Columbia Missouri Cycling Cooperative: Friday Mail: Testicular fortitude and apologies

I recognize that many readers may stumble upon this blog from somewhere other than Columbia, Missouri, and if you are one of those individuals, first, let me say ~~sucks to be you~~ how sorry I am. Whereas if Portland, Oregon has become the bicycling Mecca of the United States, Columbia has become, at the very least, the Medina....we ride a lot, but for better or worse, don't feel the need to get as naked as our Oregonian brothers and sisters while on the bike. Secondly, let me also say ~~check out the great local shit you're missing!!~~ that I am sorry for the regional nature of the inital part of this post which focuses on some local upcoming cycling events.

Sunday, January 31 @ Klunk Bicycles and Repair: The 2010 Missouri Gravel Grinder series comes to Columbia. A 46 mile ride will ensue led by our own Karl of Klunk Bike Shop.

Portions of the ride will cover the MKT and KT trails, and there looks to be much climbing, but also partly sunny skies. You can check out the map here. And for more information, go here. And on another note...if you have never had the good fortune of visiting Klunk's, and have never met Karl, then your cycling life, my friends, is not complete. Let me give you a brief introduction to the myth, the man, the legend....one photo pretty much says it all....

Wednesday, February 17 @ The Blue Fugue: The Bamboo Bike Project Benefit will be going down with much music and libation to support the Bamboo Bike Project which is an organization that educates people of African nations to build safe and sturdy bicycles from locally grown bamboo to provide efficient transportation to those in need, thus raising their quality of life. There is a $5 cover, 100% of which goes to the organization. Drink specials and sweet, sweet door prizes will be available!

And now lastly, let me apologize in advance for the remainder of this post, which is completely devoid of decent writing, decent content, or decency in general....I thus bring you this week's mail:

Dear PooBah,

Recently, Chris Horner, soon-to-be team Radio Shack workhorse and Lance domestique, posted a photo on Twitter with the question of whether or not we, the readers, knew how he keeps his favorite Mavic cycling shoes "so hot". See below:

Do you have any ideas?

Thanks!

Mary F.

Mary-

I'm guessing by hanging them from the crotch of his chamois bibs like a pair of truck nutz?

Dear PooBah,

I am an avid cyclist, but also own a motorcycle, which in my opinion, is the ultimate form of two-wheeled freedom. My two obsessions have always co-existed peacefully....but the other morning, when I walked out into my garage, you would never believe what I saw. I've read the acronym POIDH, meaning 'picture or it didn't happen' - so I did just that...captured a shot of this disturbing scene....What do I do about this?

Yours-

Trenton P.

Trenton-

Well there are one of two possible scenarios: First, some bikes, like some dogs, will express their dominance, by mounting others. Thus, your reflector bedazzled Giant may not be interested in the sex at all, but rather is trying to force your Ninja crotch rocket into submission out of jealousy. The second possibility is that your bicycle is hornier than a hoot owl....and I'm guessing by the size of his derailleur, that he's not a fixed gear....so I might be making some room in the garage for a bunch of little....

Dear PooBah,

I saw that you finally made the Chicks and Bikes blog roll....but probably did so at the expense of your female readership. I hope you know what you are doing....because the world of female cyclists is rich and growing all the time. I thought I should send you a photo of myself to help lure those women back who might be pissed at you for showing gratuitous sexy female photos, but never show any of men.

Cheers!

Rich E.

Rich-

No question, your photo should take care of my readership......

Dear PooBah,

My Moots seatpost keeps slipping in my seat tube....do you have any suggestions? I'm attaching a photo of it so that you might be able to see if there is anything wrong with it that would cause the slippage.

Thank you!

Mandy J.