Thursday, November 17, 2011

Cyclocross comes back to Columbia - with a death-defying pig colon!

Hey kids.  Cyclocross has finally returned to Columbia, where it should be.  Why should our COMO kids have to drive two hours in any direction to kick ass when we can do that right here in our own back yard?  Here's the scoop:
(click to enlargen)
This Saturday, November 19th in Phillips Park, it is on like Donkey Kong.  So now you are asking yourself, "Where in the shit is Phillips Park?"  Well, I'm a-gonna show you.
Take 63 South from I-70 to the Discovery Parkway exit and turn right.  The Park is on the right along the shore of the lovely Perry Phillips Lake.  In case Siri is guiding you, just tell her the official address is 5050 Bristol Lake Parkway.

Here's the course layout.

Take special note of that curly-Q section in the middle.  That is what is called a "Spiral of Death" for those in the CX biz.  Here's what one looks like in action...

Even I have to admit that watching a bunch of C-class racers navigate a Spiral of Death brings absolutely nothing death defying to mind. Instead - they all look like a bunch of slow moving turds making their way down the spiral colon of a pig only to be shat out upon a set of barriers and a run up.  (Yes, pigs have sprial-shaped colons....don't ask me how I know this.) 

I can say this because I am a C-class spiral turdville, here I come....let's hope I don't clog up the works.

At any rate, word on the street is that turnout for this Saturday's race is going to be big, with big names coming in from Jeff City, Hermann, St. Louis and Kansas City, and last but not least, all the heavy hitters from little old Columbia including 2010 Bubba CX champion Dan Miller, 2010 Missouri State CX Champion and current Bubba CX points leader Josh Johnson, 2011 Hermann CX champion John Schottler, as well as COMO elite racers Lawrence Simonson, Mike Best, Mike Bruzina and Pam Hinton to name but a few.  So even if you aren't coming to race - you aren't going to want to miss out on watching the throw down.

Oh yeah - and you've only got 48 more hours to check out the COMO AWESOMO page on facebook to talk some trash....

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