Friday, October 14, 2011

Friday Mail - All Bubba's Eve

First order of business today....I think someone just asked me out!  In an unexpected turn of events, when I logged on to Facebook this morning, I noticed I had message!  Apparently someone named Brent Hugh with the Missouri Bicycle Federation has invited me to do an organized ride with him this weekend!

 Mr. Hugh, thank you so much for the invitation to join you. I haven't been asked out on a date in a long time - so honestly, I have to admit to being a little flattered.  However, I'm kind of seeing someone now, so could not possibly show up to this ride with you.  I hope you understand.  It really does sound like a lot of fun despite the fact that I don't harvest anything and wouldn't even know how to go about riding a pumpkin.  But still - I'm guessing many of my readers may be interested - and they should check it out!

Second order of business today.....The Bubba Cross Cyclocross series begins tomorrow night in Queeny Park, St. Louis.  If you are more Kansas-ly inclined, you can do the Joules Cross in Lawrence which also starts tomorrow.
Ok enough of all that - let's get to the mail!

Dear PooBah-
What do you think the most prestigious single-day bicycle race is?  Paris-Roubaix?  Liege-Bastogne-Liege?  Milan-San Remo?
Greg K
Lexington, KY
Not even close.  It's got to be the Cobble Wobble race in Frome, England.

Dear PooBah,
Remember the old "what's grosser than gross" jokes we used to tell each other on the playground back in the day?  Like trying to commit suicide by jumping out of a 12 story building only to catch your nostril on a rusty nail on the way down?  I love that stuff.  Anyway - I thought I would share with you a grosser than gross nose-related cycling photo taken at the Superprestige Ruddervoorde cross race.
Linda T.
That's weak.  Try Laurens Ten Dam after his face-plant at the 2011 Tour de France.

Dear PooBah,
On Wednesday, you were bitching about your size and using it as an excuse as to why you suck so bad in cyclocross.  Well just for clarification, professional cyclocross racer Ryan Trebon is not 6'1" like you reported....the dude is 6'8" as reported here.  There is no way you are taller than he is - so suck it up!
Alex C.
Thanks for your kind words of support.  After learning how tall he is, I'm encouraged to give cross another go.....well that and the bike I bought through Craigslist from a dude in Ashland which should help my cornering ability significantly.

Dear PooBah,
As Halloween is approaching rapidly, I anticipate the number of cyclists donning costumes for cyclocross races to increase exponentially.  The fans love this, but my concern lies with the ability of racers to get through the courses safely with occasionally cumbersome Halloween outfits.  My question is - have you ever seen a costume-related injury during a cross race, and how bad was it?
Thank you
Paul M.

I sure have.  It happened at Spooky Cross last year.  A Masters 40+ Cat 4 cross-dresser took an 18" barrier to the face when he tripped on his own fishnets.  It took two Oompa-Loompas and a couple of Easter bunnies to help get the guy to the ambulance.

Dear PooBah,
The video of the antelope attacking the cyclist that made worldwide headlines this week really freaked me out!  I too race in South Africa and see antelope frequently when I'm training in the bush.  Such interactions between these animals and cyclists are not as uncommon as one might think.  Is there anything I could wear that might help to scare them away?  I don't want to suffer the same fate as the MTB racer featured in the YouTube video this week.
Roberta J.
You've got to make yourself look more like a natural predator to the antelope.  I'm putting one these outfits in the mail to you - wear it at all times!

Dear PooBah,
I heard you like to rollerblade in the off season to cross train and even race now and then. I got a tip that you were in a race this past weekend as a matter of fact.  I managed to get a photograph of the sprint finish.  Will you give me a hint which one you are?
George P.

Damn, I'm busted.  Well all I can say is that I've got a weakness green lycra.

Dear PooBah-
I bought a unicycle several months ago but just cannot seem to learn to ride the damn thing.  The guy that sold it to me threw in free weekly riding lessons at his place, which I attend regularly.  He said that for whatever reason, wearing red makes it easier to ride - but for the life of me, I cannot figure out why this would be the case.  Is there any credence to this?
Thank you
Jenny T.

Yeah - I think he's on to something.  Persistence will pay off!  Keep at it and keep me posted...

Have a great weekend everyone - thanks for the letters!


  1. It's amazing that you pay all of that money for the usage rights for photographs of professional bicyclists. That must cost you hundreds of dollars per week. You are one dedicated blogger, because we all know that you would never simply swipe them off the internet.

  2. Poobah, that Spooky Cross pic is disturbing on so many levels!

    There is a guy in my town that has a bike hinged in the middle that he rides around occasionally. It looks perfectly normal until he swings the bars left or right. Shocking the first time you see it.

  3. Hey nonny mouse! Do you really know what you're talking about?

    All copyrighted images may be used by anyone and without permission of the copyright holder for purposes of criticism and parody.

    Poobah, Non te ergo adulteri mole!

    Keep up your awesome parody and criticisms of professional cyclist et. al.

  4. Sorry Poobah, my Latin translator is a little rusty. I meant to say, "Illegitimi non carborundum" which roughly translates to, "Don't let the bastards grind you down."