Dear PooBah: Reader Mail

It's Friday and time for reader mail.

I thought I would start with some comments generated from yesterday's post which generated a bit of a stir.

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Comment #1:
shamblefort said...
"There is a thread on leagueofbikepolo.com that has a bunch of people complaining about how the BFF ran the show. Worth reading!"
Love,
COMOPOLO member


Dear Mr. Shamblefort,
After reading your comment, I realized how completely ignorant I was to the Bicycle Film Festival (BFF)project and its relationship with Bike Polo tournaments worldwide, so I spent some time reading the reference you supplied at www.leagueofbikepolo.com.  It sounds as though much of the controversy of the BFF surrounds certain demands they place on tourneys they co-sponsor and then, more particularly, with the founder and director of BFF, Mr. Brendt Barbur, pictured here:

There are lots of interviews with Mr. Barbur online, and even more accounts of interesting interactions people have had with him.  One online interview with Barbur at Pedal Pushers Online reveals his initiation in the world of cycling advocacy:

According to this interview, Barbur was an actor living in California when he was hit by a bus while riding his bike, and decided to go activist on the non-cycling community at large by forming the BFF which he says is most important in "impacting Urban Bike Culture."  The interviewer, Gary, asked Barbur to define Urban Bike Culture, to which he replied, "I think it is people who ride daily in there [sic] life, let's keep it at that."  It's always good not to be too specific about anything when tyring to identify with a demographic.

Back over to the league of bike polo's still active forum thread on the BFF, opinions on the guy and the BFF's involvement in tourneys sway widely but seems to reflect the following.  American bike polo tourneys have not shared many positive sentiments, but he is apparently loved in London and Paris.  One particular instance reported by League member "anniegetyourbike" describes how a very slovenly drunk Barbur repeatedly forced himself onto her after the Austin BFF in 2008 and then verbally chastised her when she refused him.  Other reports describe how Barbur wanted to relocate the location of certain tourneys to take place in front of giant movie screens to help build enthusiasm for the film portion of the events.  And then there are the stories of the shady financial dealings. 

So what explains the European love for him?  Perhaps it is a cultural familiarity with his gregarious flare and sexual predatorial whimsy.  There is, after all, something to be said for being confident and possessing the ability to establish one's own territory to be a good leader.  Take, for example, this photo of him I copied from the aforementioned Pedal Pusher interview in which he is actually lifting his leg and urinating on someone else's bicycle that was chained to a post he had previously claimed as his own, not unlike what the alpha male of a pack of wolves would do.

The caption on the photo would have us believe otherwise, however, stating "After the interview, Brendt mounted his single-speed and showed the proof in his convictions by riding off into the rainy NYC streets."  Ah yes.  Nothing proves one's convictions quite like riding a single-speed in the rain.  I'm surprised small childern and women didn't gather in the rain-soaked wake he left on that city street and offer up a solemn prayer for the future of the lone-cycling cowboy that is Brendt Barbur, as he rode off in pursuit of promoting bicycling advocacy and drunken sexual harassment.

Thanks, Mr. Shamblefort, for the head's up.

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Comment #2:

Janese Heavin said...

Actually, my story began with this:
"It’s just too early to tell whether efforts to promote nonmotorized transportation in Columbia are working, advocates say. Early counts, though, show a mixed bag of results."


The line you referenced about fewer using the altered site was actually a sub headline written by my editor.
Just wanted to clarify.
-- Janese Heavin


Dear Ms. Heavin:
Thank you for reading my commentary, and also for your clarification.  You are correct in that I selectively lifted the most controversial component of your piece for discussion purposes.  I did so because it is the phrase that seems to be drawing the most ire from the non-cyclists in our community.  As premature examination of incomplete studies can often be misleading, so too can selective referencing.  But perhaps your editor should have chosen a sub-headline of, "More data required" to reflect your most accurate opening line of "It's just too early to tell whether efforts to promote nonmotorized transportation in Columbia are working..."

And GetAbout Columbia needs to conduct some real scientific observation with some accurate statistical analysis to determine the truth of the status of bicycle commuting in Columbia.

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Dear PooBah,


I just received my recent edition of Paste Magazine, which is dedicated to a bunch of "Best Of" lists for the rapidly ending decade.  In it is an article on the evolution of the hipster over the past 10 years.  Check out how far hipsterdom has evolved by 2008:

2008: THE WILLIAMSBURG:  He thoughtfully hangs shutter shades in the deep-V of his white tee, and he's often seen walking his fixed-gear bike around town while texting with his phone.

Do you think this extrapolation of the theory of evolution holds up to Darwinian scrutiny?
Thanks!
Marvin

Dear Marvin,
One of the pillars of the theory of evolution is that the teleological advancement of a species occurs through mutations.  Many mutations are bad for the species and result in the demise of the changed individuals.  But some of these mutations are coincidentally good for the species and allow them to better adapt to their environment, thus resulting in more survivability, hence the phrase survival of the fittest.  The important thing to remember is that all species have outside pressures on them from predatorial organisms.  It's tough to know for sure just by looking at a species what the survivability chances are.  After all - on paper, bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly.  But I'm guessing that if our 2008 hipster above keeps sporting that hat and moustache and doesn't learn to ride that bike really fast, instead of just walking it around town, he's in for a Wild Kingdom-style ass whoopin' that could mean certain extinction.

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Dear PooBah
The photo you used yesterday of Fast Freddie Rodriguez really bothered me.  I hate to think of him being groped from behind by some lecherous young woman.  I work with a lot of women.  Do you think someone could sneak up behind me like that???
Yours, Fearful

Dear Fearful-
You could only be so lucky.  No seriously, relax.  The birds do it, the bees do it, even educated fleas do it.....Hell, even bananas do it.

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Dear PooBah-

I was just recently in Belgium and went into a gracery store to pick up some beer.  You will never believe what I saw:  Tom Boonen pate called "Fresty Fresh".  What is this world coming to?

Thanks-

Disturbed

Dear Disturbed,

That's not nearly as disturbing as what I found on my toast this morning.......freeking Erik Estrada,

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Pedal on!

Cardiac Deficit Disorder

A couple of weeks ago the Columbia Tribune reported that results from infrastructural changes to our city completed with a $22 million federal grant intended to promote bicycling have been a "mixed bag" which provoked quite a lively response from readers.  This claim was based on the fact that one particular day in mid-September 2008, the number of cyclists that went through the Forum/Stadium intersection during a two-hour period was 50% less that the number that went through the same intersection on the same day in 2009.  This appears to be the grand total of the negative findings by which the author of the story, Ms. Janese Heavin, wrote the story's byline stating "Fewer using site altered for bikes." 

Here's a picture of Ms. Heavin:

This is like hypothetically observing that on September 14th, 2008 from 2:00 PM until 4:00 PM, bars in Columbia sold less beer than between those same hours on September 14th, 2009, thus prompting a conclusion that beer consumption is on the decline in Columbia, which I seriously doubt.

But based on this assumption, one reader (by the name of 'FatDaddy') made the following observations in his response to the article:

"-The controversial legislation and general condescention proffered by the activist lobby has alientated more people than the campaign has encouraged."
"-Our carbon footprint is exactly where it was"
"The obese fraction of the population is exactly where it has been"
"There were no decreases in the diagnosis of cardiac deficit on a percapita basis"
"22 million dollars were, for the most part, wasted"

I would like to take a moment to respond to his assertations using the exact same logic that the original article was based on, i.e., a sample size of one.  I have not been alientated by the new bike-friendly legislation, and my personal carbon footprint has absolutely been lowered by my increase in commuting this year, my body weight is actually lower this year than it was last year, and I don't feel as though the 22 million was wasted.  So based on examining a sample population equivalent to what the aforementioned study used in their examination of a single intersection on a single day of the year,  I hereby statistically refute each of his claims.  The only claim of FatDaddy's I cannot refute is the so called decrease in this mysterious condition he refers to as 'cardiac deficit' which would mean in medical terms, the condition of possessing no heart at all.  In fact I have to agree with him - I think there are MORE heartless people in COMO this holiday season now than ever before.

My evidence?  We need not look any further than the comments posted in the end-of-the-week Trib Talk in response to this article and other articles regarding the traffic in Columbia.

TribTalk comment #1:

"I just read in the GetAbout Columbia report that bikes on the MKT trail have increased 400 percent - sure thing.  And half of these riders shoot by without warning, nearly knocking pedestrians - who were there first - off the trail.  Put that in your report, you self-congratulatory bike fanatics."

TribTalk comment #2:

"I read with interest the interest the GetAbout people are going to report to the federal governement the numbers of bike riders and pedestrians using the new trails through town.  That makes about as much sense as a bunch of prisoners and convicts reporting about how many members of prisoners are assaulted or smuggle in illegal drugs each month."

TribTalk comment #3:

"...if some fool maniac with a bat jumps on the hood of your car, double-tap to the cariovascular triangle and fight back until the threat is eliminated.  These are counterinsurgency response procedures in place across the world, and this guy is what the Second Amendment is all about.  God Bless America."

What with all of this talk of "double-tapping" people's triangles, and cyclists who ride the trail being "fanatical" and "self-congratulatory" and "cardiac deficits" on the rise, how can one not think that COMO is becoming a heartless place and begin to despair.  It was just when I was having such dark thoughts on my commute home last night that I saw this car parked in a parking lot which then warmed my gloomy heart.

Scrawled on the back of this car's rear window was the phrase "I HAVE THE BEST BFF EVER".  In consulting with the Urban Dictionary, I learned that 'BFF' is an acronym that seemingly stands for "Best Friend Forever".  But that wouldn't make sense with its use in the above sentence, reading "I HAVE THE BEST BEST FRIEND FOREVER EVER."  If the writer wanted to cannote the typical meaning of BFF, he or she would have simply written "I HAVE THE BFF", correct?  Anyway, he or she can't have the BFF ever, because Fast Freddie Rodriguez of Rock Racing actually has the BFF ever as seen in a photo taken at a publicity event to market the new official sports drink of Rock Racing: the R3 Power Elixir.

I wonder if Freddie is getting his triangle double-tapped here?

So clearly the car-graffiti artist must have been referencing a different 'BFF' acronym.  Methinks he/she was referring to the Bicycle Film Festival that is making its way around the world (currently in New Orleans, Houston and Washington DC) but somehow managed to miss Columbia completely.

How can Columbia not play host to the BFF?  We have the True/False film festival, the Citizen Jane Festival, the Third Goal Film Festival.  Plus we have the perfect venues for such an event in RagTag and the Missouri Theatre.  Talk about heartless!  Consider this my impassioned plea to all those above to bring the BFF to Columbia so that we cycling fanatics can become even more self-congratulatory, but perhaps in the process help grow the size of our hearts exponentially.

Pedal On!