Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Resurrect Dead: Summer recap and groin wounds.

Holy God, what a shit, movie.  What better way to once again, resurrect a shit blog?

Last winter, the GEEC and I saw another, much better move, entitled "Resurrect Dead" at the True/False film festival.  It has absolutely nothing to do with cycling, or blogging, but I was reminded of it this past weekend, by title only, when a very good friend chastized me for abandoning COMO CYCO for the summer.  I mean - what are friends for if not berating you?  It started me thinking that maybe I should get the band back together...That, in combination with the fact that despite me not answering my email in like 4 months, people keep sending me shit.  What the hell?  I maintained this blog for a year and a half to the sound of crickets and lonely tumbleweed blowing by with nary a response, snigger, or comment....and I roll over and play dead for a few months and the mailbag starts filling up?  Oh COMO cycling world - you are a fickle, tough nut to crack.

So what do I do, try once again?  What's the harm? A few wasted minutes of my day serving you up the latest slop?  Even fewer wasted minutes on your part skipping over said slop in search for photos of semi-clothed people on bicycles?  Well, truth be told - I've missed you, dear readers.  In all of your infinite silence and reticence, I still seek your company.

With that said - let's try to play catch up on what we've missed this summer.
#1) There was this big race in France in July won by somebody named Cadel Evans.  This was celebrated by virtually dozens of Aussies, probably most splendidly by these two in particular. The first guy unfortunately falls prey to the all-too common drawback of wearing a cape as a superhero.

Winning the Tour de France, of course, is quite an accomplishment and one for which Cadel should be very proud.  But despite how amazing an achievement the overall victory was, in my mind, it paled in comparison to some of his single day performances, like this one.

It's good to see Cadel back on form.  And who could be more deserving to be the recipient of Evans' backwash than Cavendouche himself.

#2) Many a cycling-related vacation was taken by COMO cyclists.  And some of these adventures were captured on film!  The most surprising of which has to be our beloved Josh from Walt's who was caught yelling at the camerman while portaging a fixie in the hills above Los Angeles!

The most disturbing thing about this photo is that he is not riding the Waterford.

 #3) There was a big race in Colorado during which this guy who somehow miraculously only gets better the older he gets wins.  As another dear friend instructed me after the stage in Crested Butte, "Big foreheads = steroids."
Jesus, I hope the little guy is clean....

Regardless, the crowds in Colorado still proved themselve classy to the Euro-elite.
This is most likely because most of them were Missourians who elected to spend their tourism dollars in Colorado versus in our home state since our brilliant Governor shit-canned the Tour of Missouri.  Thanks Gov. Nixon!

#4) Poor Tom Boonen suffers insult on top of injury (quite literally) by growing another body hole prior to fracturing a bone in his hand.

"The perineum, the area between the scrotum and the anus, is simply the most delicate part of the body," said Tom.

Poor Tom tore his in the Vuelta.  Not.  Good. 

"Because of the friction of the pants with the saddle, I suffer from an unjury to the scrotum.  The extreme heat and excessive sweating caused a heavy irritation in that area.  There is a hole."

#5) And speaking of heavy irritations to the groin, the cycling world confirms once again that the best way to validate a rumor is to deny it emphatically.  No, I'm not speaking of Lance.  I'm speaking of the new "merger" between Trek Leopard and RadioShack.

Yup, that chamois-muncher Hog, did it!  Kudos to him and his soon to be heavily liquidated staff for both moving the team to Europe and the impending lay-offs to a shit-ton of hard-working soigneurs, mechanics and cooks.  Even bigger kudos go to Leopard owner Flavio Becca for not telling his cyclists about the change!  However, like a rat jumping from a sinking boat, Levi clearly sensed the rising water in time to plunge over to Omega-Pharma days before the announcement was made.  No word yet on how his equally large-foreheaded and aged colleague Chris Horner will deal with the loss, but by his Twitter account, it looks like he's taking the Goonie philosophy on it.
If anybody busts him doing the truffle shuffle, send me video, please.

That's all for today, kids.  It's good to be back.  Thanks to all who sent me links to the stories...



  1. Thank God you have returned...I was going to have to start reading the Bike Snob NYC again.

  2. Ugh. Now I have to take time out of my busy schedule to read this smut every day.

    But seriously, glad to see some new material on here. Welcome back.

  3. Three huzzas - Poobah's back. Not awesome... aweLOTS!