Friday, September 23, 2011

Friday Mail: Be careful what you wish for!

Man, what a week.  I love this time of year.  Not for the cooler weather and pleasurable cycling, or the start of cyclocross season, or the longer gravel rides that meander through the colorful mid-Missouri backwoods.....but for new seasons of TV shows!  And this year reality TV has taken massive leaps forward.  Is anyone else watching Hillbilly Hand Fishin'?

How about Whisker Wars?

With entertainment options like this, it's going to be hard for me to peel myself away from the tube to actually spend any time on the bike this fall....Dammit I hate having to make tough choices.

Anyway - I won't belabor you with the struggles I deal with on a daily basis....instead - let's jump into the mailbag.

Dear PooBah,
I'm the CleanBottle mascot that you may have seen gracing the side of the road at the recent Amgen Tour of California.  I'm writing to you because I'm having some self-confidence issues.  As far as mascots go, I don't think people perceive a bottle as that happy or fun.  I mean - who wants to dance or get crazy with a stupid bottle - right?
Thanks for listening -
The CleanBottle

Don't get down on yourself, man!  It's not all that bad being you!  After all - you do get to take off both your top and bottom occasionally - right?  That must be fun.  And remember, sometimes mascots can be a little TOO happy...Take the Amarillo GoldSox for example...

And look at the bright WADA continues its war on doping in the peloton - you could have ended up being this.

Dear PooBah,
I was cruising around the internet the other day and found this awesome collection of cycling-related Lego-block sets over at!  This only makes sense since Denmark is the home to both Lego and one of richest cycling cultures in the world.  I want to purchase one of these for my kid but don't know which one to get first.  Any suggestions?
Dieter F.

Well, if it were me - I'd probably go for the Lego Team Telekom-era Jan Ulrich set....

Or the "sustainable warfare" set featuring a hot Lego babe riding a bicycle while toting a Kalishnikov.

Dear PooBah,
Are you familiar with the term "photobombing?"  Essentially it means to jump into a photograph that is being taken of something or someone else at the last minute to inentionally sabotage it.  Well, check out this photo I found of Floyd Landis photobombing a Livestrong billboard in Times Square.  This is priceless!
Kyle B.

Yeah - that's pretty good....but still not as impressive as this picture of Kate Beckinsale getting GingerBombed....
Nobody saw that one coming.....

Or how about this Verne Troyer MiniBomb....


Dear PooBah,
I'm on my way to my 50th Star Trek convention in Orlando and am so excited.  This is a huge milestone for me and the organizers are actually going to reward me for my dedication with a special certificate presented by the guy who did sound engineering for 3 episodes of the show.  I'm so excited!  As an avid cyclist - I'm going to be riding my special Enterprise bicycle all the way there!  What do you think?
Philip T.

That is exciting indeed!  Just make sure you don't forget your special Star Trek issued cycling shorts...

Dear PooBah,
I've heard rumor that Columbia is going to get its very own cyclocross race soon!  Do you know anything about it?  Will it have a theme?  If so - I'd like to suggest one:  BIKINICROSS!
Carl G.
Be careful what you wish for...

Have a great weekend, everyone!

1 comment:

  1. I admit it. I'm a fan of the hillbilly handfishing show. I stumbled upon that goofiness and couldn't change the channel.