Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Riding for free: Dodging the Chicken

So much for going "trainer-less" this winter.  Seeing all the white fluffy stuff this morning reminded me of one of those old stop-motion Christmas specials my sister and I used to watch as kids.  Our favorite was the one with HeatMiser and FreezeMiser.  And that reminded me again of team Leopard's (pronounced LAY-O-PARD) resident ginger kid, Dominic Klemme.
Klemme vs. Heat Miser: It would be cool to see them go at it in a Celebrity Death-Match kind of fight...wouldn't it?  Although it would probably be a little too homoerotic for me since they'd likely be slathered up in their 120 SPF and all greasy.

And speaking of fantasy Celebrity Death Match pairings, there's another one within the world of cycling that would be a true epic battle....one between a fox and a wolf, of sorts.  Thanks to the reader who sent me this video of the infamous BikerFox who attempted to compile a montage of bike tricks as an audition tape to get onto the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

(my favorite trick is the BikerFox Hop at 27 seconds into the video)

Now imagine BikerFox in a battle of wits with the Gray Wolf:

($16,300 with tax and shipping in the bike, and a sweet-ass paint-penned do-rag that should NEVER be covered with a helmet...don't miss his advice at 4:04).

And speaking of possible future throw-downs, I'm sure many of you have heard that Danilo Di Luca is on the brink of his comeback following an abbreviated suspension he served for testing positive for CERA during the 2009 Giro d'Italia in which he finished in 2nd place behind Denis Menchov.  In a round-about way, this could lead to a possible conflict between Katusha director Andre Tchmil and UCI president Pat McQuaid.  Let me explain:  Last month Di Luca publicly admitted to doping in front of 500 school children during a seminar which was organized by an Italian Priest named Marco Pozza.  According to the story on Cyclingnews, the priest, who used to race with Filippo Pozzato as boys, met Di Luca on a train by chance, and subsequently inspired him to confess his cycling sins in front of the children as encouragement to take a new, cleaner path.  Although his conscience is now clear, 'The Killer' is without a team.  Until now that is.  Apparently Di Luca has turned down an offer to ride with Michael Rasmussen and Christina Watches to ride for  no salary for Andre Tchmil and his Katusha squad instead.

Several thoughts: 
#1: Can shit get any worse for Rasmussen, aka 'The Chicken'?  Disgraced cyclists would now prefer to ride for no money than to have to ride in the Christina Watches coop.  How can you blame Di Luca, really.  Especially when the Christina Watches team just announced their goals for this year in a press conference as reported in the Copenhagen post.
Nothing like shooting for the stars.

And how did the Chicken take the news of striving to be #2?

(Two out of three Christina Watches Team leaders are happy about 2nd place).

#2.  How will Di Luca do with team Katusha?  The UCI says that Katusha is legally obligated to pay him a salary or they cannot hire him.  Maybe Katusha directeur Andre Tchmil has something up his sleeve we don't know about.
Tchmil, center, is either playing the Russian version of  "rock, paper, scissors" called "rock, rock, rock" in this photo to decide which of his fellow directors is going to try to sweet-talk the UCI into letting Di Luca ride for free, or they are demonstrating the method they will use to give Pat McQuaid a handjob to let the deal go through.

I'm guessing it will be Tchmil himself that will try to "grease the wheels" with Pat McQuaid as his double-fisted grip technique is legendary (possibly from extensive double-shake weight training?)

I think I'll stick with the ginger-kid fight....


  1. the bocomo peleton has its own ginger kid whom looks surprisingly like mr Dominic Klemme..... http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=15938420&ref=ts

    im positive he would take out the HeatMiser

  2. I'll fight Dominic Klemme, fuck i will fight them both at the same time!

  3. Good Lord, someone has awakened "The Benji"!

    Benji, I would bet my house that you would be victorious. It wouldn't even be close.

    Easy big guy, harness that rage for the final sprint.