Cycling Music Videos 2009: the Good, the Bad and the Fuzzy.

When I started this blog many months ago, I did so to explore the culture of cycling, and all of its oddities, and also how it affects me and those like me, who tend to spend a lot of time thinking about cycling.  But as I was exploring one culture, it seems another culture was exploring me....And that was the culture of music.  Recently, I was asked to be interviewed by music aficionado, and fellow COMO blogger, Ms. Elizabeth, over at A Ravenous Horde regarding a cyclist's perspective on music for this year, and this decade.  Come to find out, Ms. Elizabeth is a bit of a cyclist herself and wanted to know what I was rocking out to on my iPod as I slog away on the trainer.  Under the cover of night, and a veiled fez, I granted her an interview which you can read here.   To say I feel honored is an understatement.

But this entire experience reminded me of how cycling culture is intersecting with other cultures more and more these days, and music is certainly no exception.  Friday last, we spoke a bit about the new video for the song called 'Kings and Queens' by Jared Leto's project, Thirty Seconds to Mars, which features Mr. Leto striking douchetastically Bono-esque poses in front of a fading sun, interspersed with scenes of him riding his fixed gear around  empty city streets.  This video has been lampooned by both cycling and music cultures here and here, respectively.  Not wanting to beat the proverbial dead horse, I will leave you with the prior two commentaries as both individuals are much more accomplished writers than me (or should that be 'I'....dammit!)  Anyway - no one can parody Leto better than himself.

Right about the same time that Leto was putting together his video, another group, The Flaming Lips was recruiting cyclists for their video for the song 'Watching the Planets'.  But instead of costumed urbanites, frontman Wayne Coyne wanted his cyclists completely naked.  Of course, if one needs to find cyclists ready to shed their clothes quicker than you can say "scrotal chafing", one needs to look no further than Portland.  And indeed, a veritable bevy of nude, anatomically flapping, Portland cyclists responded to the call.  The only thing they were confused about was that they wouldn't be shedding their clothes for any particular cause, but rather to just appear naked in a video.  This was to be no outcry against traffic, or stolen bike lanes, or lack of service in the drive-thru window of Burgerville, but rather to make a music video involving what can only be described as a giant, fuzzy vagina ball.

I have watched the entire video.  Once.  And I can safely say that not only is it Not Safe For Work (NSFW) but like many naked cycling endeavors, it's NSFYR (Not Safe For Your Retinas) either.  Because of this fact, I have chosen not to post the video here, but rather provide a link to it, if you feel so inclined.  Just click the words "Giant Fuzzy Vagina Ball" if you feel like having the rest of your day somehow altered.

Like the 'Kings and Queens' video, Coyne's video has been mocked and ridiculed by many non-Oregonian cycling groups as well.  Thus, it would seem, that the two attempts to merge cycling and musical cultures this year in the form of music video have unceremoniously flopped like a Portland penis on a San Marco saddle.  At least that's what I thought until a good friend of mine passed this little gem on to me yesterday.

Ladies and gentleman, I bring you the 2009 Cycling-related Music Video of the Year:  'Only Love You For Your Car" by Immaculate Machine.  100% free of douche-bags, genitals askew on bike seats, floppage, and poseurs.  100% chock full of home-made, road-warrior, bicycle-part weaponry goodness.

I knew I was going to like this video from its opening shot:

Pedal on!