Columbia Missouri Cycling Cooperative: Friday Mail and a word from our sponsor

Before we get started today, we have a word from our sponsor, Enzo's Button Hole Chamois Cream!

And with that, it's on to another edition of Friday Reader Mail!

Dear PooBah,
Have you heard of the new sport called "extreme ironing?" Wikipedia describes it as "an extreme sport in which people take an ironing board to a remote location and iron items of clothing. According to the official website, extreme ironing is the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt." I was googling images from Japan last week for a school report and came upon this extreme ironing competition on a velodrome in Tokyo. What do you think of all of this?
Kerry L

Kerry,

All the above photo proves is that 95% of weird shit on the internet comes from Japan. I don't know why, but it's true. Case in point:

Dear PooBah,

I showed up at the roadie's group ride the other night on my tri-bike. Toward the beginning of the ride, I heard someone mutter under their breath that my brand new XLab USA Carbon Wing seat-mounted dual water bottle cage/repair kit/saddle bag was "gay." Quite frankly, I take offense to this....first, because I don't like the way the word "gay" is used in this derogatory fashion, and secondly because I spent a lot of money on this piece of equipment. I mean - it's carbon and everything! How should I deal with this?

Peter H.

Peter,

First, don't fret about your recent purchase. Despite the fact that your seat post appears as though it has assumed the properities of an electromagnet in a junk yard, I'm quite sure the Carbon Wing is very useful. Secondly, you shouldn't take offense. The word "gay" is used extensively in the world of cycling, and rarely has anything to do with the actual sexual orientation of the cyclist.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

By the way, your tri-bike wouldn't happen to be a Triumph, would it?

Dear PooBah,

I'm going to try to race Cyclocross for the first time this season and am really excited about it! The main reason I'm so fired up is because recently, I've grown tired of the attitude and competitiveness associated with road racing. I honestly will not miss the cut-throat, win-at-all-costs' style of racing that has seemed to define the road racing culture lately. I've heard that 'cross is much more laid back, at that no one really cares how you finish - it's just all about having fun. Is this true?

Thanks!

Timothy S.

Tim...

That's right....it's all just about having fun with your friends.

Dear PooBah,

Wednesday night, I hosted my annual Country Music Awards party. As always, I drank too much moonshine, swallowed all my chaw, and ended up losing my dinner on my pit bull, Waylon. However, the high point of the CMA's this year was getting to see the Mozart of our generation do his thing. Of course, I am referring to Mr. Kid Rock. But it was during the Kid's performance that I began to notice an uncanny resemblance between Kid Rock and Floyd Landis. Since, as that want-to-be Tim McGraw said, "Kid Rock is the only artist that can be called a rapper, rock star, and country artist," could he also be a man of so many other talents that he is actually Floyd as well?

Get-R-Done
Buck Russell

Hey Buck,

It's good to hear from you again. These weekly letters from you are getting to be a bit of a regular occurence - eh? I hope you took my advie from last weekend and spent some time working on your dance moves for the next TriGeek-Roadie Rumble......just remember - dance like no one is watching, Buck. I know you have it in you. Anyway - on to your question regarding Floyd and Kid Rock. You know, as much as it pains me to say this, I think you may be on to something. Check out what Floyd tweeted back in March!

Could this be a little shameless self-promotion of his night time gig?

Dear PooBah,

My friend and I have a question related to washing our mountain bikes when they get really, really dirty. Is it harmful to put them directly under a steady stream of water? Do we risk forcing more mud and grime into the bottom bracket by doing this? We've attached a picture of our current washing method so you can let us know if this will cause any problems.

Thanks-

Cindy and Sherrie

Ladies,

Don't worry about the bottom bracket....just try using some more soap and a little more teamwork.....yes...soapy, sudsy teamwork...

Dear PooBah,

I get tired of you posting photos of scantily clad gorgeous women on your blog every Friday. What about a little equal representation? Female cyclists come in all shapes and sizes you know!

Helen M.

Helen,

Fair enough...and you have my full apologies if my feeble attempt at a little risque humor offends you or anyone else. And just for you.....here's a female cyclist that is definitely all about 'shape and size'...hope this is more suitable.

Dear PooBah,

At last week's naked bike ride, my girlfriend endoed bad and kissed concrete:

I'm happy to report that she is just fine....but damn near lost a nipple or two in the process and ended up with some pretty wicked scrapes on her chest. She's worried about permanent and disfiguring scars, so I told her she might consider getting a full torso cycling-related tattoo to cover up any skin blemishes that result after the scabs come off. I know how you love tattoo art, and wondered if you have examples of any such tattoos that might inspire us?

Thanks

Cyril G.

Cyril-

Sure do.

Don't be dissuaded by the fact that this one was found on an Amish man's chest. A flaming chainring in the clouds would probably also cover up your friends road rash scars just as well.

Have a great weekend everyone! And best of luck to those of our COMO kids competing in Gateway this weekend.