Thursday, May 26, 2011

Time to clean the gutters

Obvious to very few, I've been hesitant to write anything these past couple of months. This is due to several reasons.  First, the rain gutters on my house really needed cleaning.  (FYI, I'm still in the contemplative phase of cleaning them - but that alone is a time consuming chore.)  Secondly, my views on cycling have become increasingly jaded, and recently, downright paranoid.  That is to say, my views on professional cycling.  This of course didn't help:
But honestly, the 60 minutes piece was a little misguided, soft-handed and apologetic for my tastes, and only served as a weak chaser of sorts to longtime LA fanboy Bill Strickland's article in Bicycling entitled "Lance Armstrong's Endgame" that starts off with the sentence,

"When I told my daughter that I believed that Lance Armstrong had doped, she didn't have much to say."

I have to admit, the entire issue chaps my ass.  Firstly, why does everyone feel they need to be so apologetic in the reporting of this story?  Secondly, I'm simply pissed that Armstrong thinks he can lie and buy his way out of this.  Obviously, I think he's guilty and have thought that for a long time.  But I don't really want to spew my bias and suspicions on anyone else - just have a place to vent.  And this is why if I continue to maintain this blog - I'm not going to post on Facebook anymore.  No one should be subjected to anyone's opinion on anything unknowingly - it's not fair.  Therefore - if you are interested in my thoughts, you can wander by on your own free will anytime from now on - and if my opinions upset you, no worries, just move along.  So yeah, I'm convinced he doped.  And you know what - I could care less.  But this is what I do care about, and why this issue does matter, 10+ years after the fact:

Yeah - I, myself, was an LA fanboy back in the day - probably bigger than most.  So am I pissed that I chose to look up to him?  Not really. That's just who I am - I get excited about extraordinary things and have the tendency to look up to anyone who demonstrates the capacity to achieve greatness.

I think the following video best surmises why I'm pissed and why I think this matters. This is sworn testimony in the SCA deposition from 2005, and LA has just been asked why his current contract with Tailwind Sports doesn't have a clause in it specificying the ramifications if he tests positive. Listen for about a minute and a half (or as long as you want).

Did you catch that bit about how it doesn't matter if his contract has a clause in it that outlines what will happen if he is ever caught with his hand in the cookie jar?  In his words, it wouldn't matter because at greater stake is the faith of cancer survivors and hundreds of thousands of supporters. I hope he sleeps well at night using us as his defense.

But of course, he has decided to cloak himself with something a little more substantial than just the faith and hope of cancer survivors.  Take the news from today:  LA has just hired attorneys John Keker and Elliot Peters.  If you don't remember, these guys formerly represented professional baseball players and successfully prevented federal agents from accessing the results of their drug tests back in 2003.  That's their speciality: suppressing information.  A question:  If you have nothing to hide - why pay so much money in hiring professional 'hiders' to keep it hidden?  For those of you keeping score - that brings LA's attorney count up to 6:  Keker, Peters, Fabiani, Herman, Luskin and Daily.  I guess that's what they call "lawyering up."

News flash for Lance:  There are two courts that are going to affect your outcome: the court of law and the court of public opinion.  And brandname attorneys don't help your case in the latter court; quite the opposite.

And it's also got to be flipping expensive!  Where will the money come from?  Cause I'm guessing his attorneys don't share Lance's sentiment, so eloquently expressed in the video above, that "It's not about the money."  Lucky for him, he's got a few luxury homes laying around that he is trying to sell off.  And guess which one just dropped in price from $12.1 million to $8.7 million last Friday, the same day he hired Bob Luskin (ex-attorney for Karl Rove).

This one!!!  A beautiful "vacation home" in Dripping Springs, TX.

We can only hope that this signals an Armstrong liquidation sale of some sort.  Cause I've had my eyes on one of those yeller-colored jerseys for a while now.  I'm guessing that the fancy pockets on the back will come in handy for holding tools when I'm up on the ladder cleaning out my rain gutters.  Although I'm about a year late in cleaning them - I don't actually feel so bad.  Look how long it's taken someone to finally start thinking about cleaning out America's dirtiest cycling gutter!


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  2. Great to have you back! However this topic is as gloomy as this weather has been.

    Seriously I can not imagine how professional cycling can sink any worse. I think this is the nadir.

    A couple of positive points: 1. you're back, 2. pro cycling is only the smallest element of cycling in general 3. cycling is still and will always be a great activity 4. Lance must sleep in the bed that he made

    What we need is humor. Here's some and this could very well be the answer for professional cycling.

  3. David's right. Although a lot of cyclists were brought down by the news, Lance Armstrong is not the beginning, and certainly not the end of cycling! At least now your gutters are out of the way.