Not all of you may read the comments left by the few readers that the COMO CYCO blog actually has. But if you do, you may have noticed a recurrent theme as of late. Especially after yesterday's post which featured a picture of a frozen heart-shaped dog turd that I encountered on my way to work. Now, I realize that many of you may not have found this photograph as amusing as I did. And I admit that with the bitterly cold winter we have had, looking at a frozen pile of feces is probably the last thing anyone needs or requires to warm themselves up. So, whether it is the long, cold winter we have had, or the onset of giddyness in response to news of the sunny heat wave we are about to experience this weekend here in mid-Missouri, there has been a general outcry for more "girls on bikes."
First off, let me say that I'm ashamed of every one of you that has had such a desire, or worse, made such a suggestion. I value my female readership as I do female cyclists. I live with one, ride with many, and have had my ass handed to me by more than a few while climbing hills or sprinting for city limit signs. Insulting, embarassing or demeaning anyone is the last thing I would ever want to do.
However, I do feel the need to respond to comments and suggestions made to me. After all - this is the Columbia Missouri Cycling Cooperative and is thus "for and by" the good people of Columbia....and it seems that those persons with "burritos in their pockets" have spoken loudest lately. Therefore, it is under great duress that I have decided to bow to the coercion of the commentors and forego the typical Friday Mail post for one more week. Thus, in the spirit of the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, I bring you the entirely male-oriented 2011 COMO CYCO Swimsuit(esque) Edition: Putting this together was an arduous task to say the least. So, enjoy, you pigs.....
And last, but certainly not least:
There - are you happy now, you bunch of horn-dogs?
Have a great weekend, everyone. Ride safe and enjoy the weather!
Yesterday we discussed one way in which professional cyclists mark their success by personalizing their bikes and gear. But how is success marked by bloggers? Initially I thought I had achieved some measure of success by the gradual waning of the hate mail......but then realized a new level of achievement when I received a case of free pomegranate juice. But early this morning, I discovered another accolade that had been bestowed upon me for which I feel largely undeserving. Those that choose to waste time reading this blog instead of doing far more productive things (like cutting their toenails or organizing their sock drawers) know that upon occasion, I put a photograph of a scantily clad woman with a bicycle on the pages within. Such has been the inspiration from a gratuitous site called Chicks and Bikes, which features photographs of a subject matter one can guess from the title that may or may not be safe for work, depending on the day.
And as can be seen from the example above, the photographs on any given day may be more about the 'chicks' and less about the 'bikes' as one has to look with some effort to see the partial shadow of a bicycle on the pavement alonside these lovely ladies in this particular shot.
As I arrived at my place of work this morning, I started the day with my typical routine....try to dodge the plucky phone operator who always wants to chat with me, switch the mail in several co-workers mailboxes, activate the autoreply function of my email to let everyone know I will be in a meeting from 7:00 to 8:00, create a fictious excel spread sheet to consume my monitor and then open up Chicks and Bikes in a window that can be easily concealed by said spread sheet at a moment's notice. And this morning, what did I discover?
Alongside a women clad in the retro-way fashion, reposed upon the torn pages of a magazine advertising bicycles, I saw this blog's name on the blog roll list, positioned between the 'Chic Cyclist' and 'Copenhagen Cycle Chic', as though I was in a 'Chic' menage-a-trois! All at once I was both excited and afraid.
My fears stem from two things: #1) I have an overwhelming Wayne and Garth-esque "I'm not worthy" trepidation and am quite concerned I won't be able to live up to the pressure that being on such a blog roll instills in supplying the mothership with more "sexy-female-oriented-bicycling" photos. #2) I don't want to offend any women who might read these pages by my excitment for the aforementioned association which can only be descibed as juvenile.
Thus, being inspired by the non-partisan message of our president last night, I bring you two gratuitous sexy cycling photos which should please whichever gender-way you choose to associate with. Before you scroll further, click here to assist with the concealment of the photos that follow.
For Chicks and Bikes:
For the ladies:
And speaking of watching the POTUS last evening, the COMO CYCO dog and I finally put our Xmas presents to good use as we fell asleep on the couch, each tucked away in our respective Snuggies. In order to protect the anonymity of us both, I've chosen to use a photograph of models representing what we looked like:
I understand that remaining anonymous might be frustrating to the 6 people who actually read this blog. Therefore, I thought I would actually break down and show a brief video that captured me in my cycling prime, several years ago, when I was living and racing in Europe.
This is of obvious little help in identifying me if you don't know anything about me.......so I captured a still frame to help you pick me out.
Even though the differences that distinguish me from the field are subtle, here are the keys to knowing this is me:
1) I've fallen off the back.
2) I'm rather large and a little hairy.
3) I have no teammates.
4) I'm trying like a mo-fo to catch a draft off of somebody (anybody)...but no one will have any of it.
I'm not the only one out there looking for a team. Floyd Landis is still without a team having not yet signed with Rock Racing. And despite Michael Ball declaring that "Rock's Not Dead!"...Rock Racing might be. They have been denied a Professional Continental license by the UCI, and now Ball is considering moving the team to Mexico, Venzuela or Colombia just to get a license to race this year. Despite all of this, Landis recently rode in the Tour of the Bahamas last week wearing Rock kit, where he broke the time trial course record previously set by David Zabriskie while not even riding a TT bike. When asked about his future with Rock, he said:
"I honestly don't know. I don't know even if Ball has thought about the team these last two weeks. I don't know what is going on. I'm focusing on my training and my bowling. I need to think of my future after cycling and bowling might be it."
Having a back-up plan is always a good idea. Should my day job ever fall through, I've already submitted my resumee to the Snuggie corporation for product development. I've invented a modification which is a crumb catcher pouch on the front for when I'm eating crackers and cheese in my Snuggie.
