Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Naked Bike Ride St. Louis 2010: NSFV (Not Safe For Vegetables)

I returned to work this week after a blistering hot weekend wondering the following things.....

1) What happened to springtime in Missouri?
2) When did the COMO CYCO dog eat $58?
3) How did the naked bike ride go in St. Louis?

I cannot provide all the answers to these questions but I will try to shed a little light on some of them.

1) Spring was cancelled in Missouri for 2010 by Governor Nixon at the same time he cancelled the Tour of Missouri.  There will be nothing conducive to enjoyable cycling in Missouri this year.

2) I have no idea, but a big thanks to the poop scooper who returned it!

3)  I give you the photos of Naked Bike Ride St. Louis as published by the Riverfront Times.

Unbeknownst to me, apparently the naked ride was both protesting the use of oil, and promoting the growth of ferns.

She definitely got it closer....

There were other "vegetation-themed" outfits...
Observe the gentleman on the left.  I believe that having sex with a bell pepper may be illegal in Missouri (but not Arkansas) and falls within the "vegiality" classification of sex crimes.  But as his partner (the non-vegetable partner that is) is quick to point out, "SWEAT NOT OIL" was the the theme of the day, which was probably ensured if he got a pepper seed lodged in his urethra.

Is that Cyclextreme's Tom Brinker incognito wearing a moustache, sombrero and speedo?

I'm perplexed by this fellow's willingness to ride in a banana sling but somehow still feeling as though he would require a CamelBak and riding gloves for the ardous 10 mile journey.

Many cyclists painted the BP logo on their bodies in clear protest of 'big oil", while others chose to draw the Star Trek insignia upon themselves in protest of this viral video.

In the spirit of promoting confidence in one's body image (another goal of the Naked Bike Ride) any number of cyclists proudly took off their bras and bared their breasts.....

.....while other chose to use their mammaries as rather grim and aggressive messages....like this guy who turned his nipples into the glowing red eyes of a skull...
Or this woman who used her breasts as a billboard to display the letters 'F' and 'U'...

...which I'm guessing stands for "Fake Udder?"


  1. It was great to see you at this years ride. Thanks for reporting.

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