Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Everything old is new again

Does anyone remember the 1975 TV special, Rudolph's Shiny New Year?  It was a sequel to the original Rudolph stop-motion televion show, in which Santa is a major ass-clown to Rudolph because of his nasal rouge colorway, resulting in him running away.  Well, in the sequel, Rudolph just returns from the infamous Christmas eve present run, (during which he is forced to swallow his pride and be harnessed and whipped by the jolly bitch), to be asked by Father Time to help find Baby New Year (named Happy), who has similarly bolted because he was being ridiculed for his large ears. (Where in the hell was the compassion for mild bodily disfigurement in the early 70's, anyway?)  I don't think they should have named him Happy, because I remember him being pretty pissed about the whole ear-thing, and rightly so. 

Anyway, Rudolph picks up an assortment of characters and they go looking for Happy in the Archipelago of Last Years all the while trying to avoid Happy's nemesis, a giant buzzard named Aeon.  In the end, it all works out and old Father Time is replaced with the new Baby New Year, and all that was once old was new again.

Why do I bother mentioning all of this?  Well, so too, is the cycling world finding rejuvenation of some long-standing traditions.  Take for example the changes we've seen over at the beloved BikeSnob NYC's blog.  Remember the old BSNYC's Seal of Disapproval?

Well someone must have been busy over the Christmas break, because look what we were greeted with last week.

Ironically, when I lifted this from BSNYC's blog, I noticed the jpeg's title is 'Seal 2_0' (as in '2.0').  If the irony of this is lost on anyone, I will direct you to a masterful piece of writing in which the illustrious Snob himself mocks the use of the number '2.0' to describe renewed or updated objects or events entitled: Pedal Stroke of Genius: Nonplussed 2.0.  And in case you can't read his new motto, it reads "Omnes Malefici Sugete Meos Testes."  Ye olde PooBah is not so quick on the uptake, but I eventually figured it out without having to use the all poweful Goggle search.  I'm sure you all fared much better in deciphering it.

But BSNYC is not the only one looking to revamp their look as we enter 2010.  French tire-maker Michelin is launching a $20 million advertising campaign to update the look of the iconic Michelin Man into a tire-tossing superhero. 

After doing a little research, I learned that the original Michelin Man was comprised not of car tires but of bicycle tires, and was a bad-ass in his own right.  Here he is smoking a cigar, riding with no hands, and busting a trick move on his fixed-gear.

And here he is again, smoking and making off with a woman in the dark of night through a field of bell jars.  (I don't get the bell-jar thing either.)

Just like BSNYC, the original Michelin Man possessed a latin slogan which was "Nunc est bibendum."  Translation: "Now is the time to drink."  They eventually shortened his slogan to just "Bibendum" which then became his actual name for years.  But instead of liquor, he drank road debris....screws, nails...broken glass.

Long about the time Michelin decided to invest more money into car tire advertisements, and less toward bicycle tires, "Bibendum" changed from a stogie-smoking, nail-swilling, cyclist to a boring dough-boy.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Someone over at Michelin should give him a PBR and slap his ass back on the bike.   Just because things are old, doesn't mean they're not better.

Not to be outdone, we here at COMO CYCO are making some changes for the new year as well.  We've decided to hire an intern.  Despite readership being on the decline, someone has been clicking on the Goggle-placed advertisments for adult diapers like a mad fiend, so we got a nice end-of-the-year kickback allowing us to reinvist the money into the site.  We held some working interviews which were pretty hardcore, if I do say so myself.  We came really close to hiring this guy:

Unfortunately, he outdrank me during lunch and then proceeded to beat me to the top of Easley Hill.  The ship can only have one Captian, Mr. Morrison....sorry. Anyway - everyone knows the best rock and roll-themed Primal jersey is the Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon take that weak ass shit someplace else.

We ended up hiring Ricky.  He was pretty much a shoe-in from the moment we saw the photo he enlosed in his resume.  Plus, he was the only other applicant and still rides a triple, so I figure I might be able to take him.

I hope everyone will help me making him feel welcome.  Happy New Year to everyone who happens to read this from time to time.  As ever, thanks for stopping by.  Ride safe and see you in 2010.

Pedal on!


  1. Okay, so I had to figure out what was up with the bell jars in the poster... I found an old WWI photo of British gardeners harvesting lettuce under hundreds of bell jars in a field. Apparently, bell jars make great mini greenhouses when it's cold outside. Great post!