Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Unveiled! The lucrative art of blogging.

After last week's edition of Friday Mail, a comment was left anonymously which I wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to read:
Anonymous said:
It's amazing that you pay all of that money for the usage rights for photographs for professional bicyclists.  That must cost you hundreds of dollars per week.  You are one dedicated blogger, because we all know that you would never simply swipe them off the internet.

Oh Anonymous, really you are too kind.  The hundreds of dollars I spend every week on bringing my readers quality photographs of professional cyclists pales in comparison to the thousands I spend on photographs of scantily clad women on bicycles.  THOSE are the really expensive ones!  I kid, I kid.  Really - any money I spend is worth the sense of satisfaction I feel when I think that perhaps I've brought a smile to your face, or a tear to your eye with one of them.  It's the least I can do, especially when you consider just how lucrative this blog has become.  Why, my only sponsor has never even cut me a check - but I cannot bring myself to take down their link, because I really dig their product!  (It's really helping me fight a scorching case of pubic lice) Do I care?  Not at all - because I am paid in something more than just money, Anonymous.  I am paid in the good will of readers just like you.  So thank you.  My dedication is to you kind sir, or madam.....and to the power to "right click" and "save as".  That said - I do try to give credit to photographers when possible.  But alas, the InterWeb has become a vast and wild sea of imagery, and I am but a wayward  rubber ducky floating upon it who bumps into said photos and collects them.  Often - it's impossible to know their site of true origin, but I love and share them nonetheless.  And when I do know from whence they have come, will continue to give credit where credit is due.

And having said all that, here are some photos that damn near bankrupted me, so I hope you enjoy them!  Firstly, today is a huge day of unveiling!  You may think I'm referring to the revealing of the 2012 Tour de France route that occured today in Paris, but no - I'm speaking of Justin Bieber releasing his new Christmas single titled "Mistletoe" today!  Can you believe it?  Christmas is only 9 short weeks away?  How dare he make us wait so long.
I want to Belieb I didn't pay anything for this photo.
But what about all that Tour de France nonsense?  Yeah - that happened today as well.  The ASO busted out the red carpet and the cycling elite were all in attendance and absolutely riveted by the presentation.
Spaniards Sammy Sanchez and Bertie were busy fingerbanging themselves in the mouth while some other shleprock studied the insides of his eyelids (link). 
Meanwhile, no one in the second row could hear a god-damned thing because of some irritating nibbling sound that was echoing throughout the hall.
The entire front row finally got up and moved after Tommy Voekler spit his chewed off thumbnail on to the back of Thor Hushovd's neck.  Cavendouche tried to throw a rainbow-flavored stink-eye his way, but Voekler just thought he was practicing how to look more French in honor of the occasion and never noticed.  And some poor dude in the third row tickled his own frontal cortex with his index finger digging for a maillot nugget. (link).
Norwegian cyclist Edvald Boasson Hagen (aka Eddie Bo-Hog) couldn't attend the festivities in Paris as he was busy in Norway throwing axes, building Legos and "hitting the nail"?

I'm really not sure if "hitting the nail" is some kind of Norwegian euphemism, but thankfully the article spared us from any such visualization of Eddie playing Legos or "hitting his nail" and just showed him chucking a rather menacing axe.
Those Norwegians know how to kick up their heels.

And in case anyone is keeping track, the cost of using the photos to generate this post was $413.23 which is surprisingly less than what I budgeted for because Bieber's people actually paid me to show that photo.  Don't say I never did anything for you, Anonymous!


  1. Cha-Ching! Why's every body making money, but me? (I kid. I expect to win the lottery any day now).

    The maillot nugget digger can be seen by click here. (unfortunately yahoo's sport gallery rotates the images.

  2. If the Bieber ever showed up at a cross race with that bike he would beat Poobah and 3/4 of the other COMO spandex wearers. Anyone seen the clips of the Biebs playing basketball against NBA players?

    That kid has more athletic ability than singing ability. That's really saying something, because his voice came straight from heaven. I get a little choked up just thinking about it. Sometimes when I think this world is just too awful of a place to live in, I listen to Bieber and realize that everything is A-ok.

  3. Wow. I sincerely hope that the person who left the previous comment was not being facetious.

  4. Do you not think the Biebs is all that? Not only did his voice come straight from heaven he even looks like an angel!