her outrage while macking on her Burgerville burgers?

Ok - so how are we going to call this one?

Yeah - I'm going to throw her a red flag.  This smacks of smugness to me.

What is scarier yet, is when a battle of smugness occurs, such as when one immovable smug force encounters an unstoppable smug object.  Such was the case documented in a recent post on Craigslist.

Titled, "You hit me with your Prius", it says:

"Me - Bicyclist, heading to jury duty on 10th street, Friday at 8:50am.

You - Prius driver, crossing over two lanes, hitting me with your car and speeding away.

I was hoping we could catch up for a cup of coffee, so I could get your views on the environment, and strangle you."

This cyclist may have an air of smugness about herself as she makes a special effort to highlight the fact that she was travelling by bicycle to fulfill a non-work related civic duty.  And the Prius driver is so smug that his hybrid green-mobile doesn't need to stop for hit-and-runs, because that would only compromise the fuel efficiency.  But in a miles-per-gallon throw-down, a 200 pound hypocrite inside a 2 ton, 50 mpg Prius still trumps a 120 pound civic do-gooder on a bike every day of the week.  Physics always wins.  And smugness evaporates pretty quickly when you're about to be run over.

My guess is that most cycling commuters, like me, are also motorists, but yet have a hard time fighting back their sense of righteousness, again like me, if only subconsciously, when passing by a long line of cars emitting their blue exhaust.  But when the first freezing rain comes, it's likely also going to be me sitting in that car fouling the air you breathe when you go riding by me on your way to work - so go easy with the smug look.

Pedal on!

Why We Blog

There is a curious relationship between the desire to ride a bike, be it for purposes of commuting to work, to race, to spin down a tree-lined trail, to lose weight, to dart in and out of traffic with a messenger bag, to smack around a ball with a mallet, or purely as a means of transportation and the desire of cyclists to express themselves regarding the significance (or lack thereof) of their pedaling.    Books have been written, magazines published and movies made about the seemingly simple act of pedaling a bike.  And now, we cyclists have permeated through the blogosphere like a rancid TriBerry-flavored GU gel through a Cat V racing noob.

There are literally thousands of cycling blogs online these days ranging from the purely informative to those that are personal cycling diaries in which daily rides are described with excrutiating detail including miles logged, road conditions, wind direction, what was eaten for breakfast...etc, etc....all documented as though the writer/cyclist is a WWII fighter pilot being debriefed after his mission.  Who reads all of this?

Making sense of all the cycling blogs can be a daunting task.  In fact, the entire purpose of one blog titled www.bikeblogs.com is to categorize, and thereby organize, all of the other cycling blogs.  Consider it your rolodex for cycling blogdom.  For example, referring to bikeblogs.com, you can search the subcategory of single-speed cycling blogs specifically. Within this category, one can find a wide variety of blogs supposedly focusing on singlespeeds that range from the obligatory "I Heart Single Speeds" (iheartsinglespeed.blogspot.com) to the slightly more disconcertingly titled "The One Eyed View From The Saddle" (zekesbiken.blogspot.com).  Regarding the former, I wonder if we could declare a moratorium on the entire "I Heart (insert your favorite obsession here)" phraseology.  I think we all get that "heart" is a cute way to verbalize what is more creatively represented by an actual drawing of a heart meant to represent 'love.'

But we now know that love doesn't originate in the heart, but rather the brain, and a very specific part of the brain in actuality, called the medial insula of the cerbral cortex. I know - the words medula insula just don't seem to work.  "I medial insula you!" Regarding the latter single speed blog mentioned above - I don't really want to know what 'one-eyed view from the saddle' the author is referring to.  However, I'm guessing it describes where his particular feelings of 'love' originate, as opposed to either his medula insula or his heart, for that matter.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, there is a recent post that can help you prioritize the seemingly endless ocean of cycling blogs: the London Cyclist Blog's  list of the Top 50 cycling blogs.  I will spare you the suspense of having to follow the link and just give you the top 3 here:

1. BikePortland.org
2. Bike Snob NYC
3. FatCyclist.com

As we all know by now, Portland is the cycling capital of the US and possible center of the universe, and will therefore henceforth be referred to as Bike-Mecca. Fair enough.  As any self-respecting Mecca, it must have its gospel, thus we will honor BikePortland.org as the most successful cycling blog.  Second on the list is a personal favorite, and role model for the PooBah, the illustrious BSNYC.

In case you didn't know, BSNYC now writes for, among other periodicals, Bicycling and Outside magazines, and has recently secured a book deal.  He gives the entire world of frustrated bike bloggers (present company included) hope that, we too may one day quit our soul crushing day jobs and spend the best hours of our days writing about our obsession.

And that leaves the third most popular bike blog on the list: FatCyclist, represented by a logo including a Clydesdale with the slogan "Heavyweight Horsepower."

FatCyclist is a truly inspired piece of writing from a man who rides to stay alive - originally to assist in his weight loss, and then to help him deal with his wife's battle with breast cancer.  With the assistance of his blog, Team Fatty became the most financially successful LiveStrong Challenge Team ever in that it raised more than half a million dollars for cancer research.  Just two months ago, Elden "Fatty" Nelson lost his wife, Susan, to breast cancer.  The cycling blogosphere came together in a response to the post of his wife's death titled "Don't Say She Lost" with unprecedented solidarity and sensitivity.  If you've never read this particular post - you may want to take a peek.  To date, this singular post has received 2,441 responses and inspired a resurgent campaign of cycling defiance to cancer called "Fight Like Susan" with its own pink Twin Six jersey, perhaps particularly poignant now during breast cancer awareness month:

The reason cyclists blog is no giant mystery.  We like to feel connected.  We like to know those miles we spin mean something and have a purpose greater than just the appearance of the digital numbers on the odometer.  Maybe that purpose is just to stay in shape.  Maybe it's to appreciate a road out in the countryside more than it could ever be appreciated from the inside of a car.  Maybe it's to exert an effort beyond what we thought we were ever capable of.  Maybe it's to let us ride away from those demons that chase us, or to ride toward those goals that lie just ahead.  Maybe it's to help us fight for people we love, like Elden rode for his wife Susan.  But as we ride, we cyclists have the need to talk about our adventures - whether that's over coffee at the half way point, or a beer at the end of the ride or on the pages of a blog on the internet.  In this way, blogging seems to have become as much a part of cycling culture as Saturday morning rides starting from the local bike shop.   Reading a post like Elden's certainly displays that the power of cycling is felt as much in the legs and lungs on the bike as it is in the heart and mind through words.

Pedal on!