tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69754167147592482892024-03-13T13:18:13.977-07:00Columbia Missouri Cycling CooperativePooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.comBlogger284125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-61484353760149277402012-10-18T14:45:00.000-07:002012-10-18T14:45:13.048-07:00We've moved!This old blogger site has served us well over the past several years, and it's not without a hint of sadness that I bid it a fond fare-the-well. But the blog site has become much like what happens to my favorite jeans every November - I outgrow them!<br />
<br />
In the attempt to deliver more local Columbia cycling content from a number of different writers, cyclists, advocates and athletes, we've developed a more robust format. <br />
<br />
We'll leave this site up for the sake of nostalgia - but please come visit us overe here from now on:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://comocyco.com/"><span style="color: blue;">http://comocyco.com/</span></a><br />
<br />
Cheers!<br />
<br />
PooBah, GEEC & PicklePooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-71810409147945868402012-10-17T12:45:00.000-07:002012-10-17T16:02:24.829-07:00The right thing: Just do it.By now, everyone has heard of the continuing fallout of the Lance Armstrong scenario. Anymore - reading the cycling news is like watching a flock of vultures picking over a carcass. And I continue to be guilty of said scavenging as well. To that end, I remind you of the Nike commercial featuring Lance from 2001:<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="308" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MIl5RxhLZ5U?rel=0" width="410"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
Fast forward to today and the <a href="http://www.nikeinc.com/news/nike-statement-on-lance-armstrong"><span style="color: blue;">statement</span></a> that Nike issued on their website:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>"Due to the seemingly insurmountable evidence that Lance Armstrong participated in doping and misled Nike for more than a decade, it is with great sadness that we have terminated our contract with him. Nike does not condone the use of illegal performance enhancing drugs in any manner. Nike plans to continue support of the Livestrong initiatives created to unite, inspire and empower people affected by cancer."</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I wonder what they want in return. A medal? Are they suddenly expecting us to think they actually have integrity? Let's remember that Nike signed football star Michael Vick <strong><em>after</em></strong> he had been arrested and found guilty of running a dog fighting ring....<a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Michael-Vick-and-Nike-join-forces-once-again?urn=nfl-wp3100"><span style="color: blue;">the first time in the history</span></a> of sports marketing that a company dropped an athlete from their brand and then signed them back. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
As I was listening to the presidential debate last night, one question posed to the candidates was "<em>How can we keep American companies from sending jobs overseas." </em>One answer I was looking for was not uttered by either candidate - and in reality, probably doesn't exist: Convince highly successful American companies that NOT outsourcing their manufacturing to China, Indonesia and Vietnam (I'm talking to you Nike), where the law prohibits workers from forming independent trade unions and protective labor laws are unenforced, is actually patriotic - it's the right thing to do. Convince them that even though this will reduce their profit margin, they will still be able to grow rich and would simultaneously put Americans to work - it's the right thing to do. When was doing the right thing ever synonymous with doing the easiest thing? Doing the right thing is hard......kind of like<strong><em> not doping</em></strong>. I say this at the risk of sound ridiculously naive, I realize. But how much money does Phil Knight really need, anyway? So much that he endorses a torturer of animals? So much that he condones Indonesian child sweat shops? So much that he indirectly bankrolled the largest, most systematic doping program in the history of sport?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I guess it should not be surprising, therefore, that one of Nike's recent <a href="http://adsoftheworld.com/media/dm/nike_new_clubs_sponsorship_colorado_blood"><span style="color: blue;">ad campaigns</span></a> for a soccer jersey for the Sport Club International was delivered in some very unique and crazy expensive packaging:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Cv-TwRuZ_UE/UH8DWCm0IXI/AAAAAAAAEQ4/jUqhWF93_v8/s1600/blood1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Cv-TwRuZ_UE/UH8DWCm0IXI/AAAAAAAAEQ4/jUqhWF93_v8/s400/blood1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong><em>"COLORADO BLOOD: When a team enters the pitch, every fan wants the players to give their blood, sweat and tears for the club. That's what inspired Nike for the launching of the new jersey of Sport Club Internacional. Known as Colorado (the red team), the red of its famous jersey was presented inside a blood bag."</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DcgL51njU4c/UH8D2Nt_ARI/AAAAAAAAERA/IPEsfJ59BQ8/s1600/blood2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="395" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DcgL51njU4c/UH8D2Nt_ARI/AAAAAAAAERA/IPEsfJ59BQ8/s400/blood2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Opening the box reveals an IV bad surrounded by plastic 'ice cubes'.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TY9fL7R5zeg/UH8ECGcNKlI/AAAAAAAAERI/UlrZh8us9Dc/s1600/blood3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="351" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TY9fL7R5zeg/UH8ECGcNKlI/AAAAAAAAERI/UlrZh8us9Dc/s400/blood3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And within the IV bag is a red jersey, with Nike swoosh.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-83uvzvmPNtg/UH8EHSbK4DI/AAAAAAAAERQ/ewCeZiGP9es/s1600/blood+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-83uvzvmPNtg/UH8EHSbK4DI/AAAAAAAAERQ/ewCeZiGP9es/s400/blood+4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong><em>"MANIFESTO: If there is one thing that identifies us, it is blood. Blood is what makes our hearts beat. It is what keeps us alive. Blood carries our history. Every win, every tear, every trophy is there. And trophies abound for those who have won everything....."</em></strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Indeed, "<em>blood does identify us</em>...." just ask Jan Ulrich, Ivan Basso, Frank Schleck and every other Operacion Puerto cyclist.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
All Nike proved by dropping their endorsement for Lance was that they were the first rat to jump from the deck of the sinking ship. Soon after they bailed - <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/cycling/2012/10/17/lance-armstrong-stepping-down-as-chairman-of-his-livestrong-cancer-fighting-charity/1638341/"><span style="color: blue;">RadioShack followed</span></a>. Interestingly, at the time of this writing, the Lance Armstrong website still listed them both as sponsors. Well if anyone is interested in playing a little doping bingo - I've attached a board below for you to play along....Any guesses as to which company is next?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Sl2SQl5IF9M/UH8GDQ3v-nI/AAAAAAAAERY/1plp9wiIjiA/s1600/LA+sponsors2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="398" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Sl2SQl5IF9M/UH8GDQ3v-nI/AAAAAAAAERY/1plp9wiIjiA/s400/LA+sponsors2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Nike's abandonment not only opens the door for other sponsors to follow suit, but it nearly commands it if the others want to feign '<em>integrity</em>' as well.<span style="color: red;">***</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Here's the kicker in my household....The GEEC loves Nike shit....she just ran the Chicago marathon in a great Nike running shirt. I know she must grow tired (as I'm sure many of you have) of me bitching and moaning about all the facets that emerge surrounding this issue on a daily basis, so when she heard me complaining about Nike the other evening, she really looked weary and asked, <em>"Is Nike on the shit-list too?" </em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I told her it's probably best to ignore me for a while...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red;">***</span> <span style="color: red;">Addendum: Well, today ended up being a little like dominoes in the world of LA sponsorship abandonment. In case anyone needs a refresher to their board, you can check out the COMO CYCO Tumblr site - or look below. Hope everyone had fun playing! There are still three open spaces....(We're looking at you Oakley, SRAM and Johnson!)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6dM8Pq2hy6A/UH84rF9vMGI/AAAAAAAAESE/ED-0jJyEC3w/s1600/LA+sponsors8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="398" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6dM8Pq2hy6A/UH84rF9vMGI/AAAAAAAAESE/ED-0jJyEC3w/s400/LA+sponsors8.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6dM8Pq2hy6A/UH84rF9vMGI/AAAAAAAAESE/ED-0jJyEC3w/s1600/LA+sponsors8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
</a><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"></span> </div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-4675828171041789872012-10-16T13:09:00.000-07:002012-10-16T13:21:24.917-07:00Changes are coming!Monday morning, we awoke to a world far different than the one we left last week. Something so monumental happened over the weekend, that our very definition of humanity has been forever changed. You may think I'm referring to the man who rode in a helium-filled balloon 24 miles into the sky to the very edge of space, hurled his body out of it toward the earth and in so doing broke the speed of light with his own person, and little else, as reported by MSNBC.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hF1ZqbwNOdE/UH2rLWzd0PI/AAAAAAAAEOs/L9g8UjhkEaw/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hF1ZqbwNOdE/UH2rLWzd0PI/AAAAAAAAEOs/L9g8UjhkEaw/s400/untitled.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
There is the little grey blip of Fearless Felix as he became the first man in history to travel faster than the speed of light. Of course that can't actually be Felix in that image, because travelling the speed of light means he traversed those 24 miles in a shorter time than what the human eye could even perceive - so that must be the turd he shat shortly after he realized he was going a whole lot faster than the speed of sound, which is what the physics professors told him he would achieve. What an effing doper. This is the kicker with doping - if you're going to do it, you have to learn to throttle back on your performance or it just looks too obvious! Lord knows how many 'red eggs' his Red Bull was spiked with.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
No, the real sporting achievement I'm speaking of this past weekend was from this guy:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-78TUI9_O9zk/UH2tDFgNW2I/AAAAAAAAEO0/We77nHzvhhg/s1600/flipflop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-78TUI9_O9zk/UH2tDFgNW2I/AAAAAAAAEO0/We77nHzvhhg/s400/flipflop.jpg" width="243" /></a></div>
<div style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Keith Levasseur</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
According to <a href="http://news.runnersworld.com/2012/10/15/man-runs-246-marathon-in-flip-flops/"><span style="color: blue;">Runner's World</span></a>, Keith Levasseur ran Saturday's Baltimore Marathon in 2:46:58.....wearing flip flops. An in so doing, he set a World's Record for fastest marathon time in flip flops. Now, many of you will scoff at him being awarded notoriety and fame for running a marathon in inappropriate footwear - but I disagree. You see, chasing such records is what allows people like Keith and me to feel relevant in an overly-competitive society. Let's face it, Keith was never going to be able to break a world record marathon time in normal footwear. Just like I could never break the hour record in cycling. But I bet I could set the hour record wearing nothing more than a diaper - but only because nobody else has ever done it! In fact, I've employed the help of the entire COMO CYCO team to help me in this endeavor. I will keep you all posted on my progress....</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Has anything major happened in the world of cycling recently, however? Not much.....except that Levi Leipheimer got fired from Omega-Pharma-QuickStep for admitting he doped by a team manager (Patrick Lefevere) who was a doper himself (how's that for ironic). </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-C6Kys0tLgMs/UH20ZOXCABI/AAAAAAAAEPg/FI426uY97E4/s1600/article-2218602-15836FCE000005DC-613_306x465.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-C6Kys0tLgMs/UH20ZOXCABI/AAAAAAAAEPg/FI426uY97E4/s400/article-2218602-15836FCE000005DC-613_306x465.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Oh yeah and Nike is <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/i-team/nike-left-footprint-lance-scandal-article-1.1184431"><span style="color: blue;">under suspicion</span></a> for paying half a million dollars to Hein Verbruggen to cover up Lancie's positive EPO test at the 2001 Tour de Suisse...I wonder what's going to happen this Saturday when Nike and the Livestrong Foundation are sponsoring the University of Texas' "<a href="http://www.oregonlive.com/playbooks-profits/index.ssf/2012/10/nike_stands_by_lance_armstrong.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter"><span style="color: blue;">cancer awareness game against Baylor</span></a><span style="color: blue;">"</span> broadcast on ABC during which Nike and Livestong will be making a presentation and the 17,000-seat student section are all supposed to be wearing Livestrong T-shirts Nike has made for the game in vibrant Lance Yellow #7. If there is a better example of a three-way mutual circle jerk on the planet this Saturday, please somebody, let me know.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
But honestly, Lance should not despair. According to a<a href="http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0046774"> <span style="color: blue;">new study</span></a> just published, testosterone administration substantially reduces lying in men:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N3WBU5qTdAg/UH3AHJetbRI/AAAAAAAAEQM/j78axVCT95s/s1600/testosterone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="93" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N3WBU5qTdAg/UH3AHJetbRI/AAAAAAAAEQM/j78axVCT95s/s400/testosterone.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So I imagine with all the T he loaded up on over the years, it's just any day now before Lance's mouth is going to open up and he's going to start vomiting the truth for like a month straight. But afterwards he's going to feel so much better. Just like Tyler said, the truth is going to set him free. Well actually he will probably go to jail - but you know what I mean.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And with all of these monumental developments in the sporting world, I think it is appropriate that I make the announcement that the COMO CYCO site is on the brink of some major changes that I'm very excited about. Very soon, we will be shedding the world of blogging like a wet, sandy chamois at the end of a long gravel ride, and embracing the world of real websites. To this end, I feel very fortunate to announce that I've <strike>coerced</strike> assembled some of COMO's finest writing-cyclists to start contributing regular content to the new site, which will cover a wide range of topics - all things cycling here in Columbia. We will also be soliciting articles from you - the COMO cycling tifosi.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My partner in crime, the lovely GEEC, is working tirelessly to get the new site up and running, by which I mean she paid the 18 bucks required to secure a domain name with my credit card last night and looked at some different fonts for the header before she ate some cookies and fell asleep. But hey, it's a start! We already have a great race report for last weekend's Burnin at the Bluff that we are eager to post - so please stay tuned, kids. Great things are on the horizon.</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-70469075667054840922012-10-12T11:44:00.000-07:002012-10-12T11:55:42.854-07:00Deliverance<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A lot is being written about the “bravery” of all the
cyclists who have come clean the past couple of days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And a few are dismissing this so-called
bravery, because in all honesty, most of these guys came clean because they had
to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Feds had tracked them down and
put them on the spot and asked them point blank: “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Did they or didn’t they?”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And lying to the Feds meant jail time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Admission under the threat of punishment is not necessarily a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mea culpa</i> in my opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think most, if not all, would have been
just fine taking their secrets to the graves with them, either because of shame
for what they’d done or not wanting to risk the loss of a job, or more likely,
both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who’s to blame them for wanting to
keep their secrets?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t each of us
have embarrassing secrets we prefer no one ever found out about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As cycling fans, we have this odd relationship with those we
watch and cheer on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t know these
people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We cannot understand what
motivates them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet we heap expectations
on them and request acts of heroic proportions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And then we put them on pedestals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When we find out that they cheated to achieve such amazing feats we are
left with three choices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>#1) Forgive and
forget, #2) Not forgive, and not forget, and #3) Walk away from the whole
stinking mess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do I rationalize
forgiving Christian VandeVelde, for example while mentally persecuting Lance Armstrong (which,
I admit, is <em>exactly</em> what I’ve done.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve met Christian several times – even ridden
with him – and he seems like a super nice guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I listened to Armstrong speak once in Rolla, MO back when I was the
biggest LA fanboy I knew, and I came away from his talk thinking he was an
arrogant prick after he made some insult about the size of Rolla and refused to
let a woman with cancer come up and hug him on stage during the Q and A. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I was too scared to say how I felt because
everyone else loved him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But do I know
either of these guys?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Absolutely
not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do I make sense of the
categorization my brain does automatically and without conscience thought:
Christian is a good guy, Lance is a shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Partly because I could honestly care less at this point if they doped or
not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s more about how they have dealt
with their decision and the fact that it now has become public knowledge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Part of what defines character is how you
respond to adversity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Speaking of which, several years ago, I got to spend the day with Floyd
Landis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was put in charge of organizing
a benefit to raise money for osteoarthritis research, and was charged with
coming up with a keynote speaker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Floyd
had been found guilty of doping, had served his 2 year sentence and was then
making his comeback racing for Ouch/Maxxis on an artificial hip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was before he would make his full
confession in the Wall Street Journal article. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the time, I believed he was innocent of the
doping charges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I contacted Team Ouch
and three phone calls later had somehow managed to secure him as the speaker
for the event through his agent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
never asked, but I guaranteed there would be no talking about doping, him
winning, or not winning the Tour de France, or Lance Armstrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We just wanted to hear about what it was like
to be a professional bike racer who performed with an artificial hip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We made the public announcement that he was
coming to speak at the event and I immediately got a couple of derogatory
emails about the appropriateness of hiring a ‘doper’ as a speaker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stood my ground, defended Floyd, and the event remained
scheduled as planned.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The day of the benefit, I had to pick him up at his hotel
and take him to lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There would be
four of us going – and we were to eat at the winery in Rocheport – a 30 minute
drive away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I met him and his agent
in the hotel lobby, I was nervous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
rounded the corner suddenly and came right up to me and said, “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hey,
I’m Floyd</i></b>” and shook my hand really, really strongly with a huge smile
on his face, and I relaxed almost immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I asked him if he and his agent would like to ride separately in their
larger rented car, following us out to Rocheport, since it was a long drive,
and I only had my Subaru Outback.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
said “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hell no – I can fit in the back seat – let’s go</i></b>.” So I drove to
Rocheport with Floyd Landis in the back seat of my Subaru.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somewhere along I-70 I came to the
realization that this was one of the most surreal experiences of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here was the man I watched ride solo and win
Stage 17 of the 2006 Tour de France in what many have called one of the single
greatest days of bicycle racing ever, sitting in my back seat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The word ‘bizarre’ doesn’t come close to
describing how I felt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got to the
winery and Floyd asked if I rode.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
laughed it off, but he asked again and I confessed I was just a Cat 5 choade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He asked me more about where I had ridden –
out west?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Overseas?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told him I had done both – ridden the
Copper Triangle in Colorado and gotten to meet Davis Phinney through a mutual
friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He asked how Davis was – if I
had been able to notice any evidence of the Parkinson’s he is affected by.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He complemented him on being a truly amazing
cyclist and a great guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told him
about how on the descent of Fremont Pass, the freewheel hub of my Mavic Ksyrium
Elite had started squealing like an ape being raped <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and he laughed and told me he had the same
thing happen to him once.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked about
his hip, how he was doing – and he told me the entire story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite what I knew about Johan Bruyneel and
Lance Armstrong largely ignoring his condition and not facilitating him receiving
the appropriate medical attention to have it addressed when he rode for Postal,
he remained respectful of them when speaking about them – although he did recount
a story of Johan demanding he fly to Europe the day after he had two screws
painfully removed from his femur which resulted in a massive hematoma that
extended down his leg, which he would later have to hide from doctors to be
allowed to race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I drove him back to his hotel after lunch, I asked how
his parents were, especially in dealing with the press and aftermath of the
2006 Tour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said they were doing just
fine, and thanks so much for asking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
asked what his Dad did for a living, and he told me about his trucking company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amongst other things, he moves gravel in
large dump trucks, and generally loves his job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was a long pause after this, and he continued <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">You know – sometimes I think
that may be the most basic, and most gratifying job a person could have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Move this stuff here, to that place over
there. Work hard at it, then go home and enjoy the evening with your family.”</b>
</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I liked Floyd.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The benefit that night went incredibly well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Floyd seemed nervous at first during his
talk, but warmed into it, and there was a great Q and A afterward with
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He signed things for people, spent
a tremendous amount of time interacting with folks and posing for
pictures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Basically he gave himself to
all the people that were in attendance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was grateful and relieved that the whole thing had come off so
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I walked him and his agent back
out to their car, he shook my hand firmly again and told me to give him a ring
if I was out in San Diego; that we’d go for a ride.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The next year, he would confess to doping throughout his
career, and to having done so under the direction of Johan and Armstrong on
Postal, and then on his own with Phonak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He was called a “rat” and a “liar” by cycling fans and ostracized from
the sport by commentators, fans, other cyclists.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had previously accepted money for his
legal defense knowing he was guilty all the time – and people were upset with
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But in my estimation, they were
more upset that he was now calling Lance Armstrong a cheat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lance defended himself by saying Floyd was mentally
unstable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(In retrospect, I’m thinking
you’d have to be somewhat mentally unstable to race at that level at that time.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But from my day with Floyd, my impression was
that he was as down-to-earth and genuine as a person could be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the midst of Floyd being singled out by virtually
everyone, none of his former teammates that also doped came to his defense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hamilton, Vaughters, Zabriskie, Hincapie, VandeVelde….they
could have spoken up and said, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hang on –
he’s telling the truth</i>.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they
didn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was positive incentive, to
be sure: defending a friend, telling the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But they would also be certain to lose 2 years of their career and
undergo the same smear campaign from the Armstrong camp (see Hamilton, Andreus,
O’Reilly, Anderson, LeMond etc) – and maybe they would never be able to race again at the level they wanted to,
like Floyd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They circled the wagons, remained
silent and protected themselves, and Armstrong indirectly. Now each has
admitted to doping – under the threat of jail time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Floyd was right all along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As was Hamilton.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As was LeMond and the Andreus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has kind of played out like a movie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the topic of movies, Dave Zabriskie was
recently <a href="http://velonews.competitor.com/2012/10/analysis/opinion-of-a-mess-dignity-and-grace_260714"><span style="color: blue;">quoted</span></a> as saying that the movie “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Breaking
Away</i>” inspired him to become a cyclist, and that’s what good movies do, “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">They
inspire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make us believe we can do
things and believe things</i></b>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I also think a good movie makes you ask yourself “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what would I do</i>?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like every time I watch the movie <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Deliverance</i>, I ask myself, ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Would I bury that body deep and paddle on?</i>’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">‘Would
I go to the police and say it was self-defense?’ </i>And every single time, I
think to myself, I’m burying that body deep and paddling my ass down the
river pronto.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the movie version of the
cycling saga that has played out for us all to watch, I play the same game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d like to think I wouldn’t have doped – but
I probably would have (remember - bury that body deep and tell no one).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I also like to think I would have
confessed for the purpose of standing up for a friend instead of just to save
my own skin. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But who knows?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’d still like to take Floyd up on that bike ride.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I still think Christian is a good guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I still think Lance is a shit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bISxWYi71WY/UHhkYGBU-4I/AAAAAAAAEOA/yo4_nZ7L5ZQ/s1600/DSC_4961.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="382" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bISxWYi71WY/UHhkYGBU-4I/AAAAAAAAEOA/yo4_nZ7L5ZQ/s400/DSC_4961.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-29769205978406617522012-10-10T12:20:00.003-07:002012-10-10T12:20:49.394-07:00Not even close to being ready to move on....I've been travelling almost non-stop for work-related reasons for about a month now. Today, I had planned to write about some big changes I've been planning for the site, but then of course a massive turd-grenade just exploded in the cycling news. (Thanks Travis for effing up my big self-thrown welcome home party! I was going to run around COMO CYCO headquarters in my tighty whiteys and get drunk on jello-shots - but not <em>now</em>!) So, rather than blather on about that, or anything else, I will leave you all to read up on the goings-on regarding those US pros who many of us have followed so closely for the past couple of decades and what they were up to if you so choose. Here is a link to the USADA decision they have issued to the UCI: <a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B9YzclxcT0NHNHNQTUV4MkpSSWc/view?sle=true"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><span style="color: blue;">.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-02DqwoDu3bU/UHXDbUs6-uI/AAAAAAAAENc/oQ6udwedL5o/s1600/Lance-Armstrong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-02DqwoDu3bU/UHXDbUs6-uI/AAAAAAAAENc/oQ6udwedL5o/s320/Lance-Armstrong.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I'd like to think that one of most corrupt athletes the world has ever seen has finally been exposed for what he is with all the proper evidence, and the house can now be cleaned. But I think the corruption will run a bit deeper yet. More specifically, I will wait to see how Nike, Oakley, Michelob and Trek will respond to today's news. I know the answer already - and I don't know why I will let it surprise me, but it will all the same. I expect he will deploy full cancer shield and suggest we (I) are all pathetic for living in the past as he suggested in his recent interview with <a href="http://lavamagazine.com/features/armstrong-to-detractors-its-their-drama-not-mine/#axzz28vOPm100"><span style="color: blue;">LAVA magazine</span></a>:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>"Yeah, others won’t move on. It’s sad. I’m aware that it’s out there. It’s like, why are you continuing? You got what you wanted; Lance Armstrong never did anything in his life. Great. For some, it’s like, shouldn’t you be out training and focusing on what you’re doing? Fucking move on. So strange."</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I tell you what, douchebag, I'll move on when you do. Own up to it, pay back the money, send back the jerseys, give up your sponsorships.....they are all ill-gotten gains. Apologize to all the people whose lives you wrecked, and ask - no BEG - forgiveness from the team-mates who you expected to lie and risk going to jail for you when questioned by the Feds. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<em>Then</em>, I'll move on......maybe.</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-78104446862344026172012-09-06T14:44:00.000-07:002012-09-06T14:49:34.875-07:00It takes a smack to the head....I've gotten a little banged up on my bike this summer....but despite my injuries and mishaps, I think I still faired better than the chap driving this boat on the Lake of the Ozarks this past weekend (you might have to watch a crummy commerical before it plays).<br />
<object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,47,0" height="270" id="flashObj" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9?isVid=1&isUI=1" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="flashVars" value="videoId=1824508904001&playerID=1684488549001&playerKey=AQ~~,AAAACC1laJk~,tMO2d6O4mickzCfG8Kpt2wQCZRxpuzpo&domain=embed&dynamicStreaming=true" /><param name="base" value="http://admin.brightcove.com" /><param name="seamlesstabbing" value="false" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="swLiveConnect" value="true" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><embed src="http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9?isVid=1&isUI=1" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" flashVars="videoId=1824508904001&playerID=1684488549001&playerKey=AQ~~,AAAACC1laJk~,tMO2d6O4mickzCfG8Kpt2wQCZRxpuzpo&domain=embed&dynamicStreaming=true" base="http://admin.brightcove.com" name="flashObj" width="480" height="270" seamlesstabbing="false" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" swLiveConnect="true" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"></embed></object><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
That guy goes down quicker than a Vegas hooker. </div>
<br />
And speaking of having the world come up and smack you suddenly in the face just when you think you are cruising along fine, comes the story in <a href="http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/vaughters-confirms-past-doping-by-danielson-others-at-garmin"><span style="color: blue;">Cyclingnews</span></a> that Jonathan Vaughters let fly the admission that Tom Danielson had previously doped prior to coming to Garmin while commenting in one of the discussion forums. He also mentioned Christian VandeVelde and David Zabriskie - but rumor had already circulated about them in regards to the USADA case against Lance Armstrong - so the real revelation was the news about Danielson. Actually - this wasn't a revelation to everyone. Kansas racer <a href="http://stevetilford.com/"><span style="color: blue;">Steve Tilford </span></a>responded today in a post saying that he knew Tommy D was juicing all along.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>"I’m not going to rip Jonathan </em>[Vaughters] <em>again for this. He is full of shit. Completely full of shit. I’m going to rip Tom Danielson. Here’s my personal observations and history of Tom Danielson, with a few jabs at Jonathan during the rant, probably. Ever since I heard the guy’s name, Tom Danielson, it has been associated with doping. From square one."</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em></em> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If you would like to read the rest of Tilford's self-titled rant, you can do so over on his blog, where he is entirely entitled to voice his opinion and make comments like..."<em>the guy was a tool</em>," and, <em>"he stuck around the US long enough for just about everyone with any knowledge of the sport to realize he needed to leave our continent,"</em> and my personal favorite, "<em>I'm hoping most of the people in Durango that support cycling think much of the same way I do. Maybe the Durango Herald reporter will feel as strongly as I do and rip Tom a new asshole.....and </em>[he will] <em>decide to move to his little place in Maui instead."</em></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I wish I could get condemned to Maui.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<em></em> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Anyway, many have questioned why Vaughters would "out" VandeVelde, Zabriskie and Danielson with such apparent carelessness, when he himself, got to wait until well after he had retired to pen an op-ed piece and publicly come clean about his own doping past. Obviously, a lot of the who's who of dopers are about to be revealed to the world as part of the USADA's evidence and in Tyler Hamilton's book. And maybe the mention of current Garmin riders was not accidental, but rather all part of a cleverly schemed plan of executing a slow release of admissions of doping in a more casual way, to avoid any single bomb-dropping media event. But if Vaughters <em>was</em> 'drunk dialing' the cyclingnews forum and slipped up by releasing this info, then I think he was out of bounds and really didn't have the right to rob Danielson of his opportunity to come clean if he chose to do so. But, therein lies the problem. To speak of "rights" and "bounds" in the same breath as "admissions of doping" seems a little silly. After all, there is no honor amongst thieves, correct? Well of course there is: hence the omerta....the code of silence. It's pretty clear that if you got busted doping, you kept quiet and served your suspension, and in time, you would be let back into the peloton (see Millar, Basso, Vino, Valverde on and on). But regardless of whether or not you doped - if you sang, you would never work again (see Landis, Jakshe, Bassons, Simeoni). </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Lovely sport, this. The more you learn, the uglier it gets.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Tyler Hamilton was interviewed by <a href="http://www.outsideonline.com/outdoor-adventure/athletes/lance-armstrong/The-Unlevel-Playing-Field.html?page=5"><span style="color: blue;">Bill Gifford for Outside Magazine</span></a> yesterday and was asked the question:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong>BG: Do you miss bike racing?</strong><br />
TH: "Once in a great while I miss the racing, the feeling of winning. That rush. That adrenaline. The rest of the bullshit—no, I don’t miss it. My nephew told me he wanted to be a pro bike racer a couple of years ago, and I felt sick to my stomach, knowing what I do......"</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I keep reading analyses from cycling "experts" about how professional cycling will survive the massive purge of dirty info we seem to be on the brink of learning. Quite honestly, it survives because of dumb-asses like me who continue to read and write about it - looking for some deeper meaning, or greater purpose, or posturing about the "beauty" of the sport. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's kind of like watching the boat video above. A lot of people have commented how dumb those people were to being going that speed, and to be sure, their desire to go fast certainly seemed to trump good judgement. But I'm the one who kept hitting replay to watch it happen over and over again......so who's the biggest dumb-ass?</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-35406797341675800452012-09-05T12:33:00.000-07:002012-09-05T13:17:39.660-07:00Vampires, bitches.....time travelling vampires.Last night at about 10:32 PM, I got an urgent text message from Pickle 2.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>"I just ordered Tyler Hamilton's new book on Kindle. It's going to automatically download as soon as it's released in 28 minutes."</strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong></strong> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Now, some of you may realize that yesterday was the first COMO Cyclocross race of the season. And for me - this was the first competitive type of bikey thing I've attempted since <em>'jacking up my shoulder real good</em>' in July and also obliterating a bone in my little toe about 3 weeks ago while chasing the COMO CYCO dog through the living room. (Who would have guessed that the material properties of my pinky toe bone were no match for the cheap pine that my coffee table leg is constructed of?). The evidence:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q0y7dm2k9P8/UEeNSiP6XpI/AAAAAAAAELM/V5a4DsbAJTY/s1600/bigfoot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q0y7dm2k9P8/UEeNSiP6XpI/AAAAAAAAELM/V5a4DsbAJTY/s400/bigfoot.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So, about the time Pickle was texting me about Tyler's new book, I was soaking in the tub, nursing my bruised ego, my swollen pinky toe, and my deviated collar bone, which these days protrudes so prominently under my skin that it looks like my shoulder is trying to conceal an erection. I responded to Pickle nonetheless:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>"Dude - do NOT stay up all night reading that thing!"</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong></strong> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Pickle replied<strong>, "Can't. Too effing tired from cross. Gonna crash any second!"</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong></strong> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As if we needed more reasons to ride bikes, or race cross, here was suddenly another one staring at me in the face....to escape the bullshit of the real world, if only for a brief time. When you are talentless, weak and have a center of gravity that is way, way, way too fucking high to be taking a downhill off-camber right angle turn over tree roots at full speed, you tend to suddenly not give a shit if Lance Armstrong doped, or what Tyler Hamilton has to say, or if you accidentally left the oven on....you just don't want to go over the handlebars one more time and make the tent that your shoulder is pitching obscenely reveal its inner bone by finally poking on through the skin. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
However, as all things pass with time, so too does the mind-emptying bliss that one can only feel through sheer physical exertion, and slowly we start to re-occupy our brains once again with the news of the day. Such was the case for me this morning when I tried to take a peek at what was going on in the Vuelta. I had heard a rumor that today would be the ultimate showdown between Joachim Rodriguez and Alberto Contador (who were sitting in 1st and 2nd on GC) - and I was eager to catch a little of the action of the end of today's stage. Logging on to Cyclingfans.com, this is the Eurosport feed I got.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eC67dqnuJ4o/UEeSw52DT7I/AAAAAAAAELw/epPvz5ZTQPA/s1600/asian+women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eC67dqnuJ4o/UEeSw52DT7I/AAAAAAAAELw/epPvz5ZTQPA/s400/asian+women.jpg" width="385" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Now, you may not have noticed, but if you look very closely, you will see, coincident with an interview of Alberto Contador, that there is a very subtle commercial for what appear to be a group of Asian women who want boyfriends. This is what is known as subliminal advertising, and has proven to be very effective in gently convincing your brain that you desire something by showing mere hints and glimpses of the subject matter. Regardless, I am generally happy to see Bertie do so well today and to be back in the peloton after having served his doping suspension. This year's Vuelta is proving to be quite possibly the most exciting of all the grand tours this year. Who can be sure, really, if he is juicing now - but regardless of <em>his</em> activities, I will say that that the Asian ladies that I'm being warned "<em>will pursue</em>" me on Eurosport definitely appear to have been on some serious performance enhancing programs.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And speaking of performance enhancers, there is more good news in the Lance Armstrong camp today. First and foremost, a couple of very prominent athletes are speaking out in his defense. The first is former professional baseball player Jose Canseco. You may remember Jose as not only an accomplished designated hitter, but also a professional athlete who admitted to using performance enhancing drugs who wrote a book about it called: <strong><em>Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits and How Baseball Got Big. </em></strong>Well in a <a href="http://www.vice.com/read/jos-can-say-so--lance-armstrong-steroids-and-why-id-become-a-vampire"><span style="color: blue;">recent article</span></a>, he comments on Lance,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"Just leave the guy alone and let him be the best there ever was or will be.....Liquor and tobacco will kill you, and of course they're legal. But steroids, growth hormones, and enhancement chemicals that have the potential to help you live better and longer [are] illegal just like cocaine and heroin. That needs to be changed soon if we want to continue to push the human body to its physical limits."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Well said, Jose. Oh yeah, did I mention Canseco wants to be a Vampire as well?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-S8j6mAot6OQ/UEeZMN7CLrI/AAAAAAAAEMU/pwo--2eYHm8/s1600/JC.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="322" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-S8j6mAot6OQ/UEeZMN7CLrI/AAAAAAAAEMU/pwo--2eYHm8/s400/JC.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"One thing I never understood is why anyone wouldn’t want to be bitten by a vampire. It’s like, what the fuck? Are you kidding me? I’d become a vampire in a heartbeat. They’re immortal, they can fly, and they can time-travel… what’s so bad about wanting to become one? What’s the worst thing that can happen? You have to eat a few people now and then? "</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em></em> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Ever hear of Hep B, Jose? And also - hold the phone for one cotton-picking minute! Vampires can time travel? Since when? And who said anything about them eating people? I don't know, man.....the time travel shit could be cool - but the eating people? Anyway - as if having Conseco's endorsement isn't enough, Lance also got the support of Barry Bonds. The former pro-slugger, who happens to have been recently found guilty of felony obstruction of justice for lying during an investigation into his own steroid use said <a href="http://aol.sportingnews.com/mlb/story/2012-09-04/lance-armstrong-doping-case-barry-bonds-balco-san-francisco-49ers"><span style="color: blue;">this</span></a> of Armstrong just yesterday,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"I think if it wasn't for him, U.S. cycling wouldn't even be here. He was the greatest cyclist of all time."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I couldn't agree more with Bonds on this issue. Marshall "Major" Taylor? Never heard of him. Andy Hamptsen? Chump. Greg LeMond? Overrated. Davis Phinney? Isn't he the father of somebody famous?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8fyJWPX8Wd0/UEelVhBWk4I/AAAAAAAAEM4/9skXJtZcOIM/s1600/5d8553cf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8fyJWPX8Wd0/UEelVhBWk4I/AAAAAAAAEM4/9skXJtZcOIM/s400/5d8553cf.jpg" width="282" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Who the hell is that? Not Lance - that's who.</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Well Jose and Barry aren't alone, apparently. Word in today is that 23 Californian state senators have <a href="http://sd16.senate.ca.gov/sites/sd16.senate.ca.gov/files/USADA%20Letter%20to%20Boxer-Feinstein.pdf"><span style="color: blue;">petitioned the two U.S. Senators from California</span></a> to request a formal review of the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency. The petition never mentions Armstrong, but does say, </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"The United States was founded under the fundamental premise that everyone has the due process right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. To that end, we respectfully request that you call upon the Office of National Drug Control Policy and the appropriate oversight committees of the United States Congress to develop appropriate constitutional protections and conduct a comprehensive review of USADA's operations and finances, with special attention to USADA's unilateral changes in the rules for dealing with athletes who have never failed a drug test."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
What a coincidence! And how timely is it that these Californian senators decided to look into the USADA now of all times. I know what you are thinking....sure Judge Sam Sparks already said that USADA was within its rights to charge Armstrong and is not acting "unconstitutional." And absolutely, Lance waived his right to an arbitration hearing. And yes, Lance agreed, just like everyone in the US who gets their license through USA Cycling, to adhere to the rules of the USADA. But come on....we can bend the rules just a little bit for him - can't we? </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I mean - Jose and Barry said he's cool - so he gets a pass right? Just think of the vampires. The world needs its blood suckers to live in perpetuity, right?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Man - how many days until the next cross race? I need to seriously forget about this shit.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-23748015599604763772012-09-04T10:06:00.000-07:002012-09-04T10:10:11.741-07:00Cyclocross comes to ColumbiaHey there. What are you doing tonight? What if I told you that you could embarrass the shit out of yourself by trying to ride your bike through an illogical maze of barrier tape strewn across a tick-infested field that has been baked in the Missouri sun all summer, and soaked by the remnants of a hurricane all weekend, dismounting to jump over indiscriminately placed pieces of lumber, falling and being trampled by people you once considered your friends, while being relentlessly heckled by complete strangers.....all for five dollars?<br />
<br />
Let me rephrase the question. Do you own a cross bike that you use to leisurely stroll down the KT trail, or to commute to work....or just to look like this guy?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-omUX4tIY2-U/UEYlvueGgoI/AAAAAAAAEKM/jHpm_AVVscs/s1600/mr-portage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-omUX4tIY2-U/UEYlvueGgoI/AAAAAAAAEKM/jHpm_AVVscs/s400/mr-portage.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>(Holy shit - is that Tony Rigdon's long lost twin brother?)</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If the answer to that question is 'yes,' might I suggest that instead of going home after work this evening, you strip the Velo Orange hammered fenders and panniers off of your cross bike and use it the way God intended - as an instrument of self-humiliation! Come race cross tonight! "<em>But PooBah,"</em> you say, <em>"tonight I was going to curl up on the sofa in my Snuggee and sip on a Bartles and James pomegranate wine cooler and watch the Chronicles of Narnia on HBO!" </em>Well if that was your original Tuesday night plan - by all means, please don't deviate. But if you were going to spend the evening paying bills, or fixing the bathroom sink, or getting caught up on some paperwork, skip all of that adulthood crap and come out and play. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NRN56k_VQvw/UEYwbyHyg5I/AAAAAAAAEKs/r11y1kojoVU/s1600/cyclocross_Barton%2520Park_253.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NRN56k_VQvw/UEYwbyHyg5I/AAAAAAAAEKs/r11y1kojoVU/s400/cyclocross_Barton%2520Park_253.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Come on! Doesn't this look like fun???</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Here's the skinny:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Tonight is the first night of a regular Tuesday night 12-week training series in all things Cyclocross right here in Columbia. Yes you heard me right. Here - in Columbia. No driving to Hermann, or St. Louis, or Jeff City. Cyclocross is here. Now. I know, you just got that child-like twinge of excitement that makes you wonder if you have to poop and you have lots of questions:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>Where do I go?</u></strong> Socket Telecom LLC (2703 Clark Lane). <a href="https://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&safe=off&ie=UTF-8&q=socket+columbia+mo&fb=1&gl=us&hq=socket&hnear=0x87dcabf3bb8182c9:0xa011692dbabd6f20,Columbia,+MO&cid=0,0,15202058733765244333&ei=pKQqUPzvK-P7ygHt-4H4Cw&sqi=2&ved=0CHUQrwswAA"><span style="color: blue;">map</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>What the shit is cyclocross?</u></strong> Here is quick tutorial: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYS8i-09vR0"><span style="color: blue;">link.</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>What time? </u></strong>A training session will be held for beginners at 5:30 PM.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>How long are the races? </u></strong>There will be two 20 minute races. Race 1 begins at 6:00PM.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>How much does it cost?</u></strong> $5 if you have a USAC license. $15 if you don't. (It will be worth it to buy an annual license for $60.)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>What do I bring? </u></strong>Yourself, your cross bike, cowbells a camera and a thick, thick skin (and save your race number after tonight!).</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>What do I NOT bring?</u></strong> Your dignity, your typical roadie attitude, and your false allusion that coming in first is actually considered winning.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>What will I win if I <em>do</em> come in first?</u></strong> Most likely a PBR shower, and possibly a kiss on the lips from the unofficial Como Cyclocross podium girl Ethan Froese - depending on what kind of a mood he's in.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>But I literally have no idea what I'm doing!! </u></strong>That's OK - hecklers don't discriminate - everyone will be made fun of equally. And look at it this way, if you are knocked unconscious - then the course just got an extra barrier - so it's a bonus! But if you want to brush up on your Cyclocross knowledge prior to coming out - you can take a refresher quiz <a href="http://www.comocyco.blogspot.com/2011/10/cyclocross-pop-quiz.html"><span style="color: blue;">here</span></a>.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>But won't there be some really good racers there?</u></strong> Absolutely - that's the point. Learn from literally some of the best cross cyclists in the state and come to appreciate the beauty of this sport!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>Where do I go for more information?</u></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Visit the official website here: <a href="http://www.comocyclocross.com/">http://www.comocyclocross.com/</a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
See you tonight, kids.</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-22627597769112276962012-08-30T12:03:00.000-07:002012-08-30T14:49:19.132-07:00And suddenly, nothing happened: Belief and Reverence.So, today I'm pleased to announce that an interesting thing is happening with the "Lance Armstrong" phenomenon. Last Thursday, LA opted to not go through arbitration and discuss the evidence against him, which was his right. USADA subsequently banned Armstrong for life and initiated the process to strip him of all his titles. I feared that this news would bring the end of Lance Armstrong, as we know him, in a great cacophonous demise. But since the day the USADA declared their action, things have been relatively quiet. No anti-Lance protests were noted at the mountain bike race he participated in, nor the marathon he ran the following day. And not a single anti-Lance peep was uttered from the crowd at the World Cancer Congress in Montreal during his speech in which <a href="http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/armstrong-i-won-the-tour-de-france-seven-times"><span style="color: blue;">he actually said</span></a> "<em>My name is Lance Armstrong. I am a cancer survivor. I'm a father of five. And yes, I won the Tour de France seven times</em>."<br />
<br />
I have to be honest. I am amazed he actually said, "<em>My name is Lance Armstrong</em>!" His humility is endearing, but really - how many people there didn't know who he was! So fucking talent.<br />
<br />
In addition, two articles from well-known sports writers have been published this week that are receiving a lot of attention which further demonstrates that Lance isn't going anywhere anytime soon.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FU5ix6cGUB4/UD-eRnFFAMI/AAAAAAAAEII/Os7e9J9izu0/s1600/newsweekcover_08272012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FU5ix6cGUB4/UD-eRnFFAMI/AAAAAAAAEII/Os7e9J9izu0/s400/newsweekcover_08272012.jpg" width="295" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Titled "<em><span style="color: blue;">I</span><a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/08/26/buzz-bissinger-still-believes-in-lance-armstrong.html"><span style="color: blue;"> Still Believe in Lance Armstrong</span></a></em>" by Buzz Bissinger, author of <em>Friday Night Lights</em>.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The headline of the article reads "<em>To hell with the doping charges. Lance Armstrong performed miracles. Stop tearing down our idols. Why I still believe."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<em></em> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The second article that caught my eye was authored by ESPN writer Rick Reilly and is titled "<a href="http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/8310275/armstrong-worth-honoring"><span style="color: blue;"><em>Lance is still worth revering."</em></span></a><em> </em>In his article, Reilly says, "<em>I'm wearing something yellow Friday for Lance Armstrong.....If he cheated in a sport where cheating is as common as eating, then I'm wearing yellow to thank him for everything he's done since he cheated</em>."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
You see, this is the beauty of Lance not arbitrating with the USADA. If he had elected to go forth with a court hearing, he would have been forced to take on USADA all alone (not including the 12 or so ex-Bush administration lawyers he was paying, that is). But now that he has declined the right to arbitrate, everyone else in America can arbitrate <strong><em>for him</em></strong>...not in an arbitration hearing - but in the court of public opinion - where it really matters! And thankfully, we are winning! I just need to decide what I can wear tomorrow that is yellow and that everyone can see easily! I know just the thing....thank God it is in that perfect hue of Livestrong-Nike Yellow:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ub5OEvViQEQ/UD-ormItquI/AAAAAAAAEI4/yxekEWXdpzc/s1600/imagesCA6PRF2I.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ub5OEvViQEQ/UD-ormItquI/AAAAAAAAEI4/yxekEWXdpzc/s200/imagesCA6PRF2I.jpg" width="196" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
However, it is interesting to note from the aforementioned articles that those that support Lance are conceding that he <strong><em>may</em></strong> <strong><em>actually have</em></strong> cheated. But they don't care. And further, neither should you. Why? Because of cancer, of course. What does cancer have to do with cheating, you ask? Well if you have to ask - then you obviously just don't get it.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
But hold on a tic - not all of Armstrong's supporters think he dabbled in the juice. Some actually think there were dark forces, secretly conspiring against Armstrong which ultimately forced him into his current situation. Here's cycling commentator Phil Liggett accusing US Federal Investigators of trying to pay people to lie about Lance Armstrong, thus fabricating a case against him in order to make themselves appear more legitimate (you can fast forward to minute 12:31 to hear the accusation).</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="231" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/VJz4kwm9mXc?rel=0" width="410"></iframe><br />
<br />
And here's a transcription of the juicy bit if you find Liggett's voice akin to someone sticking a dart in you right ear....really deep....then wiggling it around....especially when he says shit like "<em>argy-bargy."</em> (Don't get me wrong - we all love him and want to sit on his lap and listen to him tell us bed time stories with his cute accent.)<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>"Again I come back, why is USADA, which is really a nefarious locals drugs agency in the United States, so intent?</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>Now I can tell you one thing. And I could prove it in SA but I, I went to, I met a chap who worked with Armstrong, err, on Saturday in Boulder Colorado. And he told me that he had a visit, two years ago, err to tell, and the question was, they were agents from a particular agency and, er, they said “<strong>will you tell us that Lance Armstrong took EPO? And we could assure that you will never want for money again</strong>“. That was his quote on Thursday and he told them in words I can’t put on radio what to do with that and they said “I think we’re talking to the wrong man” and they walked away."</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em></em> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Wow - these are serious accusations! I hope his source recorded this alleged conversation - because we can't be expected to just believe this because he said he heard it! Witness testimony is worthless in court from what I hear. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Anyway, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, <em>"Hang on one minute, there PooBah - no way I'm going to let you accuse Phil of making shit up to unilaterally support Lance because of some personal bias!"</em> Well, don't you worry - I never would. Why, everyone loves Phil! He has become the veritable voice of cycling! We trust him like a gentle grandfather that smells of BenGay and Scotch, pays you a quarter to rub his feet and then asks you to pull his finger. No way Phil could be so biased and non-objective on this topic - right? After all, he has always been a stalwart anti-doping advocate. He regularly vilifies any cyclist being found guilty of doping! And he always knows how to remain objective...I mean........oh wait, what's this....</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uayWn0tILZs/UD-lH4fwRqI/AAAAAAAAEIo/NKz6lDhEL_U/s1600/lance_armstrong_phil_liggett_600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="356" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uayWn0tILZs/UD-lH4fwRqI/AAAAAAAAEIo/NKz6lDhEL_U/s400/lance_armstrong_phil_liggett_600.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Ignore this. I'm sure this is a photo of Phil admonishing Lance for something and masking it with a smile and a slap on the back for the cameras. Phil is a bulldog! He's unflappable on the issue of doping - there is no way he could be swayed or persuaded to think Lance wasn't actually.....wait - hang on - what's this?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sQIZX16q_SA/UD-mZ2L2ALI/AAAAAAAAEIw/ek5G6Dd4q3w/s1600/2pophdu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sQIZX16q_SA/UD-mZ2L2ALI/AAAAAAAAEIw/ek5G6Dd4q3w/s400/2pophdu.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Oh shit. Is that Phil sipping on a Starbuck's latte on Lance's personal private jet? Well, so what if it is? All these naysayers are already trying to destroy an American Hero that works miracles. There is no way I'm going to let them take down Phil effing Liggett with them!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
If Lance is discredited as a great cyclist and a humanitarian, America would never survive! Our only heroes in this country are self-absorbed, overpaid athletes! And hardly any of them are cyclists. Without Lance, no one may ever find the inspiration to ride a bike in the US again! People with cancer would lose the will to fight! Wrists around the globe would get cold in the absence of skinny bands of silicone. Nike would lose the opportunity to use a disease to personally profit. So won't you join me in wearing yellow tomorrow? If you don't want to do it for Lance, then at least do it for Nike. Do it for those little kids in Cambodia sewing the Livestrong tags on your new $200 sneakers.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PthS-pNlypk/UD-yzW5o50I/AAAAAAAAEJY/rq12Sw1IwlA/s1600/best-of-livestrong-nike-shoes-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="342" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PthS-pNlypk/UD-yzW5o50I/AAAAAAAAEJY/rq12Sw1IwlA/s400/best-of-livestrong-nike-shoes-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"Smell that shoe. Each one comes with an insole with your choice of a scent mixture already impregnated into it that overcomes your foot odor. Options include 'strawberry-avarice' and 'lilac-anger'.....but my favorite is 'licorice-money."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-53783812133353707602012-08-27T15:23:00.000-07:002012-08-27T15:23:53.282-07:00Learning from the King: racing and jortingOh Google Translate, how I adore you. You are like the Mad Libs of the 21st century...especially when you talk about cycling:<br />
<br />
From the Danish site <a href="http://www.feltek.dk/">www.feltek.dk</a> comes this story of Lance Armstrong's return to bike racing this past weekend - a mountain bike race in Aspen...translated, for our benefit, by Google:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nIvNnWp2p6g/UDvkmOIE23I/AAAAAAAAEHA/L0ym6OOOl1M/s1600/Untitled-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nIvNnWp2p6g/UDvkmOIE23I/AAAAAAAAEHA/L0ym6OOOl1M/s400/Untitled-1.jpg" width="387" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Lance Armstrong got beaten up in Colorado</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong></strong> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Lance Armstrong started his career as a pure amateur athlete in the weekend with a defeat. He lost to a 16-year-old boy in a mountain bike in Colorado.</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><em>While many of the dethroned Tour de France king's old teammates drove U.S. Pro Challenge, also in Colorado, then asked Armstrong to Aspen Snowmass-Power of the Tour is not far away, where he placed second Square and got laesterlige lost to 16-year-old Keegan Swirbul who came in goal 5 minutes before Armstrong.</em></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><em></em></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><em>"Had fun by running Aspen Snowmass-Power of the Tour this morning. Got beaten by the guy who is young enough to be my son. Keegan Swirbul - remember the name," tweeted Armstrong on Sunday afternoon. And despite his earlier assurances that he would no longer comment on his case with USADA, he could not help.</em></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><em></em></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><em>"There is no one should feel sorry for me. I have five great children and a wonderful boyfriend. My cancer fund has not been damaged by this case. In fact, increased donations to the Lance Armstrong Foundation to the 25-double the current level by the end of Thursday night. I can assure everyone that I have a lot to look forward to. I actually have not felt so relaxed the last ten years, as I do now," said Armstrong after the race according to Sportwereld.</em></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><em></em></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><em>He is apparently not very concerned at the prospect that his new career as a professional triathlete is over almost before it had begun.</em></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><em></em></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><em>"It's not about results. I play sports to stay in shape. I enjoy the beautiful landscape and a hard route as here in Aspen. Some might say that it's ridiculous to spend a day off to suffer in this way on a bike. But I've enjoyed it. And I think it's perfectly fine that I'm a young guy who could in reality be my son. He's fucking talent."</em></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's refreshing to hear that despite being beaten up in Colorado, Lance is still relaxed, has come out of the closet and is also somehow his own son. Thank you Google translate. This is the best bit of Lance reporting I've read in a while. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But no matter how relaxed and out-of-the closet LA might think he is - it just simply cannot compare to this guy spotted at the US Pro Challenge yesterday by Velo Magazine editor <a href="https://twitter.com/nealrogers"><span style="color: blue;">Neal Rogers</span></a>:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Y8u04nEvKsk/UDvsWng3yZI/AAAAAAAAEHg/ZvYLTyfc5JY/s1600/A1Qya4SCUAAovzs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Y8u04nEvKsk/UDvsWng3yZI/AAAAAAAAEHg/ZvYLTyfc5JY/s400/A1Qya4SCUAAovzs.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The Lion King - Mario Cipollini, replete with open shirt, aviators and cargo pants. Armstrong could learn a thing or two about how to enjoy retirement from this guy. And while chilling at the Pro Challenge, Cipo even made it his mission to try to reintroduce what has become a quagmire in men's fashion, the ever-tricky jean-shorts, or 'jorts' as they are now called:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fMWqv8f7he4/UDvtbE4-HII/AAAAAAAAEHo/6SqFLvzV8Mc/s1600/643775982.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fMWqv8f7he4/UDvtbE4-HII/AAAAAAAAEHo/6SqFLvzV8Mc/s400/643775982.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Jorts have come and gone in men's summer fashion - but now that Cipo has stamped his oily seal of approval on them, it's only a matter of time before cycling Freds across the country begin to sport them while watching the local crit series and Pearl Izumi attempts to sew a 7 panel chamois into a pair. Witness; the mere presence of Cipo in jorts forces two disembodied hands to appear out of nowhere and reach into a wallet to give Cipo money - for apparently no other reason that to get to stand in his presence! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Come to think of it, Cipo might have learned <a href="http://www.onlineuniversities.com/blog/2010/04/10-highest-paid-public-speakers-in-the-world/"><span style="color: blue;">that trick from Lance</span></a>.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-50233033847952668642012-08-24T10:11:00.001-07:002012-08-24T16:55:05.120-07:00The Lance Armstrong GrapevineSometimes....no actually MORE than sometimes....it's better to shut up and listen to what others have to say and think. I get tired of my own mouth all too frequently which is the main explanation of why I take a hiatus from this blog so frequently. Anyway - today I thought it would be smarter to tell you what other people have been saying over the past 12 hours since the Armstrong bomb dropped rather than trying to put my own spin on it. Check back throughout the day if you feel so inclined, as I will be updating this post as time allows.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jSVzagAeiG0/UDgSXcLohuI/AAAAAAAAEGY/7ivBJyLcwsA/s1600/best-of-livestrong-nike-shoes-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="274" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jSVzagAeiG0/UDgSXcLohuI/AAAAAAAAEGY/7ivBJyLcwsA/s320/best-of-livestrong-nike-shoes-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<strong>Lance Armstrong: </strong><em>"There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say, 'Enough is enough.' For me, that time is now."<span style="color: blue;"> </span></em><a href="http://www.velonation.com/News/ID/12711/Today-I-turn-the-page-Armstrongs-statement-in-full.aspx"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<em></em><br />
<strong>Travis Tygart:</strong> (USADA CEO) <em>"Yes...the charges were not contested, so what automatically goes into place will be a lifetime ban from any participation from any sport which recognises the WADA code and disqualification from all results including any Tour de France victories, any other victories and placings beginning August 1st 1998 to the present." </em><a href="http://www.velonation.com/News/ID/12712/Travis-Tygart-Interview-Armstrongs-results-from-August-1st-1998-will-be-stripped.aspx"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>Sal Ruibal</strong> (Sports Reporter and Mountain Bike Hall of Fame Inductee 2007): <em>"One doesn't dominate one of the hardest sports in the world for so long with a normal ego. Or with normal blood values...Do we expect too much from our heroes? Maybe, but that's why we have heroes. And that's why it hurts when they let us down. I hope Lance is able to find a new path with the help of his family and friends. Truth and reconciliation, in that order. For yourself, not us." </em><a href="http://www.bikemag.com/news/dirty-words-the-miserable-champion/"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<em></em><br />
<strong>Dave Towle</strong> (US Cycling Announcer): <em>"I'm pretty sure the fact that I support @lancearmstrong comes as no surprise. He remains the G.O.A.T. in my eyes. #livestrong."</em> <a href="https://twitter.com/davedtowle/status/239015412900175874"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Jan Ulrich</strong> (former pro cyclist, 2nd place finisher (x3) in the Tour de France, results from 2005-2007 removed by CAS for doping): <em>"I've ended my career and I have always said that I'm proud of my second places. It doesn't really bother me that much." </em><a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/08/24/us-cycling-armstrong-ullrich-idUSBRE87N0MR20120824?feedType=RSS&feedName=sportsNews&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&dlvrit=255506"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Race Radio</strong> (Cycling commentator and blogger). <em>"Congratulations to @weinr (Dave Wein) on winning the 2009 Leasdville 100! Not all of Wonderboy's tainted "victories" go to dopers</em>." <a href="https://twitter.com/TheRaceRadio/status/239004989144580096"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Alberto Contador</strong> (pro cyclist, former LA team mate).<em> "I am not really on top of the case. I do not know if the case is closed or what. All I know is that Lance was like a fortress, intelligent and with a strong head."</em> <a href="http://velonews.competitor.com/2012/08/news/reaction-muted-as-vuelta-learns-of-armstrong-decision_235767"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Frankie Andreu</strong> (former pro cyclist and LA team mate): <em>"Lance fights everything so I'm surprised he chose not to fight the charges. His press release sounds like a broken record repeating the same lines we have already heard hundreds of times from him. USADA has shown some true grit by not backing down from a popular and wealthy athlete - showing that clean sport is a right for every athlete. If Lance really wants to help his foundation and help people with cancer, he should admit to the past, apologize and move forward with a clear conscience." </em><a href="http://nyvelocity.com/content/features/2012/armstrong-wont-fight-usada-case"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>David Walsh</strong> (cycling columnist and author of From Lance to Landis; LA Confidential). <em>"...the investigation should really be much deeper than Lance Armstrong. Who are the people who protected him? Are they still in cycling, are they still controlling cycling? Even the most neutral observer would say that cycling has been incredibly badly served by its leadership.” </em><a href="http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/david-walsh-on-armstrong-and-usadas-charges"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Bernard Hinault</strong> (former pro cyclist, winner TdF '78,'79','81,'82,'85): <em>"I couldn't give a damn. It's his problem, not mine. This is a problem that should have been sorted out 10 or 15 years ago but which never was." </em><a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/cycling/lancearmstrong/9496737/Lance-Armstrong-decides-not-to-contest-USADA-doping-charges-live.html"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Johan Bruyneel</strong> (former pro cyclist and LA director, author of "We might as well win"): <em>"Today I am disappointed for Lance and for cycling in general, that things have reached such a point that Lance has had enough and no longer wants to challenge the US Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) campaign against him. Lance has never withdrawn from a fair fight in his life so his decision today underlines what an unjust process this has been. I hope that it will soon be determined that the case that USADA initiated against me should never have gotten as far as it has." </em><a href="http://www.sbs.com.au/cyclingcentral/news/39095/bruyneel-continues-to-back-armstrong"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LTUpBEHo71k/UDgTCQnSluI/AAAAAAAAEGg/Tlj775YRzsI/s1600/3525592379_7a0802b892.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LTUpBEHo71k/UDgTCQnSluI/AAAAAAAAEGg/Tlj775YRzsI/s400/3525592379_7a0802b892.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<strong>Youngatart1</strong> (commenter on the Livestrong blog): <em>"Lance is a HERO. His achievements are remarkable and deserve a Lot more Respect than he has been getting lately! The bureaucratic legalese of USADA is disgusting, and I am very ashamed to have Any of my tax dollars going to support those jealous jerks. Stay Strong Lance!! I have made another donation today to Livestrong from my limited income in support of him. "</em> <a href="http://blog.livestrong.org/2012/08/23/statements-by-lance-armstrong-foundation-vice-chairman-jeffery-c-garvey-and-leaders-in-the-cancer-community/"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Mary Remuzzi</strong> (Nike spokeswoman): <em>"Lance has stated his innocence and has been unwavering on this position. Nike plans to continue to support Lance and the Lance Armstrong Foundation, a foundation that Lance created to serve cancer survivors." </em><a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/marketbeat/2012/08/24/nike-supports-lance-armstrong-after-doping-ruling/"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>USADA official ruling and statement</strong>: <em>"In addition to the lifetime ban, Mr. Armstrong will be disqualified from any and all competitive results obtained on and subsequent to August 1, 1998, including forfeiture of any medals, titles, winnings, finishes, points and prizes." </em><a href="http://www.usada.org/media/sanction-armstrong8242012"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Kathy LeMond</strong> (wife of Greg LeMond, former pro cyclist and TdF winner (X3): "<em>Finally</em>". <a href="https://twitter.com/KathyLeMond"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8DzlfVVCFEY/UDe_VRioj6I/AAAAAAAAEF4/AZ9CqQcbbJQ/s1600/tumblr_lrqmgaxYIn1qbkovwo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8DzlfVVCFEY/UDe_VRioj6I/AAAAAAAAEF4/AZ9CqQcbbJQ/s400/tumblr_lrqmgaxYIn1qbkovwo1_500.jpg" width="330" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<strong>Travis Tygart</strong> (USADA): <em>"....this is the most witnesses we've ever had in any case come forward."</em> <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/25/sports/cycling/antidoping-officials-move-to-wipe-out-armstrongs-titles.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong>Nike</strong> (Inside the lines; The Nike Code of Ethics): <em>"Compliance with laws and fair dealing: Employees must comply with all applicable laws, rules and regulations. Employees are expected to deal competitively and fairly with others and may not use deception, misrepresentation, or abuse of confidential information to obtain unfair advantage over competitors, suppliers or customers."<span style="color: blue;"> </span></em><a href="http://www.nikeresponsibility.com/report/uploads/files/NIKE_INC_Inside_the_Lines_Nov_2011.pdf"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Jim Ochowicz</strong> (long time LA supporter and friend, BMC coach): <em>He has done so much for our sport over the years and I am sad at what has transpired. I think he has earned every victory he's had."</em> <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/sports/cycling/story/2012/08/24/sp-usada-cycling-lance-armstrong.html"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Floyd Landis</strong> (former pro cyclist and former team mate):<em> "I really don't know what the solution is for the sport of cycling. That's not my issue anymore."</em> <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/sports/cycling/story/2012/08/24/sp-usada-cycling-lance-armstrong.html"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Filippo Simeoni (</strong>former pro cyclist and LA rival): <em>"It leaves me a bit perplexed, because someone like him, with all the fame and popularity and millions of dallors he has, should fight to the end if he's innocent. But I guess he realized it was a useless fight and the evidence USADA had was too great."</em> <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/sports/cycling/story/2012/08/24/sp-usada-cycling-lance-armstrong.html"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong>Lance Armstrong</strong>: <em>"Thanks to all the @LIVESTRONG supporters worldwide. Donations were up 25X over yesterdays. Thank you thank you thank you!" </em><a href="https://twitter.com/lancearmstrong/status/239125253199126528"><span style="color: blue;">link</span></a></div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-470309453236262122012-08-23T10:27:00.000-07:002012-08-23T11:56:52.575-07:00Go flag yourselfWow - what a stage in yesterday's <strong>USA Pro Challenge To Make A Race in Colorado That Has No Mention of the Word Colorado in the Title</strong>! If you were like me, you were watching the race on your work computer in a tiny window covered up by lots of bigger windows opened up to porn websites so that everyone else in the office would think everything was status quo. But I almost gave myself away toward the end of the stage when I started yelling at the computer - which I almost never do when I'm watching porn....other than that one time. Anyway - what a nail biter...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JksNIsKVn-I/UDZChUUNhoI/AAAAAAAAEDo/iBp0R1B3SXY/s1600/2012_usa_pro_challenge_stage3_tom_danielson_wins1a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JksNIsKVn-I/UDZChUUNhoI/AAAAAAAAEDo/iBp0R1B3SXY/s400/2012_usa_pro_challenge_stage3_tom_danielson_wins1a.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.cyclingfans.com/node/6295"><span style="color: blue;">Tommy D</span></a><span style="color: blue;">,</span> barely holding off the chase group for the win!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I know I wasn't alone in my excitement either when I saw what MO State Crit Champ <a href="https://twitter.com/austinjosephv"><span style="color: blue;">Austin Vinton</span></a> Twatted in this Tweet:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center">
If Tommy D wins this I will swallow a garmin whole<br />
— Austin V (@austinjosephv) <a data-datetime="2012-08-22T21:13:15+00:00" href="https://twitter.com/austinjosephv/status/238383355622723584">August 22, 2012</a><br />
</blockquote>
To which I responded:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center" data-in-reply-to="238383355622723584">
<a href="https://twitter.com/austinjosephv"><s>@</s><b>austinjosephv</b></a> Upload the data to Strava - I want to see if the transit time of your GI system is as fast as mine. <a href="https://twitter.com/search/?q=%23KOMturdmaker"><s>#</s><b>KOMturdmaker</b></a><br />
— COMO CYCO POOBAH (@COMOCYCO) <a data-datetime="2012-08-22T22:02:15+00:00" href="https://twitter.com/COMOCYCO/status/238395686603862017">August 22, 2012</a><br />
</blockquote>
Well, this must have hacked Mr. Vinton off, because he sent me an email challenging me to a race. And, I'm happy to announce I took Austin up on his challenge of going mono a mono, (or colon a colon as the case may be) - and after a lengthy discussion between his agent and my agent to get the details sorted out - a gastrointestinal match sprint commenced last evening. Both he and I swallowed our Garmin 500s precisely at 6:00 PM. Upon retrieving them this morning (mine after three espressos and a bear claw), we uploaded the data to Strava. Here's Austin's mapped segment:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BvTD-RiHV88/UDZIt5GBgmI/AAAAAAAAEEI/d6OA68mETeo/s1600/austin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BvTD-RiHV88/UDZIt5GBgmI/AAAAAAAAEEI/d6OA68mETeo/s400/austin.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
GI transit time: 11 hours, 32 minutes</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And my data:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VtnMz8iMiDI/UDZI299X3KI/AAAAAAAAEEQ/8fIYuNv_Wrk/s1600/PooBah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VtnMz8iMiDI/UDZI299X3KI/AAAAAAAAEEQ/8fIYuNv_Wrk/s400/PooBah.jpg" width="251" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
GI transit time: 13 hours, 22 minutes</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
On first glance, it would appear as though Austin beat me. However, I have it on good authority that he chased his Garmin 500 with two tablets of Ex-Lax and a Metamucil shake. Therefore I issued an official protest and had his entry 'flagged' - which means that I have actually claimed the KOM crown (KOM = King of Movements).</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Never heard of a flagged Strava entry? Well neither had I until recently when my trusty sidekick, Pickle 2, did a little experiment on Easley hill. One sunny Saturday morning, Pickle rode up the hill with his Garmin....only it was sitting in the passenger seat of his car. He uploaded the data as though he had made the ascent on his bike and posted the data to Strava. Not surprisingly, he was instantly awarded the KOM for ascending the 0.8 mile Easley hill at 19.2 m/h.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--j8lHDggMD0/UDZNCYMBuRI/AAAAAAAAEEw/48QkN04NjNY/s1600/StravaEaslyHill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--j8lHDggMD0/UDZNCYMBuRI/AAAAAAAAEEw/48QkN04NjNY/s400/StravaEaslyHill.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>That Pickle can flat out MOVE!</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Approximately 6 minutes after Pickle posted his KOM-worthy ascent of the big hill, he got a response from someone, whose name I've changed to "Mr. Rogers" for the sake of anonymity.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vVwyN5diUBk/UDZOUR6mH1I/AAAAAAAAEE4/8P8g6SYTAzA/s1600/StravaComment.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vVwyN5diUBk/UDZOUR6mH1I/AAAAAAAAEE4/8P8g6SYTAzA/s400/StravaComment.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Was this Easley climb on a bike?</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
When Pickle didn't respond, the ride was 'flagged' and the KOM status was rightly returned to Mr. Rogers. By the speed of Mr. Roger's response, and his sheer dominance in KOM crowns around COMO, I wonder if he keeps constant surveillance of Strava, maintaining each of his KOM segments open on his desktop computer and mobile devices at all times. Once an alert pops up on his smart phone that one of his KOMs has been bested, he assesses the data, and dashes over to a fire pole that descends into his garage where his bike lies waiting, tires inflated, chain lubed, skinsuit draped over top tube, bottles full of a 50:50 mix of Red Bull and Cytomax, ready to go at a moment's notice like the Batmobile, eager to reclaim his glory. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The problem with our experiment is that Pickle went up the damn hill too damn fast resulting in him getting called out by Mr. Rogers and subsequently flagged. But in light of the recent lawsuit surrounding Strava, I'm a little worried this was a reckless stunt to begin with. What if Pickle's KOM didn't get flagged, and it inspired a whole host of COMO's Strava-teers to go out there and try to best it, and someone stroked out while climbing that stinking hill trying to beat a time that was actually set by Pickle's Bugatti (yes, Pickle drives a Bugatti - I really need to figure out how much we are paying him).</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
At any rate, now that I've flagged Mr. Vinton for inappropriate use of cathartics - I think my GI King of bowel Movements crown will remain safely on my own colon, thank you very much. And rather than laying down the gauntlet, I will lay down the adult diaper to any COMO Strava-naut that thinks they can best it. I may not ride a bike up a hill very fast, but I've always taken the advice of "<em>shit or get off the pot</em>" to heart and know how to do just that.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Speaking of flagging results, I still have no idea how Christian VandeVelde took the yellow jersey from Tejay VanGarderen yesterday when they finished in the same group. To add confusion, BMC had previously filed a protest over the Crested Butte stage saying Tejay had gapped VandeVelde coming into the mountain finish on Tuesday suggesting that he should actually have a couple of seconds on the Garmin rider. One would think the race officials could have reviewed the televised finish (or alternatively just looked at this photo).....</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HRQSRlaDDII/UDZgCggbZgI/AAAAAAAAEFY/jVZXYfyQ0bI/s1600/2012_usa_pro_challenge_stage2_tejay_van_garderen_wins2a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HRQSRlaDDII/UDZgCggbZgI/AAAAAAAAEFY/jVZXYfyQ0bI/s400/2012_usa_pro_challenge_stage2_tejay_van_garderen_wins2a.jpg" width="276" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
and made an immediate ruling on it, but they said they wouldn't make a decision until today - two days later? And then BMC's director Michael Sayers decided to <a href="http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/van-garderen-motivated-after-war-of-words-erupts-in-colorado"><span style="color: blue;">lash out</span></a> at Team RadioShack for not doing any work in helping bring back Danielson yesterday and made the quote regarding the possum-playing RadioShack squad, "<em>I think they forgot that the women's race is later in the week." </em>Not a cool thing to say from the BMC leader as firstly, his team leader's wife, Jessica VanGarderen, is the race organizer for the women's race, the <a href="http://www.outsideonline.com/outdoor-adventure/biking/road-biking/Jessica-van-Garderen-On-The-blue-ribbon-alpine-challenge.html?166779606"><span style="color: blue;">Blue Ribbon Alpine Challenge</span></a>. And secondly, the women's race was actually run yesterday and had to be shortened to a single day's criterium versus the previous 3-day event last year because of an absolute lack of funds. Sayers can rip on the Shack all he wants, but slighting the women's race like that was pretty low...I think his ass needs to be flagged for that comment....</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-18340072407128639612012-08-21T14:18:00.000-07:002012-08-21T14:18:27.391-07:00Time managementThe recent op-ed penned by Jonathan Vaughters in the New York Times regarding his doping and his suggestions for changing the sport has become a gift that just keeps on giving. Shortly after it was published, Kansas cyclist, Steve Tilford decided to issue a response, lyrically titled, "<a href="http://stevetilford.com/?p=21198"><span style="color: blue;">Your Timing Stinks Jonathan."</span></a> (To answer your question, no, I didn't forget a comma in front of the word "Jonathan." Tilford did.) He sums up his opinion on the article with this statement:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em><strong>"My take on the article is that it is disingenuous, feeding the general readership, an ignorant audience on this subject, misinformation. I could easily rip the thing apart on multiple levels. But, that would be a waste of my time."</strong></em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MWkEdVYIo8Q/UDPzQB3XmLI/AAAAAAAAECo/aeserXHzogE/s1600/20120114-608I7383-631x421.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MWkEdVYIo8Q/UDPzQB3XmLI/AAAAAAAAECo/aeserXHzogE/s400/20120114-608I7383-631x421.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So, Steve Tilford suggests that if you are amongst the general readership of the New York Times and are not a pro-racer, you are an "<em>ignorant audience</em>." Check. Also - he says any further analysis of the piece would be a waste of his time. Remember that.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Well, somehow Tilford miraculously finds some time to come back to the subject in another post the very next day, eloquently titled, <a href="http://stevetilford.com/?p=21221">"<span style="color: blue;">Good Guys don't always do the Right Thing."</span></a> Here he backs off a little bit in response to some comments he recieved and concedes that Vaughters is a "<strong><em>super nice guy</em></strong>." But "<strong><em>Just because I think that he has ulterior motives for many of his actions doesn't mean I wouldn't like him."</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I wouldn't have thought Tilford had the mental facilities to issue a back-handed compliment, but he does so here with surprising skill. I bet Vaughters breathed a huge sigh of relief knowing that Steve Tilford might like him. I wonder if JV will send him a reply asking him to circle "yes" or "no."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bS4qtKcn54E/UDPdSDObdQI/AAAAAAAAECI/I4bgWQujBd4/s1600/do-you-like-me.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bS4qtKcn54E/UDPdSDObdQI/AAAAAAAAECI/I4bgWQujBd4/s400/do-you-like-me.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Reading Tilford's blog is like reading a letter from your Uncle Bubba in Hicktown, Mississippi.....the uncle that flunked out of an air conditioning repair internship, and now runs a worm farm. Here are some other "Tilford Gems" from his second post:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><em>"So now he</em> [JV]<em> gets a 2nd chance. For me, he's not doing so well with it so far, in my opinion."</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><em>"His</em> [JV]<em> tactics and methodology isn't so obvious to me right now."</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If I read sentences like this out loud, somewhere, my 4th grade teacher, Ms. Niarchos, shudders with a cold chill and senses that there has been a disturbance in the grammar force.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Well, Tilford's spewing vitriol finally caught the eye of Vaughters himself who commented on his blog which only inspires Tilford's inner idiot to begin spasming. In response to the very fact Vaughters responded, Tilford says:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em>"I have no idea how you have enough time to keep up with all this electronically. Maybe you've just blocked off this whole week to keep it all going in the right direction? To me, it seems like you might have to start again on a "program" to have enough energy to deal with it all."</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I love the way Tilford transitions from just being a harmless dumb-ass here to really getting nasty in suggesting JV should start doping again.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Another website, <a href="http://www.atwistedspoke.com/a-rebuttal-to-steve-tilfords-hatchet-job-on-vaughters/#disqus_thread"><span style="color: blue;">Twisted Spoke</span></a>, then jumps into the fray and the debate between Vaughters and Tilford continues in the comment section there, where Tilford first tries to misquote Vaughters and then chooses his next targets: Trent Lowe and Giro d'Italia winner Ryder Hesjdal:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em>"How about Trent Lowe. For that matter, Ryder. Why would he</em> [JV]<em> another hire</em> (sic)<em> a rider off a team that was run by Johan Bruyneel when he personally experienced what Johan expected from his riders. If you're attempting to run a clean program, why?"</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And Tilford still isn't done with it. He goes back to his own blog and writes<span style="color: blue;"> </span><a href="http://stevetilford.com/?p=21298"><span style="color: blue;">this</span></a>:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em>"First and foremost I can’t believe how much time Jonathan has spent on the Internet the past week. I have no personal knowledge if this is normal for him, but he seems to be posting anywhere and everywhere that his “mission statement” has been critiqued. It seems unfathomable that he has enough hours in the day to be doing this."</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Sweet fancy Moses, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, my name doesn't rhyme with DOO-DAH! (But I do give him credit for using the 50 cent word 'unfathomable' - which he even spelled correctly). </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
All I can say is thank goodness we have Steve Tilford magnanimously policing the peloton and spending his valuable (and clearly very limited time) calling out charlatans like Jonathan Vaughters - and Ryder Hesjdal for that matter. (I always suspected that he was dirty....he's just so....what's the word.....<em>Canadian</em>). I wonder if all of this ranting has made Tilford thirsty....because if so, might I suggest....</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b9IJHP_guLQ/UDP5FHZQ4rI/AAAAAAAAEDI/JIpW-2BKODM/s1600/shut-the-fuck-up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b9IJHP_guLQ/UDP5FHZQ4rI/AAAAAAAAEDI/JIpW-2BKODM/s400/shut-the-fuck-up.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-36246328955292469822012-08-20T16:42:00.001-07:002012-08-20T17:28:00.574-07:00Monkeys and blowIt sucks playing second fiddle. I wouldn't actually know that as a fact, because the fiddle I'm typically playing is so far down the line it's not even in the orchestra pit, but rather out in the parking lot somewhere. But as a general rule, playing second fiddle generally blows, which is why so many sayings are dedicated to the position. "<em>Always the bridesmaid, never the bride</em>," or "<em>second place is the first loser.</em>" Even in the diarrhea song, 'second' gets so much disrespect that there is no reference made to what specific form of defecation you will achieve as you round second base. If you're coming into first, your pants are about to burst, naturally. And if you are contemplating stretching your double into a triple and heading for third, you are going to lay a turd. And of course if you are sliding into home, your pants are full of foam. But NOTHING if you are coming into second! It is the forgotten position.<br />
<br />
This year, one of two men have dominated the majority of sprint finishes in pro-cycling and they both have one, if not many, nicknames. Mark Cavendish cleaned up at the Tour de France as well as the World Championships and is, of course, referred to as the "<em>Manx Missile</em>" (although we here at COMO CYCO like to refer to him as "<em>Cavendouche</em>." And Peter Sagan, who dominated the Tour of California and won the green jersey in the Tour has since been called the "<em>Tourminator</em>" or the "<em>Velvet Samurai</em>."<br />
<br />
And whilst <em>The Samurai</em> and the <em>Manx Missile</em> have been competing with one another over whose celebratory sprint pose is most douchetastic, American sprinter Tyler Farrar (it's pronounced like <em><strong>FAIR</strong>-rah</em>, I'm told)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qQIuSeYIoE0/UDLBXbe32FI/AAAAAAAAEAw/QYdg8NUL87I/s1600/Farah-Fawcett301.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qQIuSeYIoE0/UDLBXbe32FI/AAAAAAAAEAw/QYdg8NUL87I/s320/Farah-Fawcett301.jpg" width="276" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
has usually been simultaneously mopping the pavement with his body in race after agonizing race this year. Well today, Farrar finally has pulled a big ol' salami out of his chamois in the USA Pro Challenge Tour of blah blah blah.....in the form of a sprint win! And truth be told, let's give the kid some props, because he did it by hanging with the winning field and dragging his ass up a long ascent into Telluride and over a couple stinger passes when many of the other sprinters decided to catch a ride in the sag wagon instead...I don't want to call anyone out...but....oh shit - hang on...a sneeze is coming on....ahh..ahhh....ahhhh-CHICCHI! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AdVoTVyMimc/UDK_hJMbnNI/AAAAAAAAEAo/Gc40x8WKfdc/s1600/nok2012093_600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AdVoTVyMimc/UDK_hJMbnNI/AAAAAAAAEAo/Gc40x8WKfdc/s400/nok2012093_600.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="left" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Hell, even Farrar's teammate Dave Zabriskie suffered today, barfing away all of his vegan lunch and most of his vegan breakfast as he tried to stay with the breakaway group. (He's a vegan, if you've not heard). So can we finally give Farrar a nickname? Oh wait - Christian VandeVelde just did.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5HeLgFXlAZM/UDLCoTVKlkI/AAAAAAAAEA4/DWncV4svD1U/s1600/GN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="78" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5HeLgFXlAZM/UDLCoTVKlkI/AAAAAAAAEA4/DWncV4svD1U/s400/GN.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"The <strong>Ginger Ninja</strong> gets the monkey off his back in the mountains. So happy for him."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Yeah - I think that nickname should stick nicely. And this, apparently, is what you look like when you are a Ginger Ninja and you get a monkey off your back.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XxYGPjhFbUk/UDLJjQJHCRI/AAAAAAAAEBo/BMeS05cfa8k/s1600/20120820__TylerFarrarDay1~p1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XxYGPjhFbUk/UDLJjQJHCRI/AAAAAAAAEBo/BMeS05cfa8k/s400/20120820__TylerFarrarDay1~p1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Begone, monkey!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And in other, much less interesting news, <a href="http://www.iol.co.za/sport/cycling/fresh-blow-for-armstrong-1.1366433"><span style="color: blue;">Lance Armstrong</span></a> apparently has gotten himself some "fresh blow...."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dhppaiz-2-M/UDLEktnjQ6I/AAAAAAAAEBA/weoouLruqR8/s1600/fresh+blow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dhppaiz-2-M/UDLEktnjQ6I/AAAAAAAAEBA/weoouLruqR8/s400/fresh+blow.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>And I thought he was just being accused for using EPO, steroids and testosterone....</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Judge Sparks has sided with USADA and dismissed Armstrong's case against the anti-doping agency. Looks like he's got until August 23rd now to decide whether he's going to accept USADA's sanctions or try to fight them through arbitration. As I Googled this story, I noticed that many of the various news outlets have chosen to use the pursed-lipped, salmon-mouth photo of Armstrong seen above as visual representation of the story in an attempt to convey..... I actually have no idea what they are trying to convey, as he was neither photographed nor interviewed at all in response to this news story. I guess the news agencies just subjectively guess what he may be feeling upon hearing this and then go through their files in search of a photo that conveys those emotions.....and today, that would be this....</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-m0_3FLH3o7c/UDLIPlG-2mI/AAAAAAAAEBg/_lrlurH_XgA/s1600/Lance-Armstrong_20120820122242393_660_320.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-m0_3FLH3o7c/UDLIPlG-2mI/AAAAAAAAEBg/_lrlurH_XgA/s400/Lance-Armstrong_20120820122242393_660_320.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Actually, now that I think about it, maybe this is what it looks like when a monkey jumps on your back...with some fresh blow.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-79423526977509846972012-08-15T11:54:00.001-07:002012-08-15T12:00:15.277-07:00Inventing shit and saving the world.A reader sent me the following email this morning:<br />
<br />
<em>Dear PooBah,</em><br />
<br />
<em>I've got a kick-ass Swedish video that you HAVE to see. It's from Sweden.</em><br />
<em>Check it out and let me know what you think.</em><br />
<br />
<em>Jorgen</em><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="308" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/V20Z0UBCA50?rel=0" width="410"></iframe>
<br />
I joke. Actually, I wish that was the video he sent me. The actual video Jorgen sent me was the following, entitled "<a href="http://focusforwardfilms.com/films/49/"><span style="color: blue;">The Invisible Bicycle Helmet</span></a>."<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="230" mozallowfullscreen="mozallowfullscreen" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/43038579" webkitallowfullscreen="webkitallowfullscreen" width="410"></iframe>
Necessity, they say, is the mother of invention. Anna Haupt and Terese Alstin have created an invention that....well, only its mother (or mothers in this case) could truly love. In a nut shell, these women astutely sensed the need to completely redesign the bicycle helmet because:<br />
<br />
1) "Bicycle helmets have always looked the same" <br />
2) "It would be revolutionary" <br />
3) They're "going to save the world"<br />
4) To "become millionaires" and lastly<br />
5) To try to achieve more comfort...<br />
<br />
Regarding this last point, one of the creators explains, <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kmnFaLXZXZ4/UCvEr8LfYdI/AAAAAAAAD9Q/c6YJkOcSGCc/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kmnFaLXZXZ4/UCvEr8LfYdI/AAAAAAAAD9Q/c6YJkOcSGCc/s400/1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"I always thought bike helmets were extremely uncomfortable."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
...despite being apparently unfazed by the discomfort of wearing these:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WB3Zf-qaehU/UCvGB4KlpHI/AAAAAAAAD9Y/nYgkYprS4Kk/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WB3Zf-qaehU/UCvGB4KlpHI/AAAAAAAAD9Y/nYgkYprS4Kk/s400/2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Continues Anna, or maybe its Terese (I don't know which is which)....regarding conventional bike helmets...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3VWBdLM09sQ/UCvHlzYCliI/AAAAAAAAD9g/IqCP3OULVuI/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3VWBdLM09sQ/UCvHlzYCliI/AAAAAAAAD9g/IqCP3OULVuI/s400/3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"They're so bulky, like a hard mushroom on your head."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Was it just me - or did anyone else pick up on some awkward silence after Terese (or Anna) said, "<em>like a hard mushroom on your head</em>." Moving on....</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The women thus set out on a 7 year, 10 million dollar journey to design the world's first 'Invisible Helmet'. According to the video they first "<em>studied bicycle accidents and </em><em>compared them to normal biking</em>." (For me, biking accidents are synonymous with normal biking - but that's why I'm nursing a fucked up shoulder incurred from just trying to pedal to work one morning. I digress.) </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The inventors justify their mission:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ajjy3PKNVpY/UCvLvLIQ7VI/AAAAAAAAD98/jib9oSqRsmE/s1600/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ajjy3PKNVpY/UCvLvLIQ7VI/AAAAAAAAD98/jib9oSqRsmE/s400/4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"Cars are so yesterday. Bikes are the future."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As you can see, the girls are riding their bikes amongst a sea of cars (which shall henceforth be called <em>"yesterday-mobiles"</em> ) apparently helmetless. Or <em><strong>ARE </strong></em>they? Clever girls...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
They get to work on their project in one of those refurbished warehouses with open-air office settings and whiteboards where everyone gets to interact and share ideas freely, probably pausing frequently to get in Nerf gun fights with their bosses and then have breakout sessions...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-N2be7ZRsc_U/UCvQ7N4ljjI/AAAAAAAAD-Y/1i__8CSRqPE/s1600/5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-N2be7ZRsc_U/UCvQ7N4ljjI/AAAAAAAAD-Y/1i__8CSRqPE/s400/5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The women are wisely retrospective, and take time to marvel at what they've been able to achieve despite the fact they have breasts and ovaries.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_jv9a2lYPm4/UCvRjF-IB3I/AAAAAAAAD-g/Xl1Yl4WXj9I/s1600/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_jv9a2lYPm4/UCvRjF-IB3I/AAAAAAAAD-g/Xl1Yl4WXj9I/s400/6.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"People wonder how girls could invent anything this technical."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Wow. Ladies, I was wondering exactly the same thing! Considering the historically poor math skills on standardized tests, tendencies to cry easily and the inability to safely commute to work one week of every month for fear of being mauled by bears attracted to your menstrual blood, it's a wonder the project has only taken seven years to complete! But as we are carefully informed, the key ingredient to an orderly workplace is "<em>getting a rooster</em>," which must be Swedish slang for "<em>hiring a female secretary to wear short skirts, make coffee and take memos."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0gkPfik_CCI/UCvVPa48PgI/AAAAAAAAD-8/l5-go-7_vT8/s1600/7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0gkPfik_CCI/UCvVPa48PgI/AAAAAAAAD-8/l5-go-7_vT8/s400/7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"Get a rooster, and there will be order!"</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So, so true. The last thing anyone wants is a bunch of cocks running around the coop, smacking their hard mushrooms on people's heads.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
At this point, it is finally time for the payoff. Ladies, show us your Invisible Helmets...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-isV59XTJ8Ww/UCvY8VM1naI/AAAAAAAAD_Y/cJQknDu-k0g/s1600/9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-isV59XTJ8Ww/UCvY8VM1naI/AAAAAAAAD_Y/cJQknDu-k0g/s400/9.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Woah, whoa - hang on there sister! Sure, I don't see a helmet on your head, but what's with the stiff shirtless turtleneck you are zipping on there? It looks like someone ripped the collar off of a puffy ski-coat. I don't get how that's going to....</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NYGivpt9m4o/UCvZ9Vx37RI/AAAAAAAAD_g/RaxuqZVMjT0/s1600/10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NYGivpt9m4o/UCvZ9Vx37RI/AAAAAAAAD_g/RaxuqZVMjT0/s320/10.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Poof!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Oh I get it now! It's like a Go-Go-Gadget inflatable raft....only for you head!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I know that some of you out there may be scoffing at this idea because <strong>a)</strong> it's not invisible,<strong> b)</strong> wearing a 5 pound collar made of nylon fabric, with accelerometer and sodium azide/postassium nitrate canisters around your neck looks potentially more uncomfortable than a 250 gram styrofoam lid, <strong>c)</strong> turtlenecks are so.....yesterday (kind of like cars) <strong>d)</strong> it was designed by feeble-minded girls. But I disagree and have already ordered a couple. Sure, I'm a little worried about premature inflation when I eat shit going over the first set of barriers racing cross this season - but after that, my noggin is going to be living the sweet life for the rest of the race, tucked away safely in its own personal blimp-crib, while yours is going to look like a giant, swollen, uncomfortable, hard mushroom.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And as much as I am going to love using this little gem, I have to warn these women that this isn't the first time someone has tried to re-invent an everyday necessity so that it wouldn't have to be there to uncomfortably nag at you when you didn't want it to, but rather could be summoned with a simple puff of air should the "need" arise...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-P-ND89WDY2U/UCvrTaIMlgI/AAAAAAAAEAA/7GyQD_oiuAc/s1600/sex-doll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-P-ND89WDY2U/UCvrTaIMlgI/AAAAAAAAEAA/7GyQD_oiuAc/s400/sex-doll.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Thus, I've engaged in my own entrepreneurial spirit and have taken the liberty of combining the two ideas. Now you can kill two birds with one stone and have your inflatable companion ride your bike with you while simultaneously protecting your head!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p7XHtgY6ZyQ/UCvrxyfsnfI/AAAAAAAAEAI/R1W5dyt29qE/s1600/blow-up-doll-hoodie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p7XHtgY6ZyQ/UCvrxyfsnfI/AAAAAAAAEAI/R1W5dyt29qE/s400/blow-up-doll-hoodie.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And it didn't even cost me 10 million dollars. </div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-40776966298341312482012-08-14T17:39:00.001-07:002012-08-14T17:49:09.616-07:00Racing bikes: a beautiful cul-de-sac.As most of you have already heard, or read, last Sunday, an op-ed piece ran in the New York Times titled "<strong>How to Get Doping Out of Sports</strong>" penned by Garmin-Sharp team director Jonathan Vaughters in which he admits to doping during his career as a professional bike racer. If you've not read it, you can find it<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/12/opinion/sunday/how-to-get-doping-out-of-sports.html?pagewanted=all"> <span style="color: blue;">here</span></a>. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qQfQxQkp6vg/UCrYz996xrI/AAAAAAAAD8Y/YT3KOFihlUY/s1600/Vaughters_Jonathan_TDF10-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qQfQxQkp6vg/UCrYz996xrI/AAAAAAAAD8Y/YT3KOFihlUY/s320/Vaughters_Jonathan_TDF10-1.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
For any of you that follow professional racing, this was not really news. Vaughters has been hinting about using performance enhancing drugs ever since forming the early Slipstream team, which has since evolved into the current Garmin-Sharp-Barracuda squad. In fact, the subject of his hints of a doping past were, in many ways, the inspiration for wanting to form a 100% clean team. That said, he never came out and fully admitted to doping before, and certainly never revealed any details about the who, what, why and where of it all.<br />
In his op-ed in the Times, he does fully admit to doping, but <strong><em>still </em></strong>does not reveal the who, what, why and where of it all. At first, the response to his article from bloggers and writers was universal praise and gratitude. Individuals on Twitter, and bike forums thanked Vaughters and even claimed to be moved to tears by his tale of growing from a small boy with a weird alarm clock, to a young adult who never got to go to Homecoming or the Prom because of his dogged pursuit of a dream to race in Europe which was ultimately realized, only to have his dream crushed by the pressure to dope in a widely corrupt sport. The story worked in generating a lot of sympathy from a lot of observers.<br />
<br />
But since the initial positive response to his admission, there has been a slowly building backlash not directly against Vaughters himself, or his admission necessarily, but rather to how and why he chose to air this confession. As most know, the USADA is on the cusp of getting jurisdiction over the Lance Armstrong case and moving forward with arbitrating his alleged doping, and Vaughters is widely thought to have provided witness testimony of doping practices while on the US Postal team. <a href="http://www.roadcycling.com/articles/Vaughters-Doping-Confession_005058.shtml"><span style="color: blue;">Neil Browne</span></a>, cycling analyst and writer, suggests that Vaughters authored his recent piece with motivation not purely by what would benefit the sport, but what would benefit him personally, and is thus a "Jedi Master of Spin." <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z7PQrDLKAtg/UCrWZCpZ67I/AAAAAAAAD8Q/YaeywkOn4OU/s1600/Close_up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z7PQrDLKAtg/UCrWZCpZ67I/AAAAAAAAD8Q/YaeywkOn4OU/s320/Close_up.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Not coincidentally, JV has offered up his admission in advance of the USADA potentially releasing the names of all the eye-witnesses and their accounts, in a well-calculated preemptive move which allows him to control the story and appear more a victim than perpetrator. Appreciative of the honesty, yes, but Browne suggests that it may all be <em>too little, too late</em> to actually benefit the sport with any significance.<br />
<br />
Cyclist and blogger Seth Davidson (aka Wankmeister) has issued a far more <a href="http://pvcycling.wordpress.com/2012/08/11/heeeeeres-johnny/"><span style="color: blue;">caustic appraisal</span></a> of Vaughters' piece...<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ut15vlvhQn8/UCrVtbTHCpI/AAAAAAAAD8I/Zq96GDYzrfw/s1600/wankmeister111.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ut15vlvhQn8/UCrVtbTHCpI/AAAAAAAAD8I/Zq96GDYzrfw/s1600/wankmeister111.jpg" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>"Too bad he [JV] doesn't read my blog......He could have....saved himself some embarassment. You know, the embarassment from saying totally ridiculous shit that makes him look like a liar and a hypocrite, and that makes us look like tools for taking the time to read it."</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Davidson bullets JV's thoughs on why doping is bad in his post and then contradicts each and every one of them. Of particular interest was his response to JV point #3: <strong><u>"Doping forces young athletes to abandon their sport if they choose not to dope." </u></strong>To which Davidson replies:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>"Wait a minute....that's a negative? Trading in your stinky bibs for an Armani and a cubicle at Goldman-Sachs? Sign me up! Cycling is a cul-de-sac, and the only people in it are broken, or deluded, or drug-addled, or all of the above. The more young athletes who give up this ignoble pursuit as a profession and go get real jobs, the better. You can bicycle chase on the weekend."</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
All of this from a guy who has raced.....a lot. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Or try this one:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><u>JV point #4: "Riders who refused to dope, and walked away, were punished for following their moral compass."</u></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Davidson: <em>".....The whole point behind morality is to do what's right, regardless of the consequences. In fact, it is only by taking the punishment of an unjust system that morality makes sense, You're never punished for taking a moral stand, you're rewarded for it because, asshole, morality is its own reward. Which is the main reason it's so unpopular."</em></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Why do I bother referencing Neil Browne and Seth Davidson on this topic? Because they are smart and savvy and completely non-saccharine. Are they jaded? You bet. But I don't think I am alone in saying I'm weary of every commentator and blogger (present company included) trying to turn the story of some cyclist into a fairy tale, replete with humble beginnings, aspirations of grandeur, an arduous journey, a climactic challenge, a fall from greatness and a chance at redemption and then victimizing anyone that would challenge this pursuit. None of us actually live like that - why should we press-fit the lives of professional cyclists into that mold? That everyone thinks they deserve some kind of experience like this is probably the reason why those who dope do it.....to not have to face the reality that a very, very few of us will ever be considered truly exceptional at anything....least of all pedalling a bike around.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
All of that said, I do think Jonathan Vaughters is good for the sport, currently. He manages a respectful and intelligent team of gifted and seemingly conscientious athletes. Yes, he doped, and if I am speculating correctly, it will soon become public knowledge that he told some investigators that Lance Armstrong doped too. But if that does come to pass; if he is listed as an eyewitness and a snitch to Armstrong and Bruyneel's drug program, how is it that he comes off smelling like a rose, when people like Floyd Landis, and Frankie and Betsy Andreu lost so much in testifying the very same thing not that long ago.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E7M6dEctYuk/UCrjBFyDudI/AAAAAAAAD80/QtXfYcXzc3Q/s1600/espn_ap_rat_signs1_600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E7M6dEctYuk/UCrjBFyDudI/AAAAAAAAD80/QtXfYcXzc3Q/s400/espn_ap_rat_signs1_600.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I often ask myself, what would have happened when Floyd came clean and began suffering the backlash, if Vaughters, and Zabriskie, and Hincapie, and Leipheimer and Hamilton all came forward and said, "<em>Hang on - we all did it. We all saw it. Floyd's not alone.....The sport is fucked right to the core</em>." Maybe, just maybe, that kind of altruistic maturity to prevent a single person from having to dangle alone at the end of the noose could have changed the sport and have prevented the past 4 years of accusations, threats, investigations and insinuations. But that's just not the way the race is run. After all, if you are one of the lucky few to get into the break, you form allegiances quickly and then use everyone with you to stay away until you get the chance to screw them all and go for the glory on your own. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
In his post, Seth Davidson says that cycling is not a beautiful sport in one of his responses to a commentor named Matt, and lists quite a few reasons to justify his answer that make, on the surface, a pretty convincing argument that I couldn't even begin to contradict as eloquently as he lays out. But maybe that's the point. Cycling is filled with pain and anguish and if you are racing - 95% of the time, full of wasted effort. There are always a million reasons to quit and walk away from it (whether you are riding or watching)..and yet we come back to it. If that's not beautiful, I don't know what is.</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-4017791031419707632012-08-13T17:36:00.001-07:002012-08-14T06:52:56.781-07:00Speed....with style.The Olympics are over. And I'm very, very OK with that. Watching the Olympics is kind of like eating Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. When you start eating it, it tastes so good that you are pretty sure you could easily ingest your own body weight in the stuff, but somewhere into the second box, you're thinking you should have probably stopped at one. Similarly, when the Olympics started, I wanted to see it all. This is the only explanation I have for watching people swim back and forth in a pool 4 different ways night after night. But after a couple weeks of watching different swimming strokes, the whole thing started to strike me as a little ridiculous, because at some point I came to the realization that swimming is not necessarily about being fast. I mean, shouldn't swimming be like running, or cycling in which the athletes perform whichever stroke gets them from point A to point B the fastest? Why do the backstroke for 200 meters when the freestyle will get you there quicker? It would be like repeating the 100 meter dash only making all the runners run backwards, or better yet, on all fours. In this way, by the end of week one, any non-freestyle swimming competition started to remind me of the Ministry of Silly Walks...<br />
<br />
.
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="308" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/9ZlBUglE6Hc?rel=0" width="410"></iframe><br />
<br />
Then I remembered that swimming already has its own version of the ministry of silly walks....which is actually the ministry of silly walks on acid.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ygEuFXCxHkY/UCl8S_HeI7I/AAAAAAAAD6Y/jkvBXcJ0p1o/s1600/Olympics+Day+10+Synchronised+Swimming+RIHRmulyUVnl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ygEuFXCxHkY/UCl8S_HeI7I/AAAAAAAAD6Y/jkvBXcJ0p1o/s400/Olympics+Day+10+Synchronised+Swimming+RIHRmulyUVnl.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But before any swimmers start sending me hate mail - let me say, I think I get it. It's less about being fast and more about being fast in different ways. And speaking of which, Saturday was the Missouri State Time Trial Championship, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that being fast wasn't nearly as important as being fast with style.....I'm talking about anyone who, say, made their own rear disc wheel out of some packing tape.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-68KSaSkI-Ig/UCmDFhMHrFI/AAAAAAAAD60/6wBi_hymBQ8/s1600/TT-vinton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="335" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-68KSaSkI-Ig/UCmDFhMHrFI/AAAAAAAAD60/6wBi_hymBQ8/s400/TT-vinton.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Quite possibly the coolest TT rig to ever have graced the Missouri State TT championships (photo courtesy Roger Hinson).</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
You can have your $2100 Zipp Sub 9 tubular carbon disc wheel and stick it in your chamois, I say. The real recipe for speed with style is: One 32-spoke wheel slathered with one-half roll of some Scotch Super Strength ($2.99 a roll), mix with an old-school chocolaty Masi, add one Austin Vinton lightly marinated in Gatorade, bake for <a href="http://www.splitmastertiming.com/assets/State%20TT%20Final%20Results.pdf"><span style="color: blue;">53 minutes, 44.6 seconds</span></a> and out pops either the fifth fastest man of the day or the only UPS Store clerk you know with shaved legs and funny tan lines. And whereas Austin (Mercy Cycling) might tell you he could have done better in the TT, it would have been hard for him to have improved his performance in the Missouri State Criterium championship the next day (which he won) besting among some other seriously talented cyclists, pro and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc_Y0TEKRgM&feature=player_embedded"><span style="color: blue;">mentor Brad Huff</span></a> of Jelly Belly.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pu0ud5F3QOI/UCmOvFEhKhI/AAAAAAAAD7Q/FO3fIF2Qepw/s1600/313081_10151991499075478_143756548_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pu0ud5F3QOI/UCmOvFEhKhI/AAAAAAAAD7Q/FO3fIF2Qepw/s400/313081_10151991499075478_143756548_n.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>(Photo courtesy of <a href="http://www.facebook.com/search/results.php?q=2012%20missouri%20state%20criterium%20championship&init=quick&tas=0.1150667784412931#!/media/set/?set=a.10151991467810478.885148.868925477&type=1"><span style="color: blue;">Flannery Allison</span></a>)</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Another year, and another incredibly talented cyclist is showered with the pinnacle of achievements. Meanwhile, we, the less-talented cycling horde of COMO are showered with the detritus of every day cycling life. Case in point: a regular contributor to the blog has sent me the following photo of what was found by the bike rack outside of a friend's office here in COMO recently:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AWruK2lPaNs/UCmTHJKVmtI/AAAAAAAAD7s/JTLuJVdrs0I/s1600/2012-08-08_12-25-26_698.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AWruK2lPaNs/UCmTHJKVmtI/AAAAAAAAD7s/JTLuJVdrs0I/s400/2012-08-08_12-25-26_698.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>1 small tube of Crest toothpaste, 3 razors, one fork and a condom</em>.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Fancying myself as a bit of a Sherlockian devotee, I've tried to piece together what we might deduce about the individual who dropped this assortment of items, assuming they fell from one's saddle bag. At first I was convinced this individual must also be a roadie, hence the need for the razors. But then I realized the collection of items must have actually been owned by a tri-geek because <strong>a)</strong> a tri-geek is more likely to need three razors versus one: one for each leg and a special one only used for the "bikini-area", <strong>b)</strong> serious roadies would never be caught actually eating anything in public, so would have no need for a fork and <strong>c)</strong> only the tri-geeks in this town are fully expecting to get laid by someone in their group at any given moment during a training ride. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-59184072621284478702012-08-08T07:11:00.001-07:002012-08-08T07:15:32.134-07:00Individual pursuitNo time today for a lengthy post. But I did want to make special note of Taylor Phinney's recent Twitter exhibition of what I consider to be the beating heart of the true Olympic spirit: horniness.<br />
<br />
How else can you explain a blatant exploitation of the soul-crushing loss of someone's dreams and aspirations for the last 8 years as your own personal hole-shot for a hook-up?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dekaXdBLT2Q/UCJx9Fbq3RI/AAAAAAAAD50/ZW2NOss6UsM/s1600/lolo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dekaXdBLT2Q/UCJx9Fbq3RI/AAAAAAAAD50/ZW2NOss6UsM/s400/lolo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Who says the individual pursuit isn't an Olympic event this year?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Chapeau, Taylor. Fingers are crossed....</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EdipxMHZ6bo/UCJy2MOzD8I/AAAAAAAAD58/MqRk-k3zB6E/s1600/bettiniphoto_0109262_1_full_600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EdipxMHZ6bo/UCJy2MOzD8I/AAAAAAAAD58/MqRk-k3zB6E/s400/bettiniphoto_0109262_1_full_600.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-90927477432945320592012-08-06T16:42:00.000-07:002012-08-06T16:57:40.788-07:00Olympic news; failures, retractions and booger-eatingI need to start today by issuing a full retraction on a statement I made last week about people needing to give the entire <strong>"#NBCFail"</strong> thing a rest. Why have I changed my mind? At the end of last evening's prime time recap coverage, NBC chose to feature <em><strong>another</strong></em> interview of Missy Franklin by Bob Costas during which he showed her a taped greeting from Missy's obsession, "The Biebs". During said video, Bieber is holding his little brother who proceeds to pick a booger out of his nose and then eat it while Bieber speaks.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="231" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SWHc4I-Giy4" width="410"></iframe>
Missy is naturally completely smitten by this and turns inside out with giggly teenage hormones and issues her own publicly televised response.<br />
<br />
The only, and I repeat <strong>ONLY</strong>, way this saccharine, cringe worthy, non-Olympic moment could have been salvaged to be watchable in any way, is if Missy picked up and held the diminutive Costas in the same fashion Bieber had held his little brother, and let Bob pick and eat his own nose rocks during her reply.<br />
<br />
I don't fault Missy here. She's a kid and should be allowed to act like one. I don't even fault Bieber's little brother for eating his own boogers on air. If I was being forced to be on national television held by Justin Bieber, I would try to demonstrate some act of defiance myself. No, I blame NBC and that ass-munch Costas for essentially ripping off the Brady Bunch episode where Marsha makes an ass over herself falling for the Monkee's lead singer Davy Jones. There were clearly no other worthwhile Olympic themed stories to tell during that time. Why would NBC prefer to spend those 5 minutes telling an inspiring story of the hardships some athletes from less-privileged backgrounds (say from Mongolia, or Uzbekistan, or France) must face in trying to not even win a medal in the Olympics, but only qualify or even find the money to travel to the Olympics? Yes indeed, full retraction issued. NBC, you suck.<br />
<br />
And speaking of stories from the Olympics that aren't getting enough air-time. Check out British track-cyclist-phenom, Chris Hoy's, <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-19063554"><span style="color: blue;">hot pants</span></a>!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YldXzBpRJ8A/UCBH3QYtiVI/AAAAAAAAD4c/ByR6cRdAo08/s1600/CH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YldXzBpRJ8A/UCBH3QYtiVI/AAAAAAAAD4c/ByR6cRdAo08/s400/CH.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"The University's research team said the Adipower muscle-warming pants would offer a "real benefit to performance."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Real benefit indeed! Rumor has it that the Swedish track team stole a pair of the hot-pants upon arriving in London and decathlete Bjorn Barrefors overdosed on them prior to his pre-competition warm-up....</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RtEVAip9kJk/UCBJ-DhEXdI/AAAAAAAAD4k/jiiswIrJrHw/s1600/tumblr_m83n46oFTn1rcx94ao1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RtEVAip9kJk/UCBJ-DhEXdI/AAAAAAAAD4k/jiiswIrJrHw/s400/tumblr_m83n46oFTn1rcx94ao1_500.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And this reminds me that one of the least reported stories of this year's Olympics is the supposed sexual proclivity of some of the athletes. It seems that the media is being very shy about reporting on the issue and I've only seen about 200 articles published on the topic of the athletes humping like little bunnies in the past month. Luckily, Aussie BMX cyclist <a href="https://twitter.com/CBuchanan68/status/231726715817299968/photo/1"><span style="color: blue;">Caroline Buchanan</span></a> is staying "on top" of the situation and brings us the following photo via her Twitter feed:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l7gvWhpDKEc/UCBMU9Tu1CI/AAAAAAAAD5A/YJaxbOayp40/s1600/AzdCOGWCEAEAOXQ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l7gvWhpDKEc/UCBMU9Tu1CI/AAAAAAAAD5A/YJaxbOayp40/s400/AzdCOGWCEAEAOXQ.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Yes, apparently the Australian government didn't feel as though the <a href="http://now.msn.com/olympic-athletes-given-condoms"><span style="color: blue;">150,000</span></a> condoms that Durex supplied to the athletes for this year's competition would be adequate for their squad so they decided to bring their own.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sSULF02Skqo/UCBORCO7QeI/AAAAAAAAD5I/yzAecLKT9Z4/s1600/Durex-Olympic-Ad-e1343577023794.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sSULF02Skqo/UCBORCO7QeI/AAAAAAAAD5I/yzAecLKT9Z4/s400/Durex-Olympic-Ad-e1343577023794.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
But if watching your hearthrob's little brother eat his own boogers while wearing hot pants and having casual sex with uber-athletes who are still trying to get rid of the crabs they picked up in Beijing doesn't make you want to live vicariously through the life of an Olympiad, perhaps this website hosted by the BBC will help. Titled "<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19050139"><span style="color: blue;">Your Olympic athlete body match</span></a>", you can plug in your height and weight and find out which athletes you are closest to in body size.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-COv3WLD8tGE/UCBQl7mGLCI/AAAAAAAAD5Q/ANIoIdob9rg/s1600/bbc+chart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-COv3WLD8tGE/UCBQl7mGLCI/AAAAAAAAD5Q/ANIoIdob9rg/s400/bbc+chart.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
A mystery to none, I'm of rather large proportions, so was really curious to see which Olympic athlete I might be comparable to. I figured I probably wouldn't match up with the aforementioned Bjorn Barrefors, or Ryan Lochte (much to the disappointment of the GEEC) but still my hopes were high as I embarked on my athlete body-matching quest. What I learned was that I am, unfortunately, too big for this frequency distribution and am apparently "off the chart" so to speak. So, instead of returning a single male athlete's name, the program said I was actually equivalent to the combination of <strong><em>two</em></strong> athletes. More specifically I'm the size of a double version of Bahrain runner Ali Hasan Maboob. Don't believe me? Check out Mahboobs...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tOc1B-Byzok/UCBSKpg_ZLI/AAAAAAAAD5Y/lJw8mUXlicQ/s1600/mahboobs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tOc1B-Byzok/UCBSKpg_ZLI/AAAAAAAAD5Y/lJw8mUXlicQ/s400/mahboobs.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-46618341990925463722012-08-02T07:24:00.002-07:002012-08-02T09:42:23.612-07:00Time for a reality check.I think everyone needs to sit back, and calm the fuck down for a minute.<br />
<br />
By now everyone has heard that only hours after the Olympic cycling time trial competitions, in which Bradley Wiggins and Kristen Armstrong won the men's and women's fields respectively, a 28 year old male cyclist was run over and killed by a double-decker bus carrying some Olympic journalists.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J19_Tw1nWaA/UBqFZ2dqZaI/AAAAAAAAD3c/sYAtKNQA5Cc/s1600/1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J19_Tw1nWaA/UBqFZ2dqZaI/AAAAAAAAD3c/sYAtKNQA5Cc/s400/1.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
The incident was described on reddit.com by another cyclist who witnessed the entire thing first hand. I read it last night and it was harrowing. Essentially the cyclist rode up along side the bus when it stopped at a light, instead of waiting behind it. When the light changed, both the cyclist and the bus made left turns (the equivalent of the right turn here in the states) and the cyclist got pinched between the bus and the curb with no where to go and was dragged underneath the tires. The bus stopped and the observer rushed to the aid of the trapped cyclist. The individual who witnessed all of this and originally described it has subsequently taken down the description for fear of offending the killed cyclist's family, however did leave the <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/bicycling/comments/xiud7/just_sat_down_with_some_poor_bloke_for_his_last/"><span style="color: blue;">following</span></a> partial description:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em><strong>"I crawled up to him and tried to talk to him. I asked him his name and told him he was going to be alright. He didn't say anything because I don't think he could, but he looked straight at me. I did my best to look him straight in the eyes and tell him he was going to be ok. He was so afraid."</strong></em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Naturally, the media turned to Bradley Wiggins for a <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-19090898"><span style="color: blue;">comment</span></a> on the incident:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em>"...if you get knocked off and you ain't got a helmet on, then how can you kind of argue."</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Immediately, Twitter erupted with such vitriol toward Wiggins that you would have thought that he pushed the poor man under the bus himself. And out of context, his statement does sound pretty ridiculous, making it all the easier to make Wiggins the target here. BikeSnob NYC was already amongst those taking shots at him on Twitter this morning. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FDLVARAB4jQ/UBqLYawJKvI/AAAAAAAAD4A/_L5sSAND5SI/s1600/snob.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FDLVARAB4jQ/UBqLYawJKvI/AAAAAAAAD4A/_L5sSAND5SI/s400/snob.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But I'm asking myself, why did anyone in the media think that asking Bradley Wiggins to comment on this incident moments after a fierce competition was a good idea? Did that gold medal he won suddenly make him an expert on bicycling safety? Does anyone really think Wiggins commutes to work through the busy city streets every morning and night? Will Wiggins be training for his next race by riding the streets of downtown London through city traffic? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And even if you did want Wiggins' take on the situation, who thought it was a good idea to ask him literally hours after he just competed and won one of the biggest races of his life? I'm guessing his head was probably somewhere else at the moment, and he may have already had a few of those vodka tonics he was suggesting he would be consuming after the race. In his defense he goes on to clarify that he is unfamiliar with the city these days:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em>"It's dangerous, and London is a busy city. I haven't lived in London for 10 to 15 years now, and it's got a lot busier since I was riding a bike as a kid round here. But at the end of the day, we've all got to co-exist on the roads. So there's got to be a bit of give and take."</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm not defending Wiggins at all - honestly, I have no feelings for or against the guy. I'm merely saying that to praise Wiggins one moment for his great achievement and then crucify him literally an hour later for a singular uninformed reactionary response to a situation he knew precious little about is stupid. But it is so typical for the cycling twitterati that Wiggins has already referred to as "<em>bone-idle wankers,"</em> and to be honest, I couldn't agree more.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's similar to those that are incessantly bitching about the supposed failures of NBC to adequately cover the Olympics resulting in the increasingly popular <strong>#NBCFail</strong> hashtag. According to <a href="http://mashable.com/2012/07/30/nbc-fail-guy/"><span style="color: blue;">one report</span></a>, the number of #NBCFail tweets was 212 on July 27 and had increased to 20,000 by July 29th. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hPoLmqtpqFI/UBqJfU66G-I/AAAAAAAAD34/xCdVQaaqnxo/s1600/Olympics-Twitter-600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hPoLmqtpqFI/UBqJfU66G-I/AAAAAAAAD34/xCdVQaaqnxo/s320/Olympics-Twitter-600.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Granted - I think Bob Costas and Ryan Secrest are as much a couple of ass-munches as the next guy. But this level of whining is worthy of becoming its own Olympic sport considering that all anyone has to do to witness the events is sit their fat ass on the couch and flip through one of 5 different NBC affiliates to see virtually any Olympic Sport 24 hours a day. I watched fucking PING PONG the other night at 1:32 AM just because I could! My thought is that if you don't like the way NBC covers the Olympics, fly to London and watch them live!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Bradley Wiggins rides his bike for a living and isn't a hero for winning a gold medal, and he certainly isn't a spokesman or expert on bicycling safety or infrastructure. And I'm quite sure he knew very well that a helmet wouldn't have helped this individual. But he isn't a villain either. He is an entertainer. Period. He is also a husband, and a father and he wants the same thing we do: to ride his bike, and get home safely to his family at the end of every day. So everyone just take a deep breath and calm down and ride a little safer today - OK?</div>PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-35183542941786629512012-07-31T14:41:00.000-07:002012-07-31T14:43:12.262-07:00Irrelevant but inspiredSometimes (frequently) my day job is incredibly busy for stretches that last weeks at a time. I'm in one of those stretches right now. During times like this, it is difficult to do other things like spend time with the GEEC, or ride my bike, or blog, or read, or play with the dog as much as I would like. And while the dog will still be happy to play with me late at night when I sometimes get home, and my books will wait patiently on the nightstand for me, and not that many people really read this blog anyway, and the GEEC is usually happy to have a break from me now and then.....not riding really gets me down. Because not only do I lose the daily stress-relief that comes with an early morning or evening ride, but if too many days go by, then I feel myself losing a fitness level that is not easily achieved for me, and I start to slide backward. And this is beyond frustrating. I stop feeling relevant and part of the group that, for whatever reason, I try so desperately to be relevant in. This reminded me of something I read on BikeSnob's blog yesterday....<br />
<br />
Yesterday, BikeSnob NYC <a href="http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2012/07/there-we-were-high-above-london-streets.html"><span style="color: blue;">commented</span></a> on the New York cyclist and master's Cat 2 amateur racer David Anthony who recently tested positive for EPO at this year's NYC Gran Fondo. <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/28/sports/cycling/doping-in-cycling-reaches-into-amateur-ranks.html?_r=1"><span style="color: blue;">The New York Times</span></a> ran a story on he and other amateur cyclists who have recently been caught doping and quote Anthony as saying:<br />
<br />
<em>"It wasn't for money, and it wasn't for winning," said Anthony, a three-time winner of the Tour of Battenkill race in upstate New York. "It was about being relevant in the group, which was pretty addicting."</em><br />
<br />
BSNYC does a pretty good job (as ever) at mocking Anthony, and specifically takes aim at his motivation. He says:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>"Winning, I can understand, but he actually did it for social standing?"</em></div>
<br />
Snob then suggests Anthony has less hope at redemption that someone who serially abuses cocaine. I certainly am not condoning Anthony's actions in any way. However, if there was ever a motivation for doping that I <em>could</em> at least comprehend, feeling "relevant" in a group would be it. <br />
<br />
This brings me to the Olympic Road Races of this past weekend, of which I made several observations.<br />
<br />
#1) The future of men's American cycling is so bright, it needs to wear shades. At one point, there were three breaks that had formed on successive trips up Box Hill, and each one had an American in it: Timmy Duggan, Tejay van Garderen and Taylor Phinney. They were tenacious, relentless and passionate literally, to the bitter end.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q7w_mh2Kboo/UBg1k7qMs_I/AAAAAAAAD24/sWmHOlyBTqI/s1600/team+USA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="171" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q7w_mh2Kboo/UBg1k7qMs_I/AAAAAAAAD24/sWmHOlyBTqI/s400/team+USA.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
#2) Ditto for the women's race. <a href="http://www.outsideonline.com/outdoor-adventure/xx-factor/Evelyn-Stevens-on-Her-Journey-from-Wall-Street-to-London-20120615.html"><span style="color: blue;">Evelyn Stevens</span></a> and Shelley Olds' relentless attacks through the rain and slop were nothing less than pure inspiration. On any given day, they could have been on that podium.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-E3QW5kzafqM/UBg2meLFNCI/AAAAAAAAD3A/hV_cLQ22KsI/s1600/OlympicWomenRR-sized_467x467.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-E3QW5kzafqM/UBg2meLFNCI/AAAAAAAAD3A/hV_cLQ22KsI/s400/OlympicWomenRR-sized_467x467.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
#3) For the several Lance-supporters who have told me they were disappointed to see a former doper (Vinokurov) win the men's race. It truly is the time to wake up and smell the turd in the chamois, guys.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
#4) Giro winner Ryder Hesjedal <a href="http://www.theprovince.com/sports/Proceeds+from+jersey+auction+help+Yellowknife+rider/6986239/story.html"><span style="color: blue;">auctioned</span></a> off his pink jersey to financially support country mate and fellow cyclist Denise Ramsden so that she could compete in this year's Olympic games. One hundred Canadian Olympic athletes were short of funds to be able to compete, but thanks to the $10,300 that Hesjedal's jersey brought, Ramsden's trip was covered and then some. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And in case you needed any more inspiring stories....check this out. </div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="230" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/33584769?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0&color=ff3300" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="410"></iframe>PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-1164658409649404802012-07-25T10:39:00.000-07:002012-07-25T17:08:47.562-07:00The British (Olympics) are coming! Quit idling your bones!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6BWvwzUg5iE/UBAKtzYPp9I/AAAAAAAAD0o/crogLti3wV0/s1600/Untitled-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="75" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6BWvwzUg5iE/UBAKtzYPp9I/AAAAAAAAD0o/crogLti3wV0/s400/Untitled-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Talk about low-hanging fruit. This is almost too easy. What can one say really? The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree? Like mother like daughter? Don't worry, Mark - at least when your daughter's mother lifts up her dress, she does so while contemplating troubling geopolitical issues...Take this interview Peta Todd did for Loaded Magazine in which her dress has most definitely been lifted, but which doesn't stop her from thinking deep thoughts...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-azvhf0N-O3g/UBAO3NjXpyI/AAAAAAAAD04/ZOeYAkFeIKE/s1600/peta-todd-full-nude-and-hot-topless-at-girl-on-film-hq-11x2-400x635.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-azvhf0N-O3g/UBAO3NjXpyI/AAAAAAAAD04/ZOeYAkFeIKE/s400/peta-todd-full-nude-and-hot-topless-at-girl-on-film-hq-11x2-400x635.jpg" width="251" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I sleep better at night knowing that while Peta Todd is showing her ass, she is also worried about the goings on in Pyongyang. It's certainly more than what I am capable of when I am showing my ass, which usually occurs when the GEEC is eating her breakfast in the morning before work and I saunter out of the shower and drop my towel, turn around and say "<em>Hey honey, did you see that beautiful full moon this morning?" </em> But as we've recently learned from Bradley Wiggins, Brits truly have their own unique vocabulary. For example, in America, we use the term "<em>couch potatoes</em>" to describe the slothful, but in England, they are called "<em>bone-idle wankers</em>" as Wiggins <a href="http://www.cyclingweekly.co.uk/news/latest/533790/wiggins-lashes-out-after-doping-accusations.html"><span style="color: blue;">instructed</span></a> us not long ago. However, it seems to me that the terms "<em>wanker</em>" and the state of being "<em>bone-idle</em>" seem to be contradictory (because if you are of the male persuasion, your 'bone' is anything but idle if you are......anyway - you get the picture.) But what do I know - I'm just a "<em>Yank</em>" (which coincidentally enough, is a synonym of "<em>wank</em>" isn't it?) At any rate - in specific reference to Peta and Mark and their concerns over the newly demonstrated exhibitionist tendencies of their daughter, the term "<em>ass</em>" when referencing one's posterior, isn't really even used in England as far as I can tell. It's called an "<em>arse</em>" or "<em>bum</em>," I believe. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And the discussion of "<em>bums</em>" brings me to what I really wanted to talk about today. Not English "<em>bums</em>" but the good old-fashioned American version. As you know, a little sports competition is set to begin this weekend in London called the Olympics, and there will be a handful of men and women riding their bikes in it. On Saturday and Sunday are the men's and women's road races, respectively, and on Wednesday is the time trial. I was curious to see who was going to be <em>representin' </em>(which is an American term) for the various countries, so I checked out this <a href="http://www.london2012.com/cycling-road/athletes/event=cycling-road-men-road-race/index.htmx"><span style="color: blue;">website</span></a> showing the London Olympic 2012 cyclist's profiles complete with pictures used on their official ID badges. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I was struck by how much the photos resemble mug-shots and look like a cavalcade of the homeless and incarcerated. For your viewing pleasure, I bring you my favorites with some fictional charges they may have been brought in for. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Sylvain Chavenel:</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6y-MICKcsHg/UBAYsDqtdbI/AAAAAAAAD1I/mC5OnaE_z6o/s1600/SC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6y-MICKcsHg/UBAYsDqtdbI/AAAAAAAAD1I/mC5OnaE_z6o/s320/SC.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Heavily intoxicated, he was arrested Monday morning at 3:30 AM in a Paris disco for asking a waitress to "rub his sore joint".</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Taylor Phinney:</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J_ycPkwHaDI/UBAZ2kFfCII/AAAAAAAAD1Q/exx9gOFEnaM/s1600/TP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J_ycPkwHaDI/UBAZ2kFfCII/AAAAAAAAD1Q/exx9gOFEnaM/s320/TP.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Brought in for questioning early yesterday regarding the theft of three extra boxes of condoms from the Olympic dispensary. Upon questioning, Phinney stated, "You can never have too many spares...I live in fear of a puncture when I'm riding."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Frank Schleck:</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QD0B77d9LEo/UBApAkK2RII/AAAAAAAAD2o/EaLl9U0TfZI/s1600/FS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QD0B77d9LEo/UBApAkK2RII/AAAAAAAAD2o/EaLl9U0TfZI/s320/FS.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Arrested last week for disorderly conduct when he was caught urinating through the open sunroof of a Nissan Altima owned by one Johan Bruyneel. When questioned, he said, "I just suddenly had to go pee-pee very, very badly...."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Jakob Fuglsang:</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-byPKuYgnCHY/UBAayPdPqkI/AAAAAAAAD1Y/tuj3F7eOEUw/s1600/JF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-byPKuYgnCHY/UBAayPdPqkI/AAAAAAAAD1Y/tuj3F7eOEUw/s320/JF.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Charged in Austria with indecent exposure when he tried to get a female pedestrian to fondle his "prized bratwurst" won during the recent Tour of Austria.</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Fabian Cancellara:</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uLelYKLfXjk/UBAblQM4dwI/AAAAAAAAD1g/Jln0Bm2ewt4/s1600/FC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uLelYKLfXjk/UBAblQM4dwI/AAAAAAAAD1g/Jln0Bm2ewt4/s320/FC.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Interrogated last week for allegedly dispensing diuretics without a license.</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Cadel Evans:</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G7_8LYfDpz8/UBAcnhSot0I/AAAAAAAAD1o/0_a1QJXV4C0/s1600/CE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G7_8LYfDpz8/UBAcnhSot0I/AAAAAAAAD1o/0_a1QJXV4C0/s320/CE.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Confused and disoriented, he was arrested late last Sunday evening for disorderly conduct when he was discovered staggering down the middle of the Champs-Elysees wearing a 2011 maillot jaune and no pants, saying he was looking for his lost stuffed lion plushie.</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Branislau Samoilau:</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4njEfLTjoQA/UBAfzVT0ZNI/AAAAAAAAD14/Y9MFjZFou6w/s1600/BS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4njEfLTjoQA/UBAfzVT0ZNI/AAAAAAAAD14/Y9MFjZFou6w/s320/BS.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Questioned Tuesday evening in London for the theft of Jonathan Vaughter's favorite argyle cardigan.</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Peter Sagan:</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eZi3707xTzs/UBAghZ91WPI/AAAAAAAAD2A/_DVLDSGRB0Y/s1600/PS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eZi3707xTzs/UBAghZ91WPI/AAAAAAAAD2A/_DVLDSGRB0Y/s320/PS.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Arrested for lewd conduct Wednesday morning in the outskirts of London during a training ride because passers by complained he had a cucumber stuffed down the front of his chamois shorts. Upon further questioning, the accused, who is also known as "The Velvet Samurai," explained that he was just practicing his new victory salute for when he wins the Olympic road race. An ensuing search was unable to identify any vegetable in his pants, however. Charges were dropped. Bonsai.</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Chris Horner</strong>:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GwD5o0VEFeE/UBAkVzlUGqI/AAAAAAAAD2Q/bjTl8ktDF-c/s1600/CH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GwD5o0VEFeE/UBAkVzlUGqI/AAAAAAAAD2Q/bjTl8ktDF-c/s320/CH.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Arrested for indecency when he was caught in public kissing the exposed derriere of an adult male wearing a Texas Longhorn's jersey with a giant yellow number '7' printed on it.</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Timmy Duggan:</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k92FoE1sI0g/UBAlh72l7zI/AAAAAAAAD2Y/NX9ULRpkPHU/s1600/TD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k92FoE1sI0g/UBAlh72l7zI/AAAAAAAAD2Y/NX9ULRpkPHU/s320/TD.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Found guilty of total bad-assery. Go get 'em Timmy!</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="left" style="text-align: center;">
</div>PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-29780491143003569702012-07-23T16:09:00.001-07:002012-07-23T16:40:20.922-07:002012 Tour de France: The Best and WorstFor the two or three of you that actually read this blog, you may have noticed that I didn't post anything last week. That is because the GEEC and I decided to skip town with the COMO CYCO dog in pursuit of cooler climates which were happily discovered far, far away at a much, much higher altitude thankfully. But what we gained in more pleasurable weather and scenery, we lost in Tour de France viewing, unfortunately. So today I'm left trying to pick up the scraps of everything that went down in the past week. Perhaps you missed a thing or two as well. Just in case, let's catch up with some of the best and worst moments of the last week of the 2012 Tour!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Biggest prick in the 2012 Tour de France peloton?</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OBPZJXUiFEw/UA27n5Yar3I/AAAAAAAADys/rpvxrOBYTtw/s1600/610x.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OBPZJXUiFEw/UA27n5Yar3I/AAAAAAAADys/rpvxrOBYTtw/s400/610x.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
That would have to go to the Stage 17 fan on the climb to Peyragudes....(<a href="http://www.daylife.com/photo/04RBaml2393XO"><span style="color: blue;">credit</span></a>)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Egoi Martinez was amused....passenger on AG2R motorbike - not so much. But the man in the hat and little else prompted hashtags ranging from <em>#dongstrong</em> to <em>#ricardo montaldong on Twitter.</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Most aggressive former cyclist in the 2012 Tour de France?</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Hl4fyxSWnOg/UA28fBMScXI/AAAAAAAADy0/L47kT90iA5w/s1600/03370230_jpg_h600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Hl4fyxSWnOg/UA28fBMScXI/AAAAAAAADy0/L47kT90iA5w/s400/03370230_jpg_h600.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Easy - Bernard Hinault on the final podium in Paris - chucking a trespassing hipster off stage and into the front row! The Badger still has it!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Most unsurprising Tweet sent by a cycling spouse during the Tour?</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jVxYJgzn8QU/UA2_jrqUmCI/AAAAAAAADzI/8_V9dbIMIIY/s1600/PT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="80" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jVxYJgzn8QU/UA2_jrqUmCI/AAAAAAAADzI/8_V9dbIMIIY/s400/PT.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Mark Cavendish's frequently half-naked girl informing the world she forgot her knickers.....shocker.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Biggest cycling news distraction from the 2012 Tour?</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Lance Armstrong using <a href="http://fraudbytes.blogspot.com/2012/07/lance-armstrong-investigation.html"><span style="color: blue;">Livestrong money and personnel to lobby against USADA</span></a> who is currently charging him with doping. Livestrong's purpose is supposed to be to raise cancer awareness <a href="http://outside%20magainze%20and%20bill%20gifford%20and%20lance%20armstrong/"><span style="color: blue;">isn't it</span></a>?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WwCzdAtlziU/UA3DG2M79jI/AAAAAAAADzY/zEIGOhOZ4Xc/s1600/LA1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WwCzdAtlziU/UA3DG2M79jI/AAAAAAAADzY/zEIGOhOZ4Xc/s400/LA1.jpg" width="327" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"If I hold my thumb like zis, and speak wiz a German accent, I look a leetle bit like Hitler, ya?"</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>2012 Tour Team which invokes the most love-hate feelings?</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
RadioShack Nissan Trek...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<u>Love</u>: Jakob Fuglsang.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--TTtDEREmH4/UA3EzS20gBI/AAAAAAAADzg/nbDy6yrO1PA/s1600/20120707_ms_tos_200a_1_600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--TTtDEREmH4/UA3EzS20gBI/AAAAAAAADzg/nbDy6yrO1PA/s400/20120707_ms_tos_200a_1_600.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Despite not being paid by his team, then being removed from the Tour roster and any other UCI World Tour competitions by bossman "Hog" Bruyneel, Jakob still goes ahead and wins every other race he enters this summer...(incluing the Tour of Austria and a giant sausage) while the man who attempted to shackle him awaits formal doping charges. Suck on that salami, Hog.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<u>Hate: </u>Chris Horner</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RO1LPdGRp48/UA3GViOAtMI/AAAAAAAADzo/7Aiq8eeGdbU/s1600/tdf12st20mw-george.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RO1LPdGRp48/UA3GViOAtMI/AAAAAAAADzo/7Aiq8eeGdbU/s400/tdf12st20mw-george.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.pezcyclingnews.com/?pg=fullstory"><span style="color: blue;">(credit)</span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Way to cover what was supposed to be George Hincapie's solo ceremonial break-away and then awkwardly suck his wheel 100 meters in front of the peloton on the Champs Elysees, stealing his glory for riding in the most Tours de France of any cyclist, you ass-munch. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Cyclist who breathed the freshest air into the 2012 Tour?</strong></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="231" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/YIMp55jY80o?rel=0" width="410"></iframe><br />
Sagan, of course. Not content with three stage wins and invoking the likes of Forrest Gump, a chicken and the Hulk during his victory salutes, Sagan attempts to steal more hearts by boob-raping female fans with magic markers.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Most insensitive photo posted on Twitter during the 2012 Tour ?</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7UUq7JAzNzg/UA3N1rGMe0I/AAAAAAAADz4/SShUSt2IaI8/s1600/AygX_GqCMAAOOQa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7UUq7JAzNzg/UA3N1rGMe0I/AAAAAAAADz4/SShUSt2IaI8/s400/AygX_GqCMAAOOQa.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Richie Porte of Team Sky, crashed out on the couch in his tighty blackies and teddy the day after the Tour.....photo taken and posted by his girl Tiffany.....very not cool.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>T-shirt with the least-veiled double meaning worn by a significant other during the Tour?</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WIjLmxgjP9o/UA3P1d_lYWI/AAAAAAAAD0A/K0Kvi_J-p4Y/s1600/tdf12st20eh-ck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WIjLmxgjP9o/UA3P1d_lYWI/AAAAAAAAD0A/K0Kvi_J-p4Y/s400/tdf12st20eh-ck.jpg" width="287" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Christian Knees' girlfriend's shirt reading: "<em>I heart CK."</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Worst execution of a stoic game face in a period of great suffering during the 2012 Tour?</strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This one is a tie between SaxoBank's Chris Anker Sorensen literally every single day....</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-25WVMMvq7D0/UA3T4VboDQI/AAAAAAAAD0Q/K5jxkNOv8ho/s1600/510sorensen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-25WVMMvq7D0/UA3T4VboDQI/AAAAAAAAD0Q/K5jxkNOv8ho/s400/510sorensen.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
....and Bradley Wiggins' expression while on the podium in Paris during the singing of his National Anthem by Lesley Garret:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Q6Gp3GKtqic/UA3VQGzEMzI/AAAAAAAAD0Y/XIXQ1gaqeJs/s1600/BW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Q6Gp3GKtqic/UA3VQGzEMzI/AAAAAAAAD0Y/XIXQ1gaqeJs/s400/BW.jpg" width="307" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm giving this one to Wiggins because, as painful as that performance of <em>God Save the Queen</em> was, Anker Sorensen actually shaved two of his fingers down to bone when he reached his hand into his own moving spokes to retrieve some stuck paper, yet still finished the tour as "Most Aggressive Rider" while Wiggins only contemplated shaving his ears off in spokes during the performance of his national anthem.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
What was your favorite Tour moment? Discuss!</div>PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-57328598685717471682012-07-11T09:49:00.000-07:002012-07-11T09:51:42.530-07:00Getting defensive: the flatulent and the hairyBy now, much has been written about Tour de France leader, Bradley Wiggins', response to skeptics regarding his performance resembling that of the former US Postal team, now allegedly having been doped to win. His response has been censored in almost all American news outlets including <a href="http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/wiggins-delivers-caustic-assessment-of-his-critics"><span style="color: blue;">Cyclingnews</span></a>:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1p5CfgPzX9E/T_2U3fnWmiI/AAAAAAAADx0/vC4_J6ExXQM/s1600/Untitled-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="130" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1p5CfgPzX9E/T_2U3fnWmiI/AAAAAAAADx0/vC4_J6ExXQM/s400/Untitled-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>"...after a pause, Wiggins replied: "They are just f***ing w*****s."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
I think I know what he actually said - but only because I really like the comedic works of Ricky Gervais. However, perhaps there are some readers who have been left clueless as to what Wiggo's eloquent phrase really was. And I'm left wondering how the Cyclingnews editors decided how many letters to omit from each word. Because with 8 asterisks in a two word phrase with 14 letters total - there are more asterisks than letters. This might as well have been a game of hangman!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WJB-E54CwOQ/T_2WzUqlj7I/AAAAAAAADx8/j5EjIrtcVxk/s1600/hangman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WJB-E54CwOQ/T_2WzUqlj7I/AAAAAAAADx8/j5EjIrtcVxk/s320/hangman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Some various possibilities:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
"FAILING WASHERS"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
"FALLING WILLOWS"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
"FARTING WITCHES"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I'm kind of partial to the last one, myself, as I have it on good authority that Wiggo might actually be the proud owner of a Farting Witch.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DBTSjgMBAws" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br />
I fully admit to being a very skeptical cycling fan, and thus would also be considered a 'farting witch' by his standards, I suppose. I'm not saying Wiggo is loaded - but who is to blame me for questioning anyone really, as the day after Wiggins went on his defesnive tirade, a rival Tour team's hotel was <a href="http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/cofidis-hotel-raided-di-gregorio-arrested-at-tour-de-france"><span style="color: blue;">raided</span></a> by French police and Cofidis cyclist Remy De Gregorio taken into custody by the gendarmes for doping. So in all fairness to Bradley's defiant response to cynics, I say:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RHHFpF240xo/T_2eRLC2VOI/AAAAAAAADyU/eIiBD4V7e1o/s1600/WW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RHHFpF240xo/T_2eRLC2VOI/AAAAAAAADyU/eIiBD4V7e1o/s1600/WW.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
And speaking of doping, the Lance Armstrong saga has now boiled down to what will prove to be an epic battle between two animalistic forces. Let me explain what I mean. First, in response to USADA's charges that Lance Armstrong both used and trafficked performance enhancing drugs in a conspiracy that spanned many years, Lance's attorney have recently filed two<a href="http://deadspin.com/5924516/lance-armstrong-files-suit-against-usada-and-its-kangaroo-court"> <span style="color: blue;">lawsuits</span></a> against USADA and its "Kangaroo Court."<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d_ITMq-ItPU/T_2f-GGbWaI/AAAAAAAADyc/DskhbeOhy-k/s1600/kangaroo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d_ITMq-ItPU/T_2f-GGbWaI/AAAAAAAADyc/DskhbeOhy-k/s1600/kangaroo.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Of course, the reason why he had to file this suit not once, but twice, is because Federal judge Sam Sparks<span style="color: blue;"> </span><a href="http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/armstrongs-federal-lawsuit-against-usada-dismissed"><span style="color: blue;">tossed out</span></a> the first attempt less than 7 hours after it was filed stating, </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em>"This Court is not inclined to indulge Armstrong's desire for publicity, self-aggrandizement or vilification of Defendants, by sifting through eighty mostly unnecessary pages in search of the few kernels of factual material relevant to his claims."</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em>"Armstrong's complaint is far from short, spanning eighty pages and containing 261 numbered paragraphs, many of which have multiple sub parts," Sparks wrote. "Worse, the bulk of the paragraphs contain 'allegations' that are wholly irrelevant to Armstrong's claims - and which, the Court must presume, were included solely to increase media coverage of the case, and to incite public opinion against the Defendants."</em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Among many other "irrelevant" facts listed in the original version are the results of the Texas youth swimming championships which Armstrong entered when he was 12 years old, and finished fourth in the 1,500-meter freestyle. (See it <a href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/99598039/Lance-Armstrong-Sues-to-Stop-Doping-Case"><span style="color: blue;">here</span></a>, page 8, paragraph 28.)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
This, of course, is a brilliant scheme concocted by Lance and his attorneys, and is better known as the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chewbacca_defense"><span style="color: blue;">Chewbacca Defense</span></a>. If you've not heard of this style of legal defence, I refer you to its inception:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<embed allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" base="." flashvars="" height="293" src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:southparkstudios.com:103454" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="360"></embed><br />
<br />
Who can really predict who will win in a battle between a kangaroo and Chewbacca. I mean - sure Chewbacca is 8 feet tall and apparently possesses human-like intelligence, but let's not forget that in the <strong><em>Empire Strikes Back</em></strong>, he was ultimately unable to repair the hyperdrive on the Millenium Falcon in their highest moment of need, and R2D2 had to save the day. But let's also remember that some think Chewbacca is nothing more than some dude in a fuzzy suit. And have you ever seen what a kangaroo can do to a dude in a fuzzy suit?</div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GdVmM_pQwdk" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br />
Call me a farting witch, but my money is still on the kangaroo...PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6975416714759248289.post-6057188163657421282012-07-06T09:21:00.000-07:002012-07-06T10:21:51.329-07:00Tour de France week 1 recap: The Perfect StormDo you remember the scene from the movie <strong><em>The Perfect Storm</em></strong> where the ass-munch weather man nearly creams his jeans as he considers the rarity of the meteorological event that is unfolding on the Doppler radar before his eyes?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xq-UVtNABJg/T_br_zF-eyI/AAAAAAAADws/hKn93Qe_zqs/s1600/ar121605784078043.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xq-UVtNABJg/T_br_zF-eyI/AAAAAAAADws/hKn93Qe_zqs/s400/ar121605784078043.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>(The best acting in the entire scene actually came from The Count plushie)</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Well this week, it is I who is the ass-munch weatherman, only I'm watching the Tour de France, which has become an equivalent perfect collision of calamitous events resulting in an epic wake of destruction. Like various and severe weather systems intersecting, so too have the different story lines in cycling news woven together to form a veritable cesspool that is not necessarily fun to watch, but impossible to turn away from:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-B2rHLQsolSY/T_bugdYuW_I/AAAAAAAADw4/rolL87XcXsM/s1600/George-Clooney-Perfect-Storm-20001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="277" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-B2rHLQsolSY/T_bugdYuW_I/AAAAAAAADw4/rolL87XcXsM/s400/George-Clooney-Perfect-Storm-20001.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>Oh jeeze...</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<u>Storm System 1:</u> USADA's timing. Travis Tygart will certainly never be accused of being overly discrete. I suppose when you want to make an example of someone, picking the biggest stage possible is definitely one way to go. But the least he could do is give Vaughters a friendly "heads up" that witness names were about to be named. I mean, the usually well-coiffed directeur was particularly disheveled when the news broke and didn't even have a chance to put a fine point on his sideburns before talking with the press yesterday!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0g4Ix5pemVo/T_cJNjLZe9I/AAAAAAAADxk/bcRrlhCUbgI/s1600/0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0g4Ix5pemVo/T_cJNjLZe9I/AAAAAAAADxk/bcRrlhCUbgI/s400/0.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<u>Storm System 2:</u> The entirety of the commentating crew of NBC's Sport's Channel covering the Tour. Could there be a more insipid or banal pairing than Liam McHugh (<em>Liam McWho?)</em> and Bob Roll? One knows nothing about the sport, and the other thinks he knows everything. Then consider that Roll and fellow commentator, the dementia-laden Phil Liggett, are both so infatuated with Lance Armstrong, that they cannot bring themselves to discuss anything that might be perceived as negative about him. In light of the announcement yesterday of some of USADA's witnesses against Lance to include George Hincapie, Christian VandeVelde, David Zabriskie and Levi Leipheimer - what any normal cycling news person would consider to be 4 very significant nails in Armstrong's coffin - the NBC crew spoke on the issue for a grand total of 30 seconds and then immediately cut to slow-motion crash footage of the previous days....over and over and over and over and over....and in such fashion has become the gonzo journalistic source for cycling in America. Of course Team RadioShack Nissan Trek is advertising heavily on NBC sports for something called the <a href="http://ultimateaccess.nbcsports.com/?dcp=omd.79498748.&dcc=0.255886326&dcn=1"><span style="color: blue;">Nissan Ultimate Access</span></a> competition - so they probably have an agreement with NBC that no more than 30 seconds a day can be dedicated to negative news about Armstrong or Bruyneel. I wonder if the clause says something like "<em>If excessive bad news is released regarding Armstrong and doping, distract the viewer with more crashes - maybe they won't notice</em>." (The old "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8m9259LUjg"><span style="color: blue;">monkey likes shiny</span></a>" trick). And speaking of crashes, and in specific regard to NBC's <em>'man on the street interviews'</em>, how many different answers do you expect to the question, "<em>How did you avoid the crashes today</em>?" Yet they keep asking anyone they can shove a microphone in front of (Tyler Farrar excluded.) Just once I would like Greipel or Goss to answer, "<em>Dude - we were going 45 MPH - how the fuck should I know?? I closed my eyes and gripped the handlebars and somehow came out on the other side!"</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<u>Storm System 3</u>: Peta Todd (girlfriend of World Champion and sprinter Mark Cavendish) has become the new directeur for Team Sky. She sends out a single Tweet (which she subsequently removed) suggesting Team Sky is not protecting her Man Missile enough, and during Stage 5, they lay down a lead out train for him unprecedented in this year's tour. Team directeurs were later quoted as saying, "<em>We thought Peta had a good point.....actually maybe </em><em>two."</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-syJE5xuEEeQ/T_b8_-NYuxI/AAAAAAAADxM/PDhliEriCRk/s1600/peta&cav.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-syJE5xuEEeQ/T_b8_-NYuxI/AAAAAAAADxM/PDhliEriCRk/s400/peta&cav.jpg" width="332" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<u>Storm System 4:</u> Peter Sagan. Not only does he acquire the nickname "<em>The Velvet Samurai</em>" but he also channels Forrest Gump:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xNTAq-WAFEo" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
But all the crashes have made him a little jumpy, so today he is sporting a bell on his bike to let the peloton know where he is at all times.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Npyj7GsbQ-0/T_b999YEDtI/AAAAAAAADxU/b0EvEMA9y4g/s1600/612252329.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Npyj7GsbQ-0/T_b999YEDtI/AAAAAAAADxU/b0EvEMA9y4g/s400/612252329.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<u>Storm System 5</u>: Tyler Farrar. The poor kid is literally wiping the road with his body all the way to Paris. So frustrated was he with his crash yesterday, that the bloodied Garmin sprinter charged directly onto the Argos Team bus after he rolled over the finish line to have words with Tom Veelers, even though, as far as I could tell, Veelers had absolutely nothing to do with Farrar going down. And the whole charging scene was fairly reminiscent of a friend of mine who always thought it would be cool to <em>almost</em> be in a bar fight, so would tell me, "<em>Dude - I'm gonna go get in that guy's face - make sure to hold me back." </em></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="209" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/45265842" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="398"></iframe><br />
Tyler is probably way too nice of a guy to actually kick anyone's ass anyway.<br />
<br />
So what can we learn from the movie <em><strong>The Perfect Storm</strong></em> that might apply here? Many possible lessons, honestly. <br />
<br />
#1) Lance kind of reminds me of George Clooney's character, who, let's be honest, was far too good looking and well-spoken to be a North Atlantic tuna fisherman, and learned that even those attributes couldn't keep his ship from sinking in the end. Also - if you keep enough stinking fish in the ship's hold, sooner or later, you're going to start smelling as well.<br />
<br />
#2) If watching weather patterns (or bad Tour coverage) on the radar makes you an ass munch weatherman, maybe you should stop watching and go outside more.<br />
<br />
#3) Kind of like how the movie really has no use for the attractiveness of Diane Lane, just throwing some booby pictures up cannot salvage a mediocre blog (sorry Peta).PooBahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02341338669440735317noreply@blogger.com0