Friday, May 14, 2010

Friday Mail and Weekend Update

Friday is here at last, and despite the lingering effects of some wicked jet lag, I think I'm finally busting the cobwebs out of my head.  It didn't hurt that while I was macking on my Count Chocula this morning, the song "Everybody's Working For the Weekend" came on the radio.....yeaaaahhhh - that's the way to start a Friday....the Count and Loverboy.....Damn, life can be so sweet sometimes.
But I digress.  There is a lot going on this weekend - so head's up.

Saturday the 15th:
Local news - The Hellbender crit is happening in Fort Leonard Wood, MO on Saturday.  If you wanted to race, but didn't register already, you are SOL....registration was due on the 10th.  This is also the last day you get the discounted registration rate for the upcoming Pedaler's Jamboree as well.  The Jamboree goes down on the 29th and 30th and is not to be missed.  We'll have more about this later.

Not so local news - Stage 7 of the Giro d'Italia: Carrara-Montalcino 222km.  Here's how Cyclingnews describes this one:

"Today's route has real spice.  It pays tribute to Tuscany's own Gino Bartali on the tenth anniversary of his death by including sections on many of his favourite training roads around his home in Ponte a Ema, close to Florence.  It starts straightforwardly enough but becomes trickier as it passes through Volterra, a World Heritage site that's one of the region's most stunning hill-top towns....."

Check it out on Universal Sports.

Sunday the 16th:
Local news: Rhett's Run MTB race in Cosmo Park here in COMO.  The next installment of the 2010 Midwest Fat Tire Point Series.  The chance of spotty rain could make this one a bit sketchy...definitely worth checking out...And the Hellbender Road Race is today as well.

Not so local news:
Giro d'Italia - Stage 8: Chianciano - Monte Terminillo.  The road finally turns seriously upward in the Giro with the first summit finish on the Terminillo.  Head's up about 7km from the finish where the gradient kicks it up a notch as the race pays another homage to Bartali who won here in 1937.
Tour of California - The kickoff this year is not a prlogue time trial, but rather a flat stage from Nevada City to Sacramento, 167.8 km.  Look out for Cavendouche to try to take the day and make an early statement.

And with that - I bring you a few letters from the mailbag.

Dear PooBah-
Glad you're back.  I was getting concerned.  I was going to start listening to the police scanner, but then I remembered I don't own one.

Thanks for the concern.  You never can be too to my knowledge, the one-armed-man is still lurking about somewhere in COMO.

Dear PooBah-
Have you heard about the Bicycle Haiku Contest being held by the Sierra Club?  The winner wins an incredibly ugly bicycle.  The website has all the details.  Are you going to enter?  Remember the rules...5 syllables, 7, then 5.
Shirley G.

Already have.  Here was my entry, which is an ode to my bike saddle.  Hope I win!!

My Specialized Toupe
Most intense, searing taint pain
Oh, frightened turtle

Dear PooBah
I remember many months ago when you wrote a piece on selecting a decent bike saddle and suggested that for men, someone should design an equivalent to the Scottish chair for kilt wearers, seen below.
Has anyone taken your advice and come up with anything yet?  Inquiring minds want to know!
Connor M.

Actually, someone has applied for a patent for a bike saddle with an adjustable testicular receptacle that can be adjusted to the specific riders genitalic girth. (Note cavity labelled #64).

I realize that there is only a single depression in this saddle, in contrast to the double cavity seen in the Scottish chair in the aforementioned photo.  But perhaps being of obvious Highlander descent, you can ascribe to the Lance Armstrong philosphy of testicular management on a bike saddle, "There can be only one."

Dear PooBah
I know that you have a certain interest in tattoos, so I couldn't help but send you a picture of the new one I got last week.  What do you think?
John P.

Wow - it's almost like you have your very own virtual topless women at your constant disposal to grope all day long.....except that it's actually your own nipple......and with your tattooed companion's second one, that actually gives you three.....which, if you didn't know, is a condition called polythelia, or "the triple nipple."  The only problem is, her second one (your third) is only ink.  Why not cover it up with one of these and have a little more fun?

Have a great weekend everyone -



  1. Hey Poooh BAH You can register for the Fort Lost in the Woods Crit same day. The registartation is just outside of the fort at the Donut shop. You can also register for the Hellbender Road Race same day :) Just wanted to make sure nobody feels left out.


  2. 2 things: 1st I almost laughed my "you know what" off when I saw the photo of the Scottish chair. 2nd, I started to freak out that tomorrow's crit was a pre-register race only (as was Hermann). I called the man who knows.... Aaro (chief official) and he calmed me down. Anyway, good post today otherwise!