Valentine's Day: balls, brows and chickens....

A couple of days after Valentine's Day, and I feel I've been remiss for not even mentioning that most special of days here.  Of course, this day has significance in the world of cycling for several reasons, only one of which being the anniverary of Marco Pantani's death.  Aside from that, many think of Valentine's Day merely as one created by the card, candy and flower industries to make money...and that may very well be.  However, who can deny the special feeling one gets when given a Valentine's-themed special message of affection.  Take the tin of candy hearts I received in the mail yesterday from an anonymous reader who has obviously ridden with me at some point:

Reading these messages rang with such truth and clarity that it almost felt like it was summer again and I was at Thursday Night sprints.  Perhaps I'm not alone this Valentine's day in having bad memories conjured up as Portland, Oregon used the occasion to host its "Worst Day of the Year Ride."  As one would expect, photographs of the occasion depict Oregonian cyclists in full cupid and heart-related garb.  And apparently, so blessed is the Portland cycling community that their excrement is without odor such that their port-o-potties can be named "Honey Buckets."

I'm sure my constant ribbing of Portland must smack of envy to some, and if so I apologize. For we in COMO-ville should also feel blessed, which is the exact emotion I experienced while reading about the new Krankcycle fitness machine that was recently added to the local Wilson's Gym.

According to an article in the Columbia Tribune, "....the Krankcycle is designed to combine cardio with upper-body strength training," and thus, "It's an ideal cross-training workout for runners or cyclists who are trying to increase their cardiovascular fitness without overtraining their lower bodies."  The benefits of this machine are apparently multifactorial:

"The face of the Krankcycle flips over, and the saddle seat is removable, so users can add challenge to the their workouts by standing on BOSU trainers or sitting on Swiss balls."

I can't say for sure, but I think the challenge added by this seating arrangement would likely be more stringently felt by the Swiss man whose balls I was sitting on while Krank-cycling.  Especially if they were this Swiss guy's balls.

Curious about the Krankcycle, I checked out their website, and discovered that this machine is made by someone by the name of 'Johnny G'.  Apparently, he has a robot army of incredibly (and irritatingly happy)buff individuals that are so indoctrinated into the Johnny G. mantra of fitness, that each has the company logo branded on their lower abdomen.

Such is the dedication some have for their fitness and sport.  And speaking of dedication, who can doubt professional cyclist Michale Rasmussen's as he has declared he will actually give up his Danish citizenship and become Mexican to allow him to ride in the World Championships in Denmark in 2011 since the Danish Cycling Federation has stated that it will not nominate him to the national team.  Currently riding for Mexican Team Miche, Rasmussen (aka "the Chicken") has publicly stated his disappointment with the low-ranking status of his team, and not just over jealously that his teammate, Edwin Carvajal, is the reigning world champion in the Men's Unibrow.

His simultaneous disapproval of his current contract and eagerness to win the favors of a larger, European squad didn't stop Rasmussen from dropping out of the Tour Mediterranean last week, however, due to the cold weather.  I guess once a chicken, always a chicken.

Pedal on!

Scratching and barking: The road season begins

The folks at weather.com just straight up lied to us about the weather this past weekend.  What were supposed to be partly sunny days in the low 40's ended up being three consecutive days of a severe weather advisory based on the threat of freezing fog.  I can attest to the following things.  There was fog.  And it was freezing.  More specifically, my left ball to my right.

But with all the excitement of the return of pro-road racing, how could I resist not getting out there myself, despite how truly miserable I was.  One might think the exciting PRO road racing I'm speaking of is the Tour Down Under, and the return of epic battles between Armstrong and Evans, the introduction of an all-new powerhouse Team Sky, the re-formed BMC squad complete with both a world Champion and US Champion, and the debut of Team SHACK.  But you would be wrong on all counts.  The real story of the day is the Chicken!

No - not that Chicken.  I'm talking about the return of Michael Rasmussen, aka "the Chicken", to professional racing in Argentina at the Tour de San Luis.  In 2007 Rasmussen was fired by Team Rabobank while wearing the maillot jaune in the Tour de France because of numerous doping suspicions and curious absences in the weeks leading up to the tour. One would expect the return of any shamed cyclist to be a humble one, but this chicken apparently has talons that even Napolean Dynamite would fear as humility isn't quite the correct term to describe how he feels about his one-year contract with Italian team Miche.

"I had hoped to return to a higher level than this, but there is so much hypocrisy in cycling now, it was not possible." Rasmussen told the Danish daily Politiken, as written in VeloNews.  He goes on to say in another article "...for the team (Miche), they might have bigger options and different possibilities by signing me, it might open a few more doors in some senses.  That is why they are here (at the Tour de San Luis), they got the invitation because of me."

Henry Ford once said, "Business is never so healthy as when, like a chicken, it must do a certain amount of scratching for what it gets."  Scratch away Chicken, scratch away.

Someone who is not scratching these days is Andy Schleck, who was recently asked by Oakley to try out some new sunglasses for the day.  Cyclingnews just so happened to catch up with him and take multiple photographs of the session in which Kiko Garcia of Oakley asked for feedback from Andy and Frank on the prototype shades for this year's season.

And if the Chicken is scratching and the Shlecks are thieving, we need look no further than World Champion Cadel Evans to be positively barking.   If you've not heard, Cadel's motto has become "Don't stand on my dog!"   I'm a little worried about Cadel, honestly.  I visited his website shop to purchase my very own "Don't stand on my dog!" T-shirt, and found a picture of him modelling the shirt.

And when he arrived in Adelaide the other day to start the Tour Down Under, he was wearing the exact same thing, hat and bracelet included.  If you're not familiar with the "Don't stand on my dog" reference, you can read about it here.

Good to see he still has his sense of humor this season though!

Pedal on!