Thursday, November 12, 2009

Mid MO BRR Recap!

Like many of you, I participated in the MidMO BRR a couple of weeks ago.  I had been told in advance that riders would start showing up at 9:00 AM, but that the real fun would probably begin a bit later on.  With nervous anticipation, the COMO CYCO GEEC and I decided to be there early to capture the full spectacle and not miss a moment.  As I rode down the trail to pick her up that morning, I passed a man walking his dog.  While I cannot reveal how I was dressed, let it be known that if you were a middle-aged, conservative man, moderately overweight and balding, walking down the trail with your Pug at 8:45 AM and were approached by me, dressed as I was, riding a bike toward you, you might have possessed the same look as this gentleman which one could describe as a combination of disdain and terror.  Fair enough. 

I met the fully garbed GEEC and together we rode down the trail toward Flatbranch park and as we came to the intersection of Stewart and Providence, immediately found ourselves "salmoning" upstream against a heavy current of fast moving runners who apparently had just begun a 10k down the trail leaving from the MKT entrance.  Non of them were costumed, or amused at seeing two lumbering, heavily made-up jack-asses careening into their pack.  Thankfully, we made it through unscathed and arrived at the park.

After we registered, we got our bikes up on the street above the park so we could watch the insansity unfold. 

I was immediately impressed by how elaborate many of the costumes were and started to feel underdressed.  Just about that time, a taxi pulled up into the midst of the growing crowd of arriving cyclists and I commented to the GEEC, "Wow, that's odd.  Who would take a cab to the BRR - and where are their bikes?"  Out of the cab stumbled two young women in very tight, very short dresses, one in stilletoes and the other in slingbacks - both with rather mussed hair, and tired eyes.  They looked at us with expressions that can ONLY be described as non-plussed.  The GEEC said "Hey look - they're dressed up like hookers!"  But as they paid the cabbie and proceeded to stumble toward a white Lexus with a Delta Gamma sticker on the rear window, the taller one frantically clawed through a sequined clutch looking for keys. We then both realized that they weren't competing in the BRR, but rather the Saturday Morning Walk of Shame contest, which they were easily winning.  Good on you - ladies.

Costumes with iconic Christian-based religious themes seemed to be a big hit this year.  There was Alvin, the friar:

A pregnant nun,

And Santa Claus

Perhaps the last one was more Christian ironic, than iconic, but who cares, really.

It was interesting to note how non-costumed Columbians going about their Saturday morning business interacted with we, the dressed-up revelers.  Most could be described simply as "unamused".  Take, for example, this fellow dressed in his collegiate attire giving two majestically dressed pigs, a sidelong and unamused glance.

Recently, in my meandering on the great bazarre that is the internet, I stumbled upon a purchasable sticker which displays a graphic representing the general feeling of being "unamused".  I'm not sure of the origin of the image, or who designed it, but I think I may have inadvertently discovered the model upon whom it was based in the photo above: bald head, dead eyes, flat mouth.

Other big hits this year were the use of props.

This outhouse came complete with some reading material AND skunks, which I'm sure was amusing and all until some wayward BRR cyclist stumbed inside of it after having consumed one too many bagels and cups of coffee that morning.

One of my favorite tow-along props however had to be this lovely inflatable lady which resembled a pornographic Sleeping Beauty complete with forbiden fruit and a mouth that could fit onto a long stem presta valve and come in handy in reinflating a flat tire, if need be. 

She definitely would not be of much interest to those with a foot fetish, however.

I also have to make mention of a certain carboard and duct-taped knight that the GEEC was particularly fond of.  I'm trying to remember what his helmet reminds me first I thought of the black knight from Monty Python's Holy Grail, but that's not it...and then I seemed to remember some little goofy helmeted creature from the 1985 movie Legend with Tom Cruise and Mia Sara.  I tried to find a photo, but to no avail.  At any rate - I bring you Sir Box-A-Lot in all of his glory.

And here's to anyone and everyone who had bacon involved in their costume as well.  The PooBah abides.

It was long about this time that I made a terrible blunder.  In the midst of my own shutter-bugging delerium, I dropped my guard and photographed somone JUST as he was photographing me.  It was some guy wearing a VERY crafty and subtle costume.  See if you can guess who he is supposed to be?

You have to look very low down on this guy to figure it out....but if you did and caught site of the magenta bandana wrapped tightly around the right ankle, you would have gotten it right away: The character ' John Bender' from the movie The Breakfast Club!  Well played....

But not to worry, I followed this guy around all day, and pickpocketed his camera cell phone when he was waiting in line to take a leak at Katfish Katy's and I replaced the photo he took of me with this image.

At long last the ride finally got underway and we were flying down the trail.  Until we had to stop and have some beer offered up by these fine gentleman and the impressively constructed beer bike.  Please note:  Drinking beer leads to pendulous frontal sagging of "L'eroica" Brooks wool cycling jerseys in 2 out of 3 cyclists as can be seen in our very own Triplets of COMO-ville.

The rest of the ride unfolded uneventfully.  The GEEC and I pedalled delightfully into Rocheport where we awaited the award ceremony.  All winners were well-deserving although there was one chap who didn't win a thing and yet somehow should have been recognized for his combination of mystery, intrigue and dapper style.

Here's hoping everyone had a great time.  Thanks to Mike and crew at Off Track Events and the folks at Flat Branch Pub and Brewing and Klunk for the free beer.

Pedal on!

No comments:

Post a Comment