Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Motivation through criticism: Shit beer and nipple massages

As I was finishing my ride on Sunday, I passed through downtown and happened upon this fixie on the south end of 9th street.

What you can't appreciate from this photo is the sticker that is adorning the top tube, which I've magnified below for your benefit.

Coincidentally or not, the campaign sticker promoting Sarah Palin in 2012 is perched just above a dual water bottle configuration that is equally as baffling to me as Mrs. Palin's potential presidential candidacy. As you can see, the top water bottle is positioned so close to the head tube that the cyclist was unable to get the  bottle out of the cage, and thus left it hanging half in and half out.  Thus, the bottle has the appearance of being potentially useful, but upon closer inspection, is entirely useless, thus once again bringing me to the 'Sarah Palin as President' analogy.  Looking good and being good isn't the same thing.

But surely I should ease up on  Mrs. Palin, not because I don't think she would do a good job, but rather because I wouldn't want any ribbing to somehow actually encourage her to run for office again.  Criticism has a way of fueling certain peoples' motivational fires.  Bearing this in mind, I was quite perplexed when I read the following on cyclingnews.

The Saxo Bank Team owner and former Tour de France champion was first quoted as saying "I am deeply impressed by what he delivered last year.  It was beautiful and deserves great respect....I think he can do well....."  And about this point, one can sense a 'but' on its way larger than that female gymnast's became after she won the gold medal in China...

"...but it will be difficult for him to get on the podium,  So he must really do much better, and I do not think he can.  He is getting older......He must pull himself together to make the top-five."

So what, we must ask, would prompt Riis, to smack the hornets' nest that is Lance Armstrong's motivational engine?  Is this some kind of reverse psychology or does he really believe LA is over the proverbial Alpe D'Huez?  Well, there is some evidence that LA might be past his competitive prime...The GEEC pointed this out to me a couple nights ago while she was reading Women's Health magazine....

Titled "Leader of the Pack," this special 'exclusive' Q and A interview with Armstrong is actually an advertisment for Michelob ULTRA.  The third question of the "interview" reads:

Q: How does Michelob ULTRA fit into your balanced lifestyle?
A: I am a guy who enjoys going out and pushing myself to the limit.  That could mean a 6-hour bike ride or a 2-hour gym session.  Whatever the activity, I enjoy the rewards of a hard workout.

The implication being that after a hard training ride, Lance gathers with his group of demographically accurate racially diverse friends, as seen here, and cracks a nice cold bottle of watered down piss Michelob ULTRA.

I think Riis must be right.  He has got to pull himself together....

Evidence suggests LA is trying to center himself and focus on the future, however.  Apparently, his motivational drive is no longer fueled by refuting criticism and welling anger, but rather by deep, mammary massages.  Look out Schleck boys.....

Pedal on!

1 comment:

  1. ey you forgot to include the girl that give you the massages jajajaja, I just kidding, I want to say that people who practice this sport, really deserve all this commodities.