Friday Mail: Grey Manrod Retraction and Omloop Eve

First order of business today is a retraction the size of which would even impress Pat McQuaid regarding Wednesday's post about the Grey Manrod Associates lawfirm which is representing Floyd Landis in his dealings with the UCI.  As you are aware, NYVelocity publishes all of Mr. Landis' emails as well as those of his attorneys Sigmund A. Manrod and Chade O. Grey.  Well, after our Wednesday post, NYVelocity was less than happy with our accusation that Grey Manrod was a fictitious firm, and they tweeted the following message to the Manrod firm with a link to our post:

"People STILL think @GreyManrod is fake.  I'm sorry they don't believe in miracles"

I just want both GreyManrod and NYVelocity to know that we here at COMO CYCO are firm believers in both miracles and GreyManrod.  In an attempt to make amends, we would like to place an order for some GreyManrod merchandise, namely the gangsta' hat.

Do they come in any other colors?

We'd also like to extend an open invitation to Mr. Chade O. Grey to be interviewed via email exclusively for this blog.  Please email me if you are interested at comocyco@gmail.com.

Second order of business, for the reader who was still a little confused by Wednesday's post and wished for a more explicit explanation of the roles Pat McQuaid and Hein Verbruggen are playing in the Floyd Wars Saga, I hope this helps.

Emperor Verbruggen                    Darth McQuaid

(Feel free to cut and past their images in your Floyd Wars Saga schematic)

On to some Friday biznezz... this Friday is a special Friday.  Because this Friday is also known as Omloop's Eve so named because tomorrow is the first race of the Belgian road cycling season, called Omloop Het Nieuwsblad (pronounced "AM-loop het NEE-blah-blah").  But today, you can celebrate the Flanders classic by hanging a pair of your best sweaty, muddy cyclocross socks from the mantlepiece and rubbing your favorite pair of ornamental cobbles until St. Molenberg cycles across your front lawn and curses at you in Flemish.

St. Molenberg is the patron saint of sprinters, and as such was a great fan of blowing his own horn.

Oh, how I wish I was going to be on the snowy and muddy cobbled streets of Belgium this weekend.  However, as we cannot spend the weekend in Belgium and instead will be in glorious Missouri where the weather is beautiful and the roads are dry, let's be thankful for the smorgasbord of cycling events going on right here.  On Sunday the Froze Toes race is going down if you will be in COMO, and if you will be in St. Louis, you may want to check out the Death by Hills ride, put on by Team Seagal.

And now to a couple of letters:

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PooBah,
I just found out that PedNet will not be conducting their Cycle Recycle event this year due to a budget constraint.  Budget constraint?  How much money does it take to run that program?  I've enclosed a photograph of the bike that my son received last year at the event which should explain my frustration.


Sincerely,
Frustrated Columbia Resident

Frustrated,

To answer your first question first:

"Budget constraint?"  A budget constraint is defined by a situation in which limited funds make reprioritizing tasks necessary.

As to your second question:

"How much money does it take to run that program?" Approximately 40 million kroner.  Ok - I just made that up.  I have absolutely no idea. 

Lastly, to address your frustration:  First imagine how I feel!  I just learned that the seat on your kid's bike was swiped out of my front yard last year, dammit!  That was my best lawn chair....

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Dear PooBah,

I've got red hair.  I've noticed that upon occasion you like to make fun of people with red hair.  It's not cool, dude.  We deserve the same courtesy as cyclists with brown hair, blonde hair or no hair at all.  And you really need to lay off of Team Leopard's red-headed superstar Dominic Klemme as well.  The guy is my fricking hero.

Anonymous

Anonymous

OK, I promise.  I will lay off the ginger red-head jokes.  But regarding Klemme, come on, man....

Even Jens laughs at his ass....

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Dear PooBah,
Who is the scariest pro road cyclist?
Thanks!
Gerry T.

Gerry-
Man that's tough.  There's a lot of ways to define "scary"......there's scary good, there's scary intimidating, there's scary fast.....then there's scary looking.  I'm going to assume you're speaking of the last possibility - scary looking.  And for that I am reminded of an old Twilight Zone episode that freaked the shit out of me when I was a kid....I think the episode was called "Nightmare at 20,000 feet" and starred William Shatner who sees some kind of gremlin on the wing of the airplane he is flying in, tearing apart one of the engines.  Well I recently stumbled upon a photograph of Edvald Boasson Hagen of Team Sky after he woke up on a flight to Oslo which was oddly reminiscent of that damned gremlin....

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Dear PooBah,

I finally did it!  I finally learned to do a track stand on my fixie!  I'm going to get me some hipster-tail now!  Thought you should know...

Mr. Hottie

Mr. Hottie,

Nice work! I would agree - you're going to be fighting the hipster-chicks off now....Especially since most of them love dating guys they can share bras with.

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Dear PooBah,
Everytime I ride to work my skirt gets caught up in the rear wheel, so I have to keep hiking it up to get it out of the way.  I've heard of something called a skirt guard that women can put on their bicycles to keep their skirt out of the spokes.  I've never tried one but want to know if they work before I spend a lot of money on one.
Thank you so much!
Angela B.

Angela,

Great question.  Unfortunately, they don't work at all. You're method is working much better - and is a lot cheaper - right?

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Have a great weekend.  Ride and race safe!

Grey Manrod Associates

When we last left the Landis saga, the UCI was threatening to sue Floyd because he had insulted "the honour" of current President Pat McQuaid and past-President Hein Verbruggen in an interview given to a German television show and summarized in the following statement sent to Floyd on Feb 7th.

"For the record, you basically indicate that the UCI and its current and former leaders may protect certain cyclists suspected of doping and not others, may falsify results and create stars, and that they may be corrupt."

Days later, Mr. McQuaid was then interviewed by Cycling Weekly, portions of which appeared in this article dated February 10, 2011.

"A lot of the stuff he [Landis] says in relation to what went on in those years is probably true," admitted McQuaid....."There was a lot of doping going on in those teams in those years....If it [American Supreme Court decision] proves that the US Postal Team were involved in a lot of doping, it wouldn't necessarily surprise me.  In those days it was possible to beat the system."

Last week, however, past-president Hein Verbruggen was back on the warpath as he emerged from the shadows to criticize the cycling media for focusing too much on doping in the sport, which he states only affects "one or two percent of the sport", yet receives "50% of the coverage."  Maybe we should cut the old-timer some slack and chalk this statement up to short-term memory loss.  But to refresh his memory, let's look at the VeloNews article published on the 16th of this month (the day Armstrong retired for a second time) which showed the list of the top 20 of the 2005 Tour de France - both in terms of placing and doping.

1. Lance Armstrong, Discovery Channel

2. Ivan Basso, CSC – confessed to Puerto involvement and banned from 2006 Tour ()
3. Jan Ullrich, T-Mobile – connected to Puerto and banned from 2006 Tour
4. Francisco Mancebo, Illes Balears – connected to Puerto and banned from 2006 Tour
5. Alexander Vinokourov, Astana – tested positive for doping at 2007 Tour
6. Levi Leipheimer, Gerolsteiner — accused of doping by Floyd Landis and former Gerolsteiner manager
7. Michael Rasmussen, Rabobank – ejected from 2007 Tour while in the yellow jersey
8. Cadel Evans, Davitamon-Lotto
9. Floyd Landis, Phonak – disqualified as 2006 Tour winner for doping
10. Oscar Pereiro, Phonak – alleged to have doped by Landis
11. Christophe Moreau, Credit Agricole – admitted EPO use after Festina Affaire
12. Yaroslav Popovych, Discovery Channel – home searched
13. Eddy Mazzoleni, Lampre-Caffita – charged in doping conspiracy after receiving a two-year ban in 2008
14. George Hincapie, Discovery Channel — accused of doping by Floyd Landis
15. Haimar Zubeldia, Euskaltel-Euskadi
16. Jörg Jaksche, Liberty Seguros – admitted doping since 1997
17. Bobby Julich, CSC
18. Oscar Sevilla, T-Mobile – suspended by team in 2006 for Puerto links
19. Giuseppe Guerini, T-Mobile
20. Carlos Sastre, CSC
Also, 23. Leonardo Piepoli, Saunier Duval-Prodir – tested positive for CERA in 2008

2005 was the year that Lance stood on the podium and said to those who doubted the performance of the upper echilon of Tour cyclists, "I feel sorry for you.  I'm sorry you don't believe in miracles."

Even if you exclude everyone on this list that was merely accused or suspected of doping by Floyd, that still leaves 50% of the cyclists finishing in the top 20 guilty of doping.  Hein, if you are reading, even a miracle can't make 50% be less than 1%.

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How has Floyd responded to all of this seeming hypocrisy?  Enter Mr. Chade O. Grey and Mr. Sigmund Manrod, attorneys at law for a firm entitled Grey Manrod, Associates. 

Under the noms des plume of Grey & Manrod, Floyd has sent a long list of emails to the UCI that are yes, hilarious, but also ask some incredibly good questions.  You can read all the emails at the NYVelocity site: here.

My favorite of which, however, is this one, penned by Mr. Sigmund Manrod to Mr. Ditesheim, the UCI attorney on Feb. 20th.

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Mr. Ditesheim, the previous letter sent by you, dated 07 Feb 2011 requires a retraction by Mr. Landis. It sets a 15-day window for such a retraction to be submitted. Given the points listed above which detail the fundamental concession that Mr. Landis' statements are "probably true", the established fact that Mr. McQuaid and Mr. Verbruggen are public figures, and that Article 17 of the United Nations International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights requires the predicate of "unlawful attack" to be the basis for legal recourse, we feel that Mr. Landis has acted in a "lawful" manner at all times since he has disclosed his previous behaviours, has told the truth (as accepted by Mr. McQuaid). We consider the threat of any further legal action against him by your clients to be baseless and frivolous, serving the sole purpose of chilling his voice as it relates to his truthful comments to the media, and further exposure of truths about many facets of professional cycling during this period.

It is public knowledge that Mr. Landis has cooperated with the US Food and Drug Administration in providing his eye-witness accounts and conveyed his truthful knowledge of doping during his cycling career. For your information, providing false statements to the US Food and Drug Administration in the course of an investigation carries with it severe penalties. Mr. Landis maintains that he proffered his truthful recollections to the authorities. Mr. Landis understand his responsibility to tell the truth in this matter, and given the radical and direct contradiction of previously made statements by Mr. McQuaid, it is encouraging to see that they, too, understand the import of coming to terms with the truth in the matter.

Please feel free to answer [these] questions.

Primary question: As now Mr. McQuaid has conceded that the "stuff" that Mr. Landis has conveyed is "probably true", are we to still follow Mr. McQuaid's seemingly flippant mention that things he says in the past will be stood by today, despite this being a direct contradiction?In the absence of your direct answers and given the consideration of Mr. McQuaid’s current concession that Mr. Landis' statements are "probably true", we will consider this to be closure to this matter.

Secondary question: If Mr. McQuaid is now allowing for changes to his position and public statement, can you please indicate which part of his "honour" still remains damaged?

Tertiary question: If there still remains some damage, what form is this damage? Please provide documentation as to this damage.

Finest regards,

Sigmund A. Manrod

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Say what you will about past transgressions, Landis brings up some pretty serious contradictions in the UCI's behavior, both formerly and presently.  If these questions and allegations were raised by a reporter for the NY Times, or Wall Street Journal, I think they would be taken a lot more seriously and obviously reach a wider audience.  But what will the cycling community do with them coming from fictitious (and hilarious) attorneys at law, Grey & Manrod?  The questions are the same and just as relevant regardless who is asking them, even if he is wearing double-middle-finger shades.

Oh yeah, and while all of this is going on, Contador is still racing, despite the WADA rule that ANY clenbuterol found in your system is enough to have you serving a suspension.  When asked about the long delay and current status of Contador's case, McQuaid said he is just following protocol.  But I'm wondering, as are others, what happened to proper protocol for other cyclists like Li Fuyu and Tom Zirbel  whose positive A-sample results were announced before B-samples were even tested.  Both of them are still sitting out, and appropriately so.  Where is the equality amongst cyclists that the UCI is so proud of?  It will be interesting to see what Grey Manrod has to say about all of the upcoming developments....

Translation: "Danger! (out of work)" Further translation: "I've got lots of time on my hands, bitches."

Now, I realize that with all these different names of people and places and entities, this entire saga is getting pretty hard to follow.  So if you are having difficulties keeping track of who's who in this whole mess, I've put together a schematic for you using real pictures of all the places and people involved where I can.  There were a few individuals and locations that I couldn't find pictures of - so I just filled them in with substitutes.  I hope this helps make future discussion of this ongoing story a lot easier.  Click to enlarge.

Defending your honour, losing your credibility

Does anyone know if the Floyd Fairness Fund is still accepting donations?  I'd like to send some money. 

Here's the letter Mr. Landis received last week from the UCI.

Uh-oh.  Pat and Hein-y have had their "honour" offended because Floyd accused the UCI of "protecting certain cyclists."

Fast forward to Feb 12.  UCI press officer Enrico Carpani says that they (the UCI) are "pleased" with the  Spanish Federation's Contador investigation and further notes, "It is not beneficial to cycling to see Contador crucified."  You remember the Spanish Federation - right?  They are the ones that just cleared Contador of doping charges despite the fact that he failed two tests for Clenbuterol in his system.  It's so nice to see the UCI protecting wishing the best for Contador.

Pat McQuaid giving the "award of obscene hand-gestures" to Bertie in recognition of his now copy-protected fingerbang salute.

Floyd has written the UCI's attorney, Rolf Ditesheim (the man in charge of preserving Pat and Hein-y's "honour") two responses:

Response #1:

Hello Mr Ditesheim'

I haven't heard from you in a few days and thought I'd drop you a note with a few things to ponder. I'd like you to please try to reconcile this (http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/carpani-says-uci-pleased-with-spanish-federations-handling-of-contador-case) with your threat of litigation in light of todays exoneration of Alberto Contador. I look forward to your explanation.

Thank You
Floyd Landis

And Response #2:

Dear Mr Ditzensheim,
I hope something has not happened to you (!) I have been looking forward to getting to know you good. I have copied Mr. Verbeast at the UCI because a year ago he sent me a similar email asking for some kind of retraction. I don't know what you want retractioned though(!!!).

And I am not living in Switzerland now though and maybe you have a colleague that you trust (and with his records!!!) that can represent me in my upcoming trial. If he can represent me for 500 Swiss Franks that would be GREAT (!!) because I am broke. (that would be 250 swiss franks up front!!!).

One other thing is I want to request that the trial be in Zurich in the summer because it is beautiful there but cold. If Zurich doesn't work possibly San Diego(?????). I live here!!

Thank You!
Floyd

This is a serious matter

(If you are wondering about all the odd (!!!s) and odder word choices in Floyd's response, I believe he's mocking Hein-y's writing style noted in a number of emails he sent to Floyd accusing him of being capable only of winning a yellow jersey in being a nuisance.)

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At this point, I wish to stop and ask some questions to all those who have, like me, decided to waste far too much time following this saga.

1) Regarding "honour": Who actually sues somebody in order to protect their "honour" these days?  It's like some warped anachronistic medieval sentiment has suddenly sprung up in the midst of the soap opera - only instead of Pat and Hein-y challenging Floyd to a duel themselves, they've sent their briefcase-laden attorney/knight to fight in their stead.  I wonder if the letter also came with a virtual glove-slap across the face?

2) Regarding Contador:  Why isn't anyone testing the boy's hair?  Remember that it was the dark hair of 2008 Olympic silver medalist Dimitrij Ovtcharov which yielded a clean sample and thus provided the evidence that his positive Clenbuterol urine sample was likely from accidental ingestion.  If you didn't knowingly take Clenbuterol and recognized that your hair sample could exonerate you - wouldn't you willingly shave your entire head with the excitement of retaining your jersey and not being banned? (Ok - maybe not your entire head if you're Contador because he's got some scars up there - but at least one measely pointy sideburn. Shit, this investigation has gone on so long - Bertie could have grown an entire moustache and shaved it off to donate to the lab in his defense)

3) Regarding Contador #2:  What about the plasticizers found in Bertie's blood as reported by the NY Times in October?  The same plastic that is used to make transfusion bags was found in his blood at a level of 8 times over the limit during the 2010 Tour de France.

The UCI has now said that they will discuss the Spanish Federation's report with WADA and make a decision if they will appeal it or not - but what else could they say, especially considering the media's general sentiment on the issue of Bertie being cleared a farce.  As a spectator for the 2011 pro season, I think I'm going to be tuning my inner-cynic extra finely, unfortunately.  Cause this whole business is reading pretty damned high on the COMO CYCO Stink-O-Meter:

And if we didn't have Floyd publicly dropping trou' and pressing ham on the windshield of the UCI bus, who else would have the cajones to do it?  In some strange way, as a man with absolutely nothing else to lose, I think Floyd could be the person who could save professional cycling.

Too much snow for the mailman to come - so I'm off on a rant....

Earlier in the week, many read the Floyd Landis interview with Paul Kimmage.  Among many, many other things said during the course of the interview, Landis had some pretty pointed accusations about the UCI and its directors, past and present.  In a nut shell, there were certain suggestions that the UCI has been playing favorites within the pro-peloton for money. Two days ago, current UCI president Pat McQuaid had this to say about the interview:

"I read some it.  It got boring half-way through.  I'll read the rest on a plane some time.  I got about a third of the way in.  It was just boring, the detail he was going into about Landis his background and his philosophy about life."

"I can see about this far in front of my face....past that, nothing interests me."

I've never been the director of anything in my life, but I have a suggestion for Mr. McQuaid.  Pat, even if you think Landis is lying through his teeth about everything now, and you would no more wipe your ass with the transcript of the conversation than actually read it - fair enough.  I still see two more reasonable ways to respond to the question posed to you regarding your thoughts on it.

a) "I did read it.....with great interest as a matter of fact.  Some of the suggestions are pretty serious there and are worth looking into. I have no evidence of corruption in the UCI, but cleaning up the sport means making sure it's clean from both the bottom and the top."

b) "No, I've not read it completely yet, but I'm planning on it when I get a little time.  Regardless of Mr. Landis' history, we should take his present comments seriously.  If cleaning up the sport means we occasionally end up chasing some wild geese - so be it.  It's worth the effort."

Either way, you diffuse the seriousness of the allegations.  And you don't end up sounding like a defensive ass-hat.  Jesus, is it so difficult to not sound like a complete effing moron?  Well if you are Pat McQuaid, apparently it is rather difficult.  And the stupidity doesn't stop there....He and the UCI recently suffered a tongue-lashing by respected cycling writer Joe Lindsey in the Boulder Report regarding their refusal to listen to the very pros they are supposed to be protecting, pissing off promoters (and the president of Tour of California, Andrew Messick) and finally ticking off bike manufacturers.  The general question posed by Lindsey is, "Is the UCI losing the sport?"  Well, even if Pat has lost his common sense and the sport of cycling, he hasn't lost his ability to mack on the ladies.

(That's Mari Holden on the left, 2000 world time trial champion, and also first American woman to win three consecutive U.S. time trial championsihps (1998,1999,2000)  Watch the hands, Pat).

And speaking of the UCI and the Tour of California, does anyone else find it a little odd that in 2008, Amgen Tour of California organizer AEG stood steadfastly by the UCI rule that prohibited cyclists under doping investigations from competing (thus preventing then Rock Racing cyclists Tyler Hamilton, Oscar Sevilla and Santiago Botero from racing) but now in 2011, AEG and UCI have agreed to drop that rule for the Tour of California, when a certain Mr. Armstrong (also under investigation) may be wishing to compete? 

I'm guessing the draw in attendance (and thus revenue) in response to the appearnces of Hamilton, Sevilla and Botero far surpasses that of Armstrong - so there is no monetary incentive behind this decision - right?  Such suggestions would be downright....well "boring" for lack of a better word.

And back to Floyd. I guess, according to Pat, everything he had to say was completely bogus.  Oh wait - except now some of it is being substantiated in hard-copy form.....like Landis' reported dispute with the UCI and the money the UCI owed him when his own team (Mercury) couldn't pay him his salary in 2001. (The UCI has regulations that provide financial support to professional cyclists in the event that their team cannot.)  Apparently, the UCI didn't only withold paying Floyd - but also his teammate Chris Horner who had to "have a garage sale to pay his monthly bills and feed his children....."  You can read all those documents, released today, on the Cyclocosm website.  Past UCI president Hein Verbruggen believed that Landis and Horner's attorney, Michael Rutherford, was too aggressive in his attempt to make the UCI follow their own rules in trying to gain payment for his clients which was not justified by the small amount of the claim:

"Your aggressiveness is not at all justified by a claim of $6,666.66....I have given order to our legal department to take the tone of your approach into account when it comes to following up on your request."

(click to enlargen, or read here).

But the UCI is above reproach - right Pat?  I wonder if the UCI ever treated LA like this?  That old "Floyd has zero credibility" thing that his detractors keep spouting is certainly losing some steam.